1 Star Reviews Of Classics.

Sometimes i want to hurt people, other times I just stand still with a blank look upon my face thinking "WTF"

I give this idea a 1 star rating. The comments aren't witty and they're generally without substance. Why showcase comments like "This movie was too long, it should be 1:30 to 2:00 hours", "the only things going for this movie were the sets, the lead actor and the ending"? If the author had selected comments which were actually worthwhile it might have been a good idea, but as it is I don't see the point.

I dunno, I thought this one was amazing:

Reviewing This Is Spinal Tap:

Quote :

If you’re going to make such an excellent documentary, why make it about about a band that nobody has ever heard of?

Getting similar behind-the-scenes footage on the Who, The Stones, or Genesis would have been a monumental achievment in documentary cinema.

But Spinal Pap?

I like the Sgt Peppers review...

Quote :

This alBUM and the beatles in general are way too over-rated! How can you people say this album is perfect without it having ONE GOOD METAL GUITAR PART!

edit: and another

Quote :

This album is a rip off Pink Floyd’s DARK SIDE OF THE MOON. The beatles copied Pink Floyd and this is the reason why Pink Floyd are better. Simply a weak and disgusting effort. Best avoided.

haha, the 'Dark Side Of The Moon' ones are brilliant

Quote :

This cacophony of commie buzz words and simplistic, condescending communist ideals both offends me as an American, and as a music listener. Should’ve been called Red Side Of the Moon.

Quote :

SNORE. I can’t believe some of you dorky stoners trapped in the ’70s have the nerve to call this album a “masterpiece” or “one of the best albums of all-time”! LOL, MUSIC NERDS! You people can’t be serious. They didn’t even get any MTV or BET airplay. Therefore, they automatically are horrible. I suggest you listen to a great album like “St.Anger” by Metallica or “Lost Highway” by Bon Jovi if you want a taste of what real music should sound like.

Quote :

Pink Floyd! Holy Christ, they’re the worst band EVER! I mean EVER! OH MY GOD! GROTESQUE! THEY’RE HORRID! WOW! MAKE THEM DIE ALREADY! GO CREED! GO CREED! GO CREED!

It's absolutely comical, kudos to the guy that though of such a blog

Cynicism is a sport best left to the professionals.

bwahahaha... On 'Are You Experienced' by The Jimi Hendrix Experience:

Quote :

I bought this disc based on all the reviews claiming it’s the greatest guitar album ever. I was very dissapointed, most of the solos suck. Plus, I was surprised that MTV didnt play any videos from this album, I wonder why? Probebly cause the MTV crowd know this music is tired and boring. If you want great guitar listen to Good Charlotte.

Quote :

Are you kidding me. Did Avril Lavigne ever use distortion in her songs? Or how about those wierd sound effect things? Mmhhm, that’s whqat I thought. Keeping that in mind, how could anyone in their right mind say that this Hendrix guy is good. You lozerz obviously now nothing about muzik. Some idiots are calling him the best guitar player ever….? HELLO??? That’s like saying MTV doesn’t play good muzik!!! If you want good guitar, try Avril Lavigne, or, the masters of Metal, Limp Bizkit.

Quote :

Words cannot describe my intense dislike for Jimi’s guitar “skills”. This guy is a HACK. All songs sound exactly the same, the drummer is weak, does the bassist even exist? Listen to some REAL music that actually requires talent- like Nickelback

These people can't be serious. must be taking the piss.

Quote from Crashgate3 :

bwahahaha... On 'Are You Experienced' by The Jimi Hendrix Experience:

Good Charlotte and Nickelback is bad enough (Limp Bizkit actually were decent in the beginning, IMO) but Avril Lavigne????

On the Godfather:

Quote :

“The Godfather” has an ugly consciousness and a mean spirit.

Quote :

no hot sex scenes

Quote :

This is a boy movie and I ain’t a boy.

And Spinal Tap:

Quote :

Okay, seriously, who the heck are these Spinal Tap fellas? I’m an expert on music (I studied the art form for four years, know every artist of the last 40 years, and scored an A+ on my math test…which really doesn’t have anything to do with music, but it shows you that I am intellegent), and have never heard of these guys before.

EDIT: forgot to add that there are actually some things considered "classics" that I do hate. Mostly books we had to read in literature class. Like Wuthering Heights. And I do like to read.

Quote :

Overall, Anne Frank was shockingly perverted, bad-tempered, and not very smart.

Amazing stuff

Quote :

It is a huge joke that the Rolling Stones could make more than 20 albums in 40 years and each one of their albums suck horribly ever since 1964. They only made two good songs ‘Start Me Up’ and ‘Shattered’ and the rest of their songs stink! Their vocalist Mick Thornten wears his hair like a mohawk just can’t sing at all and uses makeup like a girl. Keith Richmond, their guitar player is the worst guitar player in the world ever who never took guitar lessons doesn’t know any of the chords,always out of tune and only two strings on his pink guitar. Willie Whatts,their drummer cant drum at all never took lessons and he was no comparison to drum greats like Lars Ulrich. Do not buy any Rolling Stones CD,they are the worst band ever besides Pink Floyd. Put Pink Floyd and Rolling Stones albums in the freezer. Mark Knopfler is 10 times better, get the Ragpicker’s Dream insted

about the rolling stones... LArs Ul-lick-my-balls is a good drummer ??


lmao i love metallica fan boys.

Quote :

This alBUM and the beatles in general are way too over-rated! How can you people say this album is perfect without it having ONE GOOD METAL GUITAR PART! you people need to learn what GOOD music is.

I suggest: Dragon Force, Megadeth, and Death Cab for Cutie.

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

Ok, this thread made my evening

Quote from Scrabby :

Ok, this thread made my evening

This thread made my week

Quote :

This movie was so violent I couldn’t believe it! On a scale of 1 to 10 on the violence in this movie I would give it a 9!

-_-

Quote :

I rented this waiting to be blown away. I’m still waiting. I expected a lot more action. I’m pretty sure I will enjoy it a lot more when Warner Bros finally gets around to releasing the colorized version, the way this movie needs to be seen - the world is not black and white, why should our movies be?

!-_-

i have to say i agree with many of the reviews on 2001 and lebowski

Dont know if this was posted yet:
http://notalwaysright.com/

http://www.rinkworks.com/said/

http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/

Bookmark these and read some in times of boredom, that's what I do

Quote from lizardfolk :

dont know if this was posted yet:
http://notalwaysright.com/

ahaha

Quote :

(a customer comes up to the window where you pick up your order after your number was called. All he ordered was a biscuit.)
customer: “biscuit?”
cook: “biscuit.”
customer: *cocks head to one side* “biscuit?”
cook: “biscuit.”
customer: *cocks head to other side* “biscuit?”
cook: *picks up biscuit, shows the customer each side slowly* “bis-cuit.”
customer: “oh! Biscuit!” *proceeds to take plate to table*

Quote from Timdpr :

http://www.rinkworks.com/said/

http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/

Bookmark these and read some in times of boredom, that's what I do

I only read the "Accident Reports" part and am already crying.

Quote :

(note: Bear spray is basically just pepper spray that you use if you are attacked by a bear.)
me: “hello, thank you for calling [outdoor supply store]. How can i help you?”
customer: “yeah, um…i bought some bear spray from you earlier today and now my skin is burning.”
me: “your skin is burning? Did the bear spray come into contact with your skin?”
customer: “of course! I sprayed it all over myself!”
me: “did you read the instructions?”
customer: “no, i thought it was like bug spray.”
me: “sir, you’re not supposed to spray it on your skin. You’re supposed to spray it in the bear’s eyes. You should probably go take a shower.”
customer: “so i can’t repel the bears by putting bear spray on my skin?”
me: “no, sir…are you sure bear country is the right place for you?

:d

Quote from zeugnimod :

I only read the "Accident Reports" part and am already crying.

Tech Support: "Ok Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager."

Customer: "I don't have a 'P'."

Tech Support: "On your keyboard, Bob."

Customer: "What do you mean?"

Tech Support: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."

Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"

From the courtroom ones:

Quote :

* Lawyer: "When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?"
* Other Lawyer: "Objection. That question should be taken out and shot."

Quote :

I heard the Beatles album “Rubber Soul”, the one with their one hit “Norwegian Wood”. That song was good and the other filler songs were…eh…(flipping my hand around like to say “ehhhh”, you know?)…I always saw these guys as a one hit wonder. But someone said, “You gotta hear ‘Abbey Road’ by them.” And, I was like. Okay

Quote :

I see here that some people gave this thing 5 stars. Hello! What? There’s a reason you never hear of these guys any more. They’re probably all living in a shack trying to live on their little checks for “Norwegian” Wood.

On The Beatles - Abbey Road. How did they survive on that one song

Grea website has had me in stitches

Quote :

Me: “…and your total comes to $4.45.”

Customer: “Well, I’m a close friend with the owner and he told me that you’ll hook me up with the drink.”

Me: “I’m sorry, unless he told me directly I can’t do that for you.”

Customer: “Are you calling me a liar?”

Me: “Yes.”

(Coincidentally, Bob, the owner, shows up so I give him his usual coffee.)

Me: “Here you are, Bob!”

Customer: “Oh, so you can hook that jerk-off up with a free drink but not me?”

Me: “Sir, it’s not polite to call your close friend a jerk-off.”

Edit: and also...

Quote :

Me: “Would you like this gift wrapped?”

Customer: “Yes I would.”

Me: “OK - here’s your receipt. Just head to the back of the store in about 5 min–”

(The customer eats the receipt.)

Me: “Oh…um, you actually need that to collect your purchase from gift wrap…”

(The customer spits the receipt onto the counter.)

Customer: “It didn’t taste very good anyway.”