If you as a woman would stay miserable for days or decades to come, after being raped by your boyfriend, it would be your choice. I guess it depends if you do that alone.
It could hurt a while, but what are you gonna do about it? Feel sorry for yourself an eternity?
"Yeah.. I said him I had a headache and he didn`t care" gotta be a crack-whore to want to get over it, and actually do it(or think you do). Sure.
Well it's the human prerogative to fragmentally recover from an incident like this, you won't get straight back into the game, you will recover as you begin to trust humans again. The same goes for anyone, if you get violated in any way, you will have to build up the trust all over again, and that doesn't happen over night, whoever you are.
You can say that about murder. Of course it depends on the person but the majority of the people in the world know right from WRONG.
Why is it the current society refuses to generalize? It's not old fashioned, it's common bloody sense. Everyone is different, does that mean you can't say things like, button nose, or even put people into a category of eye colour? Because strictly nobody's eye colour or nose are the same..
They become numbed to the general emotion that sex is special and therefore only really enjoy it on a physical sense and not a mental one.
As children they were violated by people they weren't interested in, thus to an extent, this is all they ever know that sex is just sex and doesn't have to be with anyone special, it can just be with anyone.
People are too afraid to be different and look outside the box, I doesn't pay to be outlandish, but you sleep better at night knowing you believe in what you say, rather then just using falsities to rectify your life.
Yes.. because you're believing in a unified belief that:
if(RAPED == TRUE){
delay('sex','years of recovery');
}
When in reality, humans don't work that way, everyone reacts DIFFERENTLY.. where you believe that everyone should react directly according to that template.
I'm sorry blueflame, but your logic has holes bigger than swiss cheese.
I rarely read anything, and I dont really need a manual on picking up girls. I'm hardly the lesbian cassanova but I do ok
*sigh* somebody missed the point of Dustin posting it! He was hardly putting up a pic of his girlfriend was he? I meen, that's one way to confess to being a wanker I guess but that wasn't the case here... *rolls eyes*
Not obviously. You are wrong.
Whilst the emotional baggage can and frequently does take years to get over the act of sex is quite difference to the experience of rape. Sex is a pleasurable past time, it's nothing special, it's not magical, it's just something to do when the telly is crap.
Rape is loss of control & fear beyond the comprehension of anyone who hasnt literally found themselves begging for their life.
The experience is not even remotely similar to sex.
Once all sense of being able to have any influence over your own destiny is lost and you've accepted that you are utterly defeated, that there is nothing you can do to effect the situation - that whatever else happens there is literally nothing that will prevent what is beginning to happen from completing you then start wondering whether you are going to get out of this alive, you wonder what the hell you can do to at least get away from here afterwards and you realise that even then you have no power, no control, no influence. There is nothing you can do to prevent your violation or to prevent them from taking your life, you are not even worthy of being kept informed of what they will do to you - you are completely at the mercy of your attackers.
Eventually, a while after the attack, you reach a point beyond fear and pain. For a while at least all humanity is gone, you can feel nothing. The journey back from that place is one of the longest and hardest things a human being ever has to do, and sex has absolutely nothing at all to do with it.
Sex is passion, sex is hornyness, sex is 80 channels of bloody reality TV and not having the money to go out. Sex is about who you do it with, or what they do to you, or what you do to them, or that wicked new toy arriving in the post.
It has nothing to do with the caracteristics of rape, and anyone who thinks so really doesn't have a bloody clue what rape is and they should damn well shut the foxtrot up about a subject they clearly have no experience of.
Minimal experience hahahaha I'm not even going to justify that response, not like I have to or want to anyway, I'm don't want to seem like I'm boosting my ego.
Everyone reacts differently YES, but you have to use your OWN experience, and MY own experience sets me to assume they will respond in the way that I first mentioned, if they respond otherwise then so be it, but how can you get laid (with a normal girl) if you are pressuring her for sex after she has been 'raped'? You gotta wait it out, there's no point assuming she might act differently to almost all other women is there?
My assumption on this matter is a safety net. You can't go wrong with assuming that they will need time to get over it. My logic has no flaws. To a degree, it's easier to manipulate an outcome on a scenario when you don't manipulate it at all you use a premeditated assumption to give you a good gauge on what will happen. In this case, if for some deranged reason the girl wants sex after being raped then it's not like you have a problem is it? (Except the fact the girl is probably nuts).
@Becky : trust me, I'm not talking from inexperience, lets face it, men are c*nts, probably more than 50% of the female population have been raped, everyone knows somebody who has been sexually violated. It's not uncommon, therefore a great degree of perspective is easy to asertain.
nobody forced anyone to have sex after they were raped. try to keep to what is known about this case rather than pulling info from your arse.
*cough* bullshit *cough*
again, where is the evidence to confirm your findings? it's a fact you're a bullshit artist. now move along. nobody gives a shit about your opinion. just like your ass, it stinks.
i can see a flaw in your logic......it's bullshit.
There is no 'evidence' you people keep saying that everyone reacts differently, so you will never get 'evidence' on this type of debate, YOUR logic is bullshit!
if there's no evidence, then how are you able to produce figures like 99.9% of rape victims would not go looking for sex after being raped, the other 0.1% are crack whores? how are you (an man) able to speak for every raped woman on the planet? do you know many crack whores?
saying things like "Except the fact the girl is probably nuts" implies you have facts which means you have evidence. unless you made it up to try and make your point stronger. if so, i still call bullshit.
EDIT: it's not even a debate. it's a discussion. listen bud, if you're going to use english as your meathod of communication, at least get it ****ing right.
you don't know what a conversation is nor do you know what a debate is. you're on fire today kid.
ah, try to take it to a personal level(what's wrong? did the Ireland comment not get the desired results?). stange how i have to be stoned to be able to talk to you on your level. says alot about you doesn't it dumbass. what has me smoking pot have to do with this thread? unless your just trying to take your usual bitchy swipe so that you feel you can make a fair point.
maybe you should smoke some pot. then you wouldn't be such a prick all the time.
you really are clutching at straws if that's all you've got. don't you think?
"Ireland is on cloud 9", "you're a stoner". wow, you've really cut me deep
we have a name for people like you in Ireland. they're called retards.
what's next from you "well, yer. your mum!" whinny little bitch.
That's the first time you've quoted a figure that is actually close to the truth.
I wouldn't say "men" are necessarily that bad, it's not that all men or even 50% of men go around comitting rape, there are a lot of bad people in the world and some of them are women too - it's just that some of the bad men are predators on women because women are generally less able to defend themselves.
That's why i'm tough as nails, because no ****er is taking me again - and yes I actually would not stop at killing to prevent it, i'm prepared to cross the line. In that sense you could say I never got over what happened to me but that's not the case. I'm over any issues I had with it but i'm also evolved as a person, and i've had plenty of other evolving experiences in my life too, it's just part of getting older.
What does more damage, in my view, isn't necessarily the rape itself. In the majority of cases a victim knows their attacker. You'll forgive me for not going into too many details of my own experience when it comes to details and specifics, but from the women I know when we've talked about this stuff - the biggest long term hangups are usually stemmed from that.
You can't put a time limit on recovery, especially when different aspects within each person are dealt with in a different way, in a different order, with different conclusions and so on.
My personal view is that rape is the worst crime in a civilised society, hense the having no qualms about what i'm prepared to do in an effort to try and defend myself.
That being said, i'd have had no problems with sleeping with the girl I was in infatuation with at the time within days of what happened to me. Sadly she wasn't interested in me and I had to wait a damned long time until I wasn't way too whacked out on drugs to be an attractive proposition to anyone.
So I guess in some ways you could say I wasn't ready to sleep with anyone for a few years, but only because I was a useless junkie. It's not that rape drove me to drugs as I took them before but afterwards I took them in quantities that would make your jaw drop. Consequently I wasn't getting any! But that was all more side effect.
I don't connect rape with sex and I didn't back then either: Think of it this way, if you had never had sex but had been raped would you be a virgin? I would argue yes.
Come to think of it i'm not getting much at the moment either, although I did get my ass groped a few times at Cambridge Pride today, which was nice
I'd like to see the look of your partners face (if you ever get one) when they realise that you were telling them lies ; that this <---------> was 6 inches. No wonder she had so many parking wrecks.
). Sure.
