Father and Mother get caught having Marital relations by their young son.

Kids "FREAKS and says "Daddy what are doing to Mommy!"

Father keeps his cool and says "Son go to your room and when Mom and Dad are finished, I'll come talk to you.


Later that night..Father is walking by Gram's room and hears all this noise..opens the door and the kid is just giving it to Gram!

Father screams at his son.."What are you doing"

Kid turns his head and says..

"Not so funny when it's mother is it.

A clean joke By

Now post one without a swear word.

AAnt.

:em31:

Well, since this is a Clean Joke Thread, I'll post a Dirty Joke just to break the rules.

WARNING: THIS IS A DIRTY AND HEAVY JOKE - YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!

The elephant fell on the mud.

I bet my butcher £50 he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf, he said "no, the steaks are too high". :doh:

-You know, a relationship is like a game of cards.
-How come?
-if you don't have a good partner, then you really need to have a good hand.

ok I got this one off a website.

One day a blonde office worker comes out to the warehouse to walk around. As she is walking she looks up and sees a co-worker hanging upside down from an I-Beam in the ceiling.

She asks "What ARE you doing"?

The co-worker says "I need a few days off but the boss won't let me have them so I'm hanging upside down from this I-Beam acting crazy.

The boss will see me, think I need rest and send me home for a few days".

The blonde says "That won't work...uh ohh...here comes the boss now, you're in for it".

The boss spots the blode looking up and sees the man hanging up there and asks him "Just WHAT do you think you are DOING?!!"

The man says (in a "crazy" voice) I'm a light bulb...I'm a light bulb"

The boss says "Buddy, you need some rest..take the rest of today and tomorrow off and get some sleep".

As he is climbing down he winks at the blonde showing her it worked.

The blonde thinks about this for a moment and starts to follow the man out the door.

The boss asks her "WHERE do you think YOU'RE going?"

The blonde says "I can't work in the dark".

Christian goes to his fianceé's house, he's going to meet her parents for the first time.
When they're all dining, a fart is heard (did I mention Christian had problems with gas?). His soon to be father-in-law says, in a warning tone:
- Jason (the elder couple's old dog, who was sitting close to Christian)...
Shortly afterwards, Christian rips another one. The elder man warns the dog again, more seriously:
- Jason!
Christian thinks to himself: "I guess I'll have no problems farting since the dog is the one getting blamed, cool!"
And as time passes, Christian farts as much as he wants, and the old man, nearly out of his mind, says:
- Jason, get the hell out of there before that guy takes a dump on you!

Quote from Senninha25 :

Christian goes to his fianceé's house, he's going to meet her parents for the first time.
When they're all dining, a fart is heard (did I mention Christian had problems with gas?). His soon to be father-in-law says, in a warning tone:
- Jason (the elder couple's old dog, who was sitting close to Christian)...
Shortly afterwards, Christian rips another one. The elder man warns the dog again, more seriously:
- Jason!
Christian thinks to himself: "I guess I'll have no problems farting since the dog is the one getting blamed, cool!"
And as time passes, Christian farts as much as he wants, and the old man, nearly out of his mind, says:
- Jason, get the hell out of there before that guy takes a dump on you!

Haaa That's great

btw - Why have you got the same sig quote as me?

Quote from brandons48 :

btw - Why have you got the same sig quote as me?

I think quoted it first.

Sorry for the bump, but this joke makes it all worth it (found on another forum, felt the urge to share with everyone here),

The Importance of Homework:

Mrs. Parks, asked her class of 10 year olds, 'Which human body part increases to ten times its normal size when stimulated?' No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, 'You should not be asking a question like that to kids our age! I'm going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the head master, who will then sack you!'

Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, 'Which body part increases to 10 times its normal size when stimulated?' Little Mary's mouth fell open. Then she said to those around her, 'Boy, is she going to get in big trouble!'

The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, 'Anybody?' Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, 'The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye.'

Mrs. Parks said, 'Very good, Billy,' then turned to Mary and continued; 'As for you, young lady, I have three things to say, One, you have a dirty mind. Two, you didn't read your homework. And three, one day you are going to be very, very disappointed’

Blonde came to the doctor with many wounds in the forehead.
Then the doctor said: What has happened to you
Blonde: Well, I tried to turn a nail into a bar with
a banana, but it did not work. Then came a guy and said to me:
Use your head!

- Hey man
- Hey
- I got a problem man... my willy has turned red!
- oh it's ok. happened to me once. the doctor said just wash it well enough with soap and it will be ok!
- really man?!?
- yeah, go see the doctor.

(at the doctor)

- well is it ok doctor?
- you need to take this long list of strong medicine and we'll see how it will go.
- but but but... friend of mine had the same thing, you just told him to wash it with soap!!!
- he had lipstick on his. you have mold on yours.

What is the name of the fatty tissue around vagina?
- Woman.

Quote from batteryy :

you want an apple?

yes please
Edit: Yea i really would like an apple, Apple=Woman=sex

What's pink and goes round and round and round?














Stephen Gately's suitcase at the airport.

Quote from batteryy :

apple = Vitamins
Vitamins = strength
strenght = power
power = money
money = women
women = Sex
Sex = AIDS
AIDS = death
death = hell



you want an apple?

if aids and hell stay away yes i want

@ Senninha25
That is so good


My joke:

How does a dumb blonde catch a mosquito?








She chases it on to the attic and than puls up the stairs

Why did the baker have brown hands?
Because he kneaded a poo.


Whats the only bee to produce milk?
The boobie

Found these on a website:

There are three girls going to a water park for the day. One is brunette, one is a redhead and the last is a blonde. When they get to the park, they see a Magic Wishing Slide. They decide to give it a go.

The brunette is the first to go down the slide. She yells 'Monneeeeeeeey!!!'. When she shoots out of the end of the slide, she lands in a pool of money.

The redhead is next. She slides down and
yells 'Chocccollate!!!'. When she shoots out of the end, she landed in a pool of chocolate.

The blonde slides down screaming 'WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!'. When she shoots out of the end, she lands in a pool of...

...
...
...
...



WEE!!!
______

A pilot is flying a small, single-engine, charter plane with a couple of really important executives on board into Seattle airport. There is fog so thick that visibility is 40 feet, and his instruments are out. He circles looking for a landmark and after an hour, he is low on fuel and his passengers are very nervous.

At last, through a small opening in the fog he sees a tall building with one guy working alone on the fifth floor. Circling, the pilot banks and shouts through his open window: "Hey, where am I?". The solitary office worker replies: "You're in an airplane.". The pilot immediately executes a swift 275 degree turn and executes a perfect blind landing on the airport's runway five miles away. Just as the plane stops, the engines cough and die from lack of fuel. The stunned passengers ask the pilot how he did it.

"Elementary," replies the pilot, "I asked the guy in that building a simple question. The answer he gave me was 100% correct but absolutely useless; therefore, I knew that must be Microsoft's support office and from there the airport is three minutes away on a course of 87 degrees."
________

How many Bill Gates’ does it take to change the light bulb?

None. He just calls a meeting & makes darkness the standard!
________
A cat died and went to heaven. When he arrived at the gate, an angel asked:
"Welcome to heaven. What can I get for you to make you happy today?"

The cat replied:
"Oh, I sure would love a nice, soft pillow!" And so, the angel gave him the pillow and called for the next person in line.

The next day, some mice were in line at the gate. The angel asked them the same question.

The mice replied:
"Ooh! Can we have some skateboards?!" And the angel gave them the skate boards.

A few hours later, God was strolling through his kingdom and came across the cat on his pillow.

"Good cat! How do you like heaven and your pillow?"

The cat smiled and replied:

"This place is great! The streets are gold, this is the softest pillow in the world! Thank you, God!"

God smiled and said:

"So you're really liking it?"

The cat said:

"Oh, I love it! And by the way, thanks for the meals on wheels you sent by earlier!

The Second one is just... EPIC

A small plane is hopelessly, hopelessly lost in fog.

"I've got an idea" says the pilot, and rolls down the window and sticks his arm out.
"We're over Paris." he declares, confidently.
"How can you tell?" asks his passenger.
"I've just touched the Eiffel Tower." he replies.
After a few minutes the fog parts and sure enough, they are right over Paris.

After a while the fog closes in again. The pilot rolls down the window and sticks his arm out.
"We're over London." he says.
"How can you tell?" asks his passenger.
"I've just touched Big Ben." he replies.
After a few minutes the fog parts and sure enough, they are right over London.

Again the fog closes in. The pilot rolls down the window and sticks his arm out.
"We're over Liverpool." he says.
"How can you tell?" asks his passenger.
"Someone's just stolen my watch."