I thought I'd post a hilariously depressing complaint letter a friend sent after attending a Ferrari, Porsche and Rally Car driving experience day. It cracks me up 
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: COMPLAINT - REF: Ferrari Porsche and Rally full day
Date: Sun, 14 Jun 2009 22:28:40 +0100
Hi,
I would like to make a complaint and feedback referring to my recent Ferrari vs Porsche vs Rally 'Experience' Day. This day was taken at seighford in staffordshire.
Please allow me to start by stating that I was deeply disappointed throughout the day, and as a big motoring enthusiast I am sickened how misled I and other customers were as to what kind of day will take place.
My day kicked off (like a carrier bag in a light breeze) with the '4x4 experience', whereby I crawled at a snail's pace (by the instructor's request) across something which was basically someone's overgrown alotment. The 'experience' lasted approximately 3 minutes (if that), 2 of which were spent with the instructor 'helping' me with the steering. As passengers were allowed with me for free, the parents sat in the back and were quickly equally underwhelmed with what just took place, and like me, hoped that things could only get better.
Leaving the 'off-road' area, I took the minibus back to the main facility for the Porsche 911 drive. I waited patiently for an hour awaiting my turn, however as time pressed on I noticed that there were 1 or 2 individuals there (people's guests, friends, family) who had fancied a bit of the 'action' themselves, walked into the reception desk, bought a drive voucher, walked back out and straight into the seat of the very car I myself had been waiting my turn for. What good is paying money 6 months in advance if people paying on the day are given priority? Very insulting...
My turn finally arrived, and I was happy at least to be DOING something. However out on the circuit, my mood slipped further and further as my driving was nannied from start to finish by the instructor who was not particularly friendly nor trusting despite doing my best to introduce and express myself as formally as possible to put him at ease. It didn't work, and after 3 minutes my porsche 911 'experience' was over. All I experienced was how to drive a porsche 911 around some cones without breaking the national speed limit.
Next up was the Ferrari 360. According to the sharp marketing blurb slipped into the itinerary on your website: 'Trying to describe what it's like to drive a Ferrari is impossible. ' - I can describe the experience very well. I can say I drove a ferrari, much like a car parking valet for a fancy restaurant can say they drove a ferrari, because I am sure the driving behaviour is very similar. After my 3 minute gentle cruise I stepped out of the car, looking forward to another lengthy wait until the next 'session' after lunch.
After another trip on the minibus back to the 'off-road' section, it was time to step into the peugeot 106. This promised to be more interesting, perhaps the instructors would not be so terrified of letting customers drive these cars? Wrong. Here I drove at an instructed 20 miles per hour around a handful of cones on a 'gravel' circuit, whilst an attendant stood nearby with a hosepipe sprinkling water onto the area, probably in an attempt to disguise the fact that I might have been driving around a slightly potholed industrial estate, it was hard to spot the difference. As I became more comfortable in the short space of time I would be in the car, I found the instructor killed the throttle in order to slow me down. This was as firm a gesture as any that I would simply not be having any fun in any of the cars here. After no more than 2 minutes I stepped out of the 106 and back to the main area.
After another dose of standing around for 40 minutes, it came time to drive the Mitsubishi Evo 8. Once again I held hope that I would be trusted with the car without being made to feel like I'm on my first driving lesson again. This was probably the only fun drive I had that day with instructor 'Matt', who could probably recognise I knew my right hand from my left and actually held a driving license. It was over all too quickly but for the first time I exited the car with a smile. Probably a smile of relief, because the way the 'experiences' had gone beforehand was very dull indeed.
To round the day off it was time to drive the Subaru, but not before another 40 minutes doing nothing waiting to hear my name. After the Evo, I hoped I could be able to drive the Subaru as freely, if not more. However, several laps were spent following a chain of much slower drivers with no prospect of getting in front thanks to the tiny circuit and it's miniscule straights.
I shall summarise by quoting the slick marketing text on your website:
'A familiarisation session with an instructor driving you around the circuit.'
This did not happen. To be honest it was probably not necessary, what is so hard about remembering which way the half-mile circuit goes when it is nothing more than a grouping of cones here and there?
'Introduction and briefing on the rally stages and rally driving techniques.'
So where were these so-called rally stages? To me, and to everyone I have also shown this sentence, it would appear that customers are presented with a set rally stage, being talked through of what to expect through each corner and how to handle certain pieces of the course, then putting it all together. What ACTUALLY happened is that I and others simply drove the 'rally cars' on the same road course which I had earlier drove in the porsche and ferrari with no difference in the way they were to be driven. This simply did not happen and is utterly and completely misleading.
'A de-briefing session in which you get presented with a certificate and a driver analysis form completed by your instructor.'
This too is almost insulting, Whilst I did get a driver analysis form with 'scores' 84%, 85%, 87%, 90%, 92%, I feel that if I had the opportuny to give the centre an analysis form, I would have given a very, very unimpressed 10%.
Seighford centre in staffordshire was the only location available to me when booking. I have to assume that this is what the experience entails for all, and I have to say that as a keen motoring enthusiast I believe the day was very poor. It is not worth spending the '7 hours' at the venue in exchange for 15 minutes of actual driving, if you can call it that.
I am very realistic about what to expect from 'organised' days like these. I know that institutions cannot be expected to let people drive off on their own with valuable cars (except silverstone who have no problem trusting their customers to bring back their formula fords in one piece, now THAT is a driving experience), and I know that businesses won't make as much money spending more on fuel and maintenance, but I feel as though there was ZERO value for money to be had. It is sacrilege that I feel as though I may aswell have stayed at home that day, but that is what resulted from a mind-numbing and fruitless day. I am glad, more than anything, that I did not have a long drive home unlike some other participants who came from portsmouth and blackpool.
However disappointed I was, what really mattered to me was how my parents felt. This day was out of their pocket as a christmas gift and it makes my blood boil to know that they spent a large proportion of their hard earned cash to provide me with another chance to do what I love to do most and they have been met with something so pathetic ... I certainly would have felt cheated if I had paid £50 for this, let alone £300... Oh yes, NOT forgetting the extra £20 for 'insurance' on top, this should surely have been included in the price and no mention of this was made on the website.
I know for sure that I'll not only give a scalding opinion of this waste of money to whoever asks, I shall go out of my way to warn others to stay well away and choose something more worthwhile, more fun, and for less.
Yours faithfully,
Dan xxxx
SOOOO much venom
This has a similar theme to my last thread, in that he's an LFS junkie that learned to drive fast in real life, in a simulator
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: COMPLAINT - REF: Ferrari Porsche and Rally full day
Date: Sun, 14 Jun 2009 22:28:40 +0100
Hi,
I would like to make a complaint and feedback referring to my recent Ferrari vs Porsche vs Rally 'Experience' Day. This day was taken at seighford in staffordshire.
Please allow me to start by stating that I was deeply disappointed throughout the day, and as a big motoring enthusiast I am sickened how misled I and other customers were as to what kind of day will take place.
My day kicked off (like a carrier bag in a light breeze) with the '4x4 experience', whereby I crawled at a snail's pace (by the instructor's request) across something which was basically someone's overgrown alotment. The 'experience' lasted approximately 3 minutes (if that), 2 of which were spent with the instructor 'helping' me with the steering. As passengers were allowed with me for free, the parents sat in the back and were quickly equally underwhelmed with what just took place, and like me, hoped that things could only get better.
Leaving the 'off-road' area, I took the minibus back to the main facility for the Porsche 911 drive. I waited patiently for an hour awaiting my turn, however as time pressed on I noticed that there were 1 or 2 individuals there (people's guests, friends, family) who had fancied a bit of the 'action' themselves, walked into the reception desk, bought a drive voucher, walked back out and straight into the seat of the very car I myself had been waiting my turn for. What good is paying money 6 months in advance if people paying on the day are given priority? Very insulting...
My turn finally arrived, and I was happy at least to be DOING something. However out on the circuit, my mood slipped further and further as my driving was nannied from start to finish by the instructor who was not particularly friendly nor trusting despite doing my best to introduce and express myself as formally as possible to put him at ease. It didn't work, and after 3 minutes my porsche 911 'experience' was over. All I experienced was how to drive a porsche 911 around some cones without breaking the national speed limit.
Next up was the Ferrari 360. According to the sharp marketing blurb slipped into the itinerary on your website: 'Trying to describe what it's like to drive a Ferrari is impossible. ' - I can describe the experience very well. I can say I drove a ferrari, much like a car parking valet for a fancy restaurant can say they drove a ferrari, because I am sure the driving behaviour is very similar. After my 3 minute gentle cruise I stepped out of the car, looking forward to another lengthy wait until the next 'session' after lunch.
After another trip on the minibus back to the 'off-road' section, it was time to step into the peugeot 106. This promised to be more interesting, perhaps the instructors would not be so terrified of letting customers drive these cars? Wrong. Here I drove at an instructed 20 miles per hour around a handful of cones on a 'gravel' circuit, whilst an attendant stood nearby with a hosepipe sprinkling water onto the area, probably in an attempt to disguise the fact that I might have been driving around a slightly potholed industrial estate, it was hard to spot the difference. As I became more comfortable in the short space of time I would be in the car, I found the instructor killed the throttle in order to slow me down. This was as firm a gesture as any that I would simply not be having any fun in any of the cars here. After no more than 2 minutes I stepped out of the 106 and back to the main area.
After another dose of standing around for 40 minutes, it came time to drive the Mitsubishi Evo 8. Once again I held hope that I would be trusted with the car without being made to feel like I'm on my first driving lesson again. This was probably the only fun drive I had that day with instructor 'Matt', who could probably recognise I knew my right hand from my left and actually held a driving license. It was over all too quickly but for the first time I exited the car with a smile. Probably a smile of relief, because the way the 'experiences' had gone beforehand was very dull indeed.
To round the day off it was time to drive the Subaru, but not before another 40 minutes doing nothing waiting to hear my name. After the Evo, I hoped I could be able to drive the Subaru as freely, if not more. However, several laps were spent following a chain of much slower drivers with no prospect of getting in front thanks to the tiny circuit and it's miniscule straights.
I shall summarise by quoting the slick marketing text on your website:
'A familiarisation session with an instructor driving you around the circuit.'
This did not happen. To be honest it was probably not necessary, what is so hard about remembering which way the half-mile circuit goes when it is nothing more than a grouping of cones here and there?
'Introduction and briefing on the rally stages and rally driving techniques.'
So where were these so-called rally stages? To me, and to everyone I have also shown this sentence, it would appear that customers are presented with a set rally stage, being talked through of what to expect through each corner and how to handle certain pieces of the course, then putting it all together. What ACTUALLY happened is that I and others simply drove the 'rally cars' on the same road course which I had earlier drove in the porsche and ferrari with no difference in the way they were to be driven. This simply did not happen and is utterly and completely misleading.
'A de-briefing session in which you get presented with a certificate and a driver analysis form completed by your instructor.'
This too is almost insulting, Whilst I did get a driver analysis form with 'scores' 84%, 85%, 87%, 90%, 92%, I feel that if I had the opportuny to give the centre an analysis form, I would have given a very, very unimpressed 10%.
Seighford centre in staffordshire was the only location available to me when booking. I have to assume that this is what the experience entails for all, and I have to say that as a keen motoring enthusiast I believe the day was very poor. It is not worth spending the '7 hours' at the venue in exchange for 15 minutes of actual driving, if you can call it that.
I am very realistic about what to expect from 'organised' days like these. I know that institutions cannot be expected to let people drive off on their own with valuable cars (except silverstone who have no problem trusting their customers to bring back their formula fords in one piece, now THAT is a driving experience), and I know that businesses won't make as much money spending more on fuel and maintenance, but I feel as though there was ZERO value for money to be had. It is sacrilege that I feel as though I may aswell have stayed at home that day, but that is what resulted from a mind-numbing and fruitless day. I am glad, more than anything, that I did not have a long drive home unlike some other participants who came from portsmouth and blackpool.
However disappointed I was, what really mattered to me was how my parents felt. This day was out of their pocket as a christmas gift and it makes my blood boil to know that they spent a large proportion of their hard earned cash to provide me with another chance to do what I love to do most and they have been met with something so pathetic ... I certainly would have felt cheated if I had paid £50 for this, let alone £300... Oh yes, NOT forgetting the extra £20 for 'insurance' on top, this should surely have been included in the price and no mention of this was made on the website.
I know for sure that I'll not only give a scalding opinion of this waste of money to whoever asks, I shall go out of my way to warn others to stay well away and choose something more worthwhile, more fun, and for less.
Yours faithfully,
Dan xxxx
SOOOO much venom
This has a similar theme to my last thread, in that he's an LFS junkie that learned to drive fast in real life, in a simulator
) and they are vastly more exciting and fun than an Evo, proving that the excessive restraint they put on the cars completely ruins any experience you might actually have.
Just kept my foot in it and dropped a gear and it came out ok, I thought it was broken tbh coz im sure when I was full sideways the front wheel was bent..