Quote from danthebangerboy :

I very much doubt that i have a cat in hells chance TBH mate, and you know what? i dont blame her one little bit for not wanting me back now!

It's probably not fair to second guess what she wants either, I don't know Kirsty very well - well barely at all tbh - but if there's one thing I know about women it's that in a weeks time there's just no way of knowing what our hormones will tell us to do!

Quote :

This is the 2nd time i have done this (you'd have thought i would have learned after making this same mistake a few months ago, but no) i just havent been fair, i have been a twat, and now im paying the price.

I should say something supportive here, but yep, you hit the nail on the head. This time try to learn that decisions made with alchohol are invariably bad, but more importantly, decisions that effect your entire future should not be made on a whim - acting impulsively is what I do, leave it to the professionals .

Quote :

Its not right to mess her around coz whats to say that i wont feel trapped/bored/like i want to be on my own all over again further down the line, cant keep putting her thru that when i dont even know what i actually want myself for sure.

Now that's a different matter altogether. You've been with Kirsty what, 5 years is it now? And honestly what are you really bored of, the same person or the fact you're always broke so you settle into the routine of scraping through without really doing anything other than buy a micromeal a 4 pack and sit watching telly?

If I was your un-qualified doctor I would prescribe you one random frivillous thing every month - goto a concert or something other than hitting the gambling machines and getting wasted of a weekend. Because if there's one thing i've learned is you don't get bored of people - you get bored of what you share with any given person, and the way to fix that isn't to find new people but to find new things to share with the ones that you know - otherwise you just do the same with somebody else.

I agree with all of that becky, and you are right, i just seem ever so good at, well, f--king things up really, i think i am being a bit selfish TBH, but i realise this isn't a fair way to behave....

I know, that in my heart of hearts i do not wish to be with kirsty anymore, its run its course in all honesty, we broke up before, tried to save it when we got back together, things changed, we went different places, plus i no longer live with her (living in eachothers pockets was what ruined it before, lack of freedom) but even with all these changes i feel the same again now, as much as i love the girl, which i DO! i just cant see a future there for us anymore, and i really hate saying that because i wish so much that is wasnt true, but it is.

But then theres the guilt thing, i feel really bad for making her upset, plus (heres the selfish part) because i am so used to us being together as its been quite a while, 5 years as you say, i cant really do anything without it feeling abnormal, so then i think well why dont i just get back with her despite the feelings (that will undoubtadly resurface and this will happen again), i feel bad, and i miss her, so i talk myself into, yeah, get back together.

But, what do i actually miss, is it kirsty, or is it just, someone, anyone, because i am so used to having a partner, not having one doesnt feel right?

I know in my heart of hearts it can never work now, but i also feel scared of being on my own, which is (partly) why we got back together last time, and that isnt right, is it.

On my phone so excuse typos and lack of specific quoting.

It isn't right to be with someone just for the sake of it, then again I've never held a relationship down for over a year (in point of fact my longest relationship ended when she cheated on our anniversary) so maybe I'm not the right person to ask about lasting relationships!

But the way I see it you can do only so much to mend a broken thing before you have to replace it. I still love many of my exes, and always will, and take no shame from them always owning a small piece of my heart. I still make time for all but 1 (Hayley, who kept trying to **** me and I had to forceably remove her from me every time I saw her even months after we split) and one of my best friends is an ex (you can probably figure out who from the way we talk on facebook)... My point being - for those of us who havnt spent almost all of our adult life in 1 relationship - after a while exes become the best friend you can have, a confidant who knows you well and genuinely wants the best for you. When some time has passed I hope you will be able to see Kirsty in this way. If for no other reason than wihout you her DIY nightmares are going to get seriously out of hand!

It is hard adjusting to being alone, there is no doubt of this. After I broke up with Zee coming home to an empty house every night left me very depressed at the state of my own life, not so much becaus I missed Zee (I did I meen her body was fantastic and she's a lovely if somewhat niave girl) but I felt very lonely, and everyone seemed to be avoiding me (no wonder because I was bloody miserable). It took me some time to feel ok about myself again and as soon as I did I had that overdue holiday and now I'm back - feeling much more posiive and totally ok with being single. It took time, and it's going to take you time too. You don't heal 5 years in 5 days, but you will heal.

And you know, I've had more than a little interest in The Bexter since, but I'm in no rush. Not because I'm happy or because I preffer being single - far from it - but because I think i need to be truly happy before I can start a relationship and be a able to give enough of myself.

If you're not truly happy in yourself then a relationship is only going to excascerbate what you feel, because if you connect with someone when you are miserable then you establish a miserable connection.

So give yourself time, try not to drink too much, and you'll get there.

And feel free to call or pop over for a Jovoporn night.

Well put Becky, a lot of words in there that described my break up. The hardest part in the start is to coop beeing alone. Coming home from work.. alone.. making food ..alone..watching movie... alone Also the feeling about beeing completely ignored is something I experienced too, but that was my own fault in the end.

So in the end of the day, as she describes so much better, take your time - that's the only thing you can do. 1 day at a time. Try to think and do the things you enjoy in life, or just take long walks / training sessions. Everyone who have trained while beeing angry/sad know what I am speaking about, you'll go in on the center in wrong mood, going out in right mood.

Im not really that athletic really lol, but i have been mixing a lot of records recently, both on my classic 12/10's and using the PC with virtual dj pro, seems very weird to use, trying to control everything with a mouse, not too easy, especially as on my real decks i will be messing about with the crossfader and/or levels on the mixer with one hand, whilst making minor speed adjustments with the other hand, with my earphones on one ear so i can here whats happening before i start the mix, no such luck on VDJ, can only adjust or do one thing at a time as i need to click on whatever it is with the mouse and then adjust/move it, plus no 'other' channel in the headphones, just the 2 wave patterns of each track to line up by, unless i buy a gigaport which allows everything on VDJ to run through my real mixer, but they arent cheap, so it looks like i will keep practicing as i am!

I can post some old skool mixes up i did recently if you like, i await the copyright police of course, but im sure it'll be fine!

Quote from brandons48 :

Put them in their own thread, to avoid clogging up this one

Will do, i found the old skool one made in VDJ, shortened it to about 8 mins, 3 choons, 2 mixes, my web is so slow anything big to upload just takes a silly amount of time, upload speed of about 15kbps if that, and yes i do mean kilabytes, not bits, it really is that bad!

I cant find the new skool hardcore one i did on VDJ on here tho, looks like ill have to do it again, oh well!

Quote from brandons48 :

Agree with Tor here, dealing with the alone, nobody loves me feeling is the hardest bit. You just have to find something to occupy your mind, like training as Tor said.

I never felt like that in my life. Somebody always loves me. That's why I can be hated on here and not give a flying banana about it.


Tip 1 : Always pick someone in a lower league, you can always grow to love a person. There's no point picking someone that looks so hot you doubt that it will last. Maybe try dating that old friend that you always put off dating because she was a bit too full on, or a bit fugly. So long as they aren't super obsessed then it doesn't matter. I've dated girls that have been above my belt and you are always left feeling that they aren't enjoying themselves. But when you get someone who is a bit lower game, you know they are there every time and you will grow to love them because of that. Don't just ditch a girl cos she don't look like Uma Thurman (or whatever turns your crank). You can make anyone into the person you want. You just have to change yourself in return.


Being adored is the best thing ever. Getting told you are handsome all the time never wears off (though I always got it when I was single anyway). So instead of picking the 'hot' girl. Always pick the 'nice' girl.


But remember, it doesn't matter HOW obsessed the girl is with you, you can ALWAYS do something wrong, and you can ALWAYS upset a women.

I am sorry, but that is complete bollocks. Basically, what you are saying is, "Go out with the boring girls..." which is just simply stupid...

One thing especially caught my eye.

Quote :

But when you get someone who is a bit lower game, you know they are there every time and you will grow to love them because of that

Please re-read that yourself. Dont know about you guys, but that sounds pathetic to me. You are using someone "lower" to your own advantage...
Going out with a socially akward girl just so you can feel that she is always there and enjoys it? Wow... Thats just, ehm... low...

Who said the good looking girls are always hard to chat to and have a good time with? Pro tip, if you cannot talk to a girl, she is not right for you. If the girl is meant for you, you will be able to talk to her about anything from the first date... And when I mean anything, I really do mean anything. Be it serious topics or complete nonsense, you will both find it easy and fun. If you dont, move on because that relationship is going nowhere.

Not wanting to show boat or whatever, but my ex was gorgeous. Having said that, she was also extremely easy to communicate with, extremely easy to spend time with her, and she always enjoyed it... Even if something I came up to do was a bit dull. Why? Well because she freaking loved me (Or so I hope...). If you love the person, you will love and adore every moment spent with him.

The reason we broke up is me. I was too thick to see I was not giving her enough attention. To put it better, I was a dick. Simple as.

Guys are always fast at judging girls and saying how they are the ones to blame for everything...

Where am I going with this post. Well, take Becky's advice. Relax and spend some time on you own. It will be hard, and as Tor said it will be very depressing. Doing things on your own will be hard but you have to get through it. Running back to her because you miss someone to lean on would be very selfish in my opinion. If you dont love her anymore, forget her. Stop hurting her and yourself. Its hard, but thats life.

You know the good ol' saying. No one dies a virgin, life ****s us all.

Quote from DevilDare :

Please re-read that yourself. Dont know about you guys, but that sounds pathetic to me. You are using someone "lower" to your own advantage...
Going out with a socially akward girl just so you can feel that she is always there and enjoys it? Wow... Thats just, ehm... low...

Who said the good looking girls are always hard to chat to and have a good time with? Pro tip, if you cannot talk to a girl, she is not right for you. If the girl is meant for you, you will be able to talk to her about anything from the first date... And when I mean anything, I really do mean anything. Be it serious topics or complete nonsense, you will both find it easy and fun. If you dont, move on because that relationship is going nowhere.

Not wanting to show boat or whatever, but my ex was gorgeous. Having said that, she was also extremely easy to communicate with, extremely easy to spend time with her, and she always enjoyed it... Even if something I came up to do was a bit dull. Why? Well because she freaking loved me (Or so I hope...). If you love the person, you will love and adore every moment spent with him.

The reason we broke up is me. I was too thick to see I was not giving her enough attention. To put it better, I was a dick. Simple as.

So if she was so awesome and every thing then why did you not pay her enough attention? Sounds like you're making it up. I doubt a Lith could get laid in England unless she was a Lith too.

If you try what I recommend (thought I don't know why you use the words "socially awkward) you would have a girl there every night in your bed. Who genuinely loves you, all you have to do is work yourself to love them back, obviously not alot of people will change for a girl, I don't have to change anything about me, 80% of girls like me as me, and I don't change and won't change. The other 20% are lesbians and those type of girls that only go out with guys that have extreme ammounts of piercings or tattoos, and that kind of thing.

The best possible position to be in, is the position where it's all down to you, non of it is down to chance, or somebody else, you make the decision. It's not a case of making the decision, getting married and then after 3 years she changes her mind one day or starts seeing another guy.

I know it sounds like weak game, but it makes sense. The girls that are not as hot initially tend to be alot smarter than most other girls, so you can use it to your advantage. Instead of chasing the hard-to-get girls. Go for the lower league girl who is easy to get. That way you can always wake up in the morning satisfied.


Protip to Devil"naiivity"Dare : Any girl is the right one, for as long as SHE wants it to be. Unless you find one that is lower game.

So any girl (20% of female populace) who won't sleep with you is a tattoo wielding pierced lesbian?

Your words make you the ugliest person in this thread, and I don't do lower game.. (then again I'm a tattoo wielding lebian).

Once you've been in a relationship you'll find you are incompatible with certain types of women/men/inanimate objects.

For instance I'm quite an astute person, brains the size of an elephants scrotum. Can't help myself, was born like it. Thick girls drive me nuts - because I can't explain stuff, can't have a conversation unless I dumb it down, have to explain my jokes. I'll run rings around her mentally and not even meen too. And it's not like shell appreciate me more because I'm 'higher game' mentally because she lacks the undertanding to realise how intelligent I am.

Dating 'lower game' as you put it, is about the stupidist and unfulfilling thing you can do.

Quote from Becky Rose :

So any girl (20% of female populace) who won't sleep with you is a tattoo wielding pierced lesbian?

Your words make you the ugliest person in this thread, and I don't do lower game.. (then again I'm a tattoo wielding lebian).

Once you've been in a relationship you'll find you are incompatible with certain types of women/men/inanimate objects.

For instance I'm quite an astute person, brains the size of an elephants scrotum. Can't help myself, was born like it. Thick girls drive me nuts - because I can't explain stuff, can't have a conversation unless I dumb it down, have to explain my jokes. I'll run rings around her mentally and not even meen too. And it's not like shell appreciate me more because I'm 'higher game' mentally because she lacks the undertanding to realise how intelligent I am.

Dating 'lower game' as you put it, is about the stupidist and unfulfilling thing you can do.

No, I said 20% are either lesbians, OR people who only like guys with tattoos etc.

lower game doesn't mean completely stupid or ugly, it just means someone that has been with alot less partners than you have.

Some may call me manipulative, but I am happy, and so is my wife. I didn't love her in the beginning, but I sure as hell do now because she geniunely loved me from the beginning even though I didn't, and I considered not dating her because I didn't feel the same way. You can grow to love anyone. I could of gone with any other girl, but think about it, why chase that hard 'special someone' when there is always that person that you get on with massively but can never bring yourself to date.

Quote from Becky Rose :

a tattoo wielding lebian

Somehow that reminds me of the generated descriptions of planets in Elite:

Leb is most famous for the holographic tattoo wielding Lebian goat and its hoopy casinos.

Quote from BlueFlame :

So if she was so awesome and every thing then why did you not pay her enough attention? Sounds like you're making it up. I doubt a Lith could get laid in England unless she was a Lith too.

If you try what I recommend (thought I don't know why you use the words "socially awkward) you would have a girl there every night in your bed. Who genuinely loves you, all you have to do is work yourself to love them back, obviously not alot of people will change for a girl, I don't have to change anything about me, 80% of girls like me as me, and I don't change and won't change. The other 20% are lesbians and those type of girls that only go out with guys that have extreme ammounts of piercings or tattoos, and that kind of thing.

The best possible position to be in, is the position where it's all down to you, non of it is down to chance, or somebody else, you make the decision. It's not a case of making the decision, getting married and then after 3 years she changes her mind one day or starts seeing another guy.

I know it sounds like weak game, but it makes sense. The girls that are not as hot initially tend to be alot smarter than most other girls, so you can use it to your advantage. Instead of chasing the hard-to-get girls. Go for the lower league girl who is easy to get. That way you can always wake up in the morning satisfied.


Protip to Devil"naiivity"Dare : Any girl is the right one, for as long as SHE wants it to be. Unless you find one that is lower game.

Yes she was Lithuanian if that matters.

Well thats exactly what I am saying! We are always quick to judge girls for not being good around us and that they are not enjoyable unless from a "lower" status. My girl was great, I wasnt. How hard is it to understand?

Changing my self to love someone who I genuienly dont like, just so I could drag her into bed with me? Thats a no no for me. Sorry Blueflame, I dont take girls for toys... Fine with me if you do, but I like the ones who actually know whats going on...

And who said I have to change? I dont. People like me as I am. I am a fun active guy, who loves his friends and loves going out with them. Yes sometimes I am very opinionated, but thats what makes me! I am not going to change and pretend to be someone I am not just so everyone in the world likes me. There are girls that like me, and girls that dont. Be it of the "lower" group or the "higher" one. And vice versa, there are girls that I like and girls that I dont.

Its funny that you say that the ones from the "lower" group are always better. I have lost count of how many girls I have met who are so full of themselves they think they are the next Victoria Secret models. And you know whats funny? They are always bloody fugly. Not trying to be mean or anything, we are as we are, but just saying that your "solution" of going "lower" isnt exactly the best.

Like I have said, if the girl is right for you, you will not have any problems being with her and enjoying your time. Doesnt matter if she is a bit akward, or the hottest girl in town, you will always find that connection. And if you dont, move on.

I personally dont believe in "growing" onto something. Especially girls. But ey, if it worked for you than I am happy to hear! Just remember that its not something everyone will be able to do, and not something everyone will actually enjoy doing.

And sweet... Just got into another argument...

Quote from BlueFlame :

why chase that hard 'special someone' when there is always that person that you get on with massively but can never bring yourself to date.

because it is more exiting than just faking your love to a '' lower '' game woman....

i've made the ballsiest move in my life and i've asked out the smartest girl in my class... yes she is hot for me, even a bit too much for what i deserve and right now it is starting to pay off... she is starting to love me for who i am and not for who she wants me to be... the relationship could go further but she's going back to Bulgaria for the whole summer, and she told me '' dont worry, you'll have fun without me, you'll meet new ppl, etc... '' and that wasnt the thing i wanted to hear from her 1 week away from the day she's leaving... especially when theres a party the same night she said that.... imagine what i did? i drunk the shit out of me, finished puking my guts out... and she was there, she saw me in the state of pain that i was in because of what she said.. only then she understood how much she meant for me....

so blueflame, dating a '' lower '' game woman just to take her to the bed.... shame on you...

i dont know if some of you will be with me on this one, but the '' higher '' game ones are the ones who give you a reason to do all the effort to make them love you..

im with you on that

yeah, i know... that is what i am doing with the one i talked of on the post above... im not showing off or something, im just being myself... and it does work...

Ok thought I'd voice my opinion whether it's valid or not, I've been out with a few girls, and IMHO the less 'attractive' girls are the more loving and caring ones, I've been out with girls that are considered 'fit' and they are really self obsessed and vein etc, I admit I have been vein at times, but never shallow, I'm no relationship guru (atm I'm single) but you really really need trust, and anyway, If you happen to be in a relationship with a girl that's considered less attractive who cares? as long as you are happy with that person then nothing else matters, the girls that act like princesses and think life is a fairy tale and go around being shallow etc are not even worth a second look and I don't give them the satisfaction of looking at them and giving them the attention they are craving, I consider myself a average looking guy, but personality goes a long way with girls, and there are nice girls out there, but most of them are taken, and there is a girl for EVERY guy no matter who you are (unless your homosexual ) but yeah, this year I met a really nice girl, kind etc, she just randomly came up to me outside college and started talking etc about what course I was on, I actually couldn't believe it because she is stunning, but I would never go out with her just because of that, we're just friends and that's how it will always be, so yeah like I said, if you find a girl you like and enjoy spending time with it don't matter about looks whatsoever, hopefully my grammar etc wasn't too bad and it isn't too boring to read

@ AMB

in average your right I guess. But there are certain exceptions to your rule, I sort of went along with a girl that fits your 'less attractive' style for almost half a year, with her constantly backing of from anything to intimate, to find out she did the same parallel with another guy and in the end went for him. I guess I could have figured that out before, but I always take a little too much time to make the final moves out of the so called friendszone .

On the other hand some of the very attractive but loving ones constantly end up with douchebags, confessing thier undying love on facebook and the like till those dudes fornicate with some random female after only 2 weeks.

Quote from ACCAkut :

On the other hand some of the very attractive but loving ones constantly end up with douchebags, confessing thier undying love on facebook and the like till those dudes fornicate with some random female after only 2 weeks.

I agree 100%, I see nice girls end up with idiots, It's like they like 'bad boys' but these guys that basically treat them like crap end up with them still, I guess it's true what they say, nice guys finish last....

If that's the saying lol...

But not all girls are like that, I mean if they want guys like that then maybe they deserve to be treated like rubbish because they only have themselves to blame, It's different if she gets with a guy thinking he's a nice person etc, but someone getting with a person knowing full well that he's a twat and she still does it, then they deserve it.

I love her allot!!

äh, Post your car thread is second to last in Offtopic

Quote from ACCAkut :

äh, Post your car thread is second to last in Offtopic

that famous German sense of humour

Sorry to take the convo back a few posts, but im gonna do it anyway!

For me, social background, class, upbringing etc, means precisely f--k all to me TBH, all thats important to me is that we have a mutual attraction and the girl is a nice girl, nice to be around, to spend time with, someone i can talk to, tell anything to, and just generally get on with, looks arent a major point for me, obviously if she's 400lbs with a more impressive beard than i can grow then no, but looks do play a part, i dont tend to go for smokin hot girls tho, i go for cute ones, there is a difference.

What i HATE, is those girls who are hot but act like an idiot because she knows how hot she is and plays on it, loves the attention, or is either a total airhead with no brain at all, all show and no go as i like to say, or has a nasty personality in general despite being a stunner, ehh, no, not my thing.

but those girls are just for 1 thing only..