I don't go chasing after girls that my mates are interested in, i have this thing called respect for my friends.

Quote from Klutch :

read up

shes one of my closest friends, not some random

theres no reason she would "play" me, she can get sex from me any time she wants, she gets both the emotional and physical side to our friendship.

Except, she is playing you, otherwise she wouldn't keep you hanging on with "yes I have a boyfriend so nothing can happen but maybe you will have a chance".

Otherwise you might just give up giving her the attention she wants...

Quote from Klutch :

She hides that side of her because shes worried it will scare him away. Does that seem like a great relationship to you? If anything i'll be doing the guy a favour.

That sounds like *every* relationship to me... nobody ever tells their partner every dark and twisted secret straight away

inb4 - "she told me" - you said you've been friends for years. My point was when you meant ANY new person you dont just jump in their with your skeletons.

If you think you can "steal" her away then go for it... if someone did that to me i'd be pissed, but at the same time if it's possible to steal a partner they couldn't of been happy in the relationship anyway

Related - 3 years with Ellie today.

+1 with Jack.

Quote from Klutch :

This guy has no idea to the full extent of her issues.
I understand and accept her for who she is.
She hides that side of her because shes worried it will scare him away. Does that seem like a great relationship to you? If anything i'll be doing the guy a favour.

Does my girlfriend know any of the corners of darkness I got stuck in over the years? No...if she asked and wanted to know then I would explain that however there's a difference between lying to someone and then not telling them things for everyones sake. I don't want to hurt her by going "HEY I'M A MANIC DEPRESSIVE" (being a bit dramatic there but it's just making a point) which would probably make her worry more about me etc and put extra weight on her.

Quote :

Considering this guy used to be my "friend" before he went chasing her. I think its fair game.

Mate, come on. From what I understand you've never actually been with her and just been awkward friends. Therefore she is entitled to date and court anyone she wants. Just because your friend means something to her that you, clearly, at this point in time, do not, that attitude is childish, selfish and immature. Sorry but that's the troof.

Quote from Jakg :

Related - 3 years with Ellie today.

Time for me to move in for the kill.

Quote from Klutch :

Over time i matured a little and learnt to deal with her, and how to read her. As she can be a little unpredictable with her issues.
As of lately, we havent had one single fight, shes seen ive matured, and shes seeing me in a different light again. But this is where its complicated...because shes with someone.

We know more about each other than anyone else does. We know each and every dark, little, terrible secret.

I've been interested in people before and have had girlfriends, but no one has ever made me feel like this. As much as she stresses me out with her issues, it feels so worth it knowing the next morning she'll be smiling.

Quote from Klutch :

just going to try not to get my hopes up. been into this girl for way too long..and its always been a cat and mouse type game, and now the feeling is mutual shes with someone else.... blah!

^^^^^^^

You just summed up my life right there!

Cmon Klutch seriously, lighten the fack up and let her go.

Quote from S14 DRIFT :

Mate, come on. From what I understand you've never actually been with her and just been awkward friends.

Awkward friends? Not really, we're quite comfortable with each other.

Define "Been" with her... because i did have a thing going on in late 08 before she started to push me away

Quote from S14 DRIFT :

Therefore she is entitled to date and court anyone she wants.

I never said she wasn't. The issue isn't with her, its with my so called "friend"
I've never chased a friends interest, because to me, thats extremely disrespectful.

Quote from S14 DRIFT :

Just because your friend means something to her that you, clearly, at this point in time, do not, that attitude is childish, selfish and immature. Sorry but that's the troof.

I do mean something to her, but she just feels trapped in her current relationship.

Quote from Klutch :

I do mean something to her, but she just feels trapped in her current relationship.

oh god, i've heard that before... just leave it be, if she wanted you bad enough, she'd do what she needs to do.

well not this week, but the week after im going back down to hers for a few days
so well see what happens lol

Quote from Klutch :

Awkward friends? Not really, we're quite comfortable with each other.

That's why you have awkward conversations on MSN where she has to log off mid way through.

Quote :

Define "Been" with her... because i did have a thing going on in late 08 before she started to push me away

Had a proper relationship. And if you WERE going out with her (define thing...) and then broke up, then if she goes out with one of your friends that's her choice and if you were a mature person you wouldn't take it out against your friend or her in any way in the present or in the future.

Quote :

I never said she wasn't. The issue isn't with her, its with my so called "friend"
I've never chased a friends interest, because to me, thats extremely disrespectful.

So by doing what you're proposing to do, you're being disrespectful. Nice one! Your friend can date anyone he wants as well, as long as they're not with someone else. She wasn't with you when she started dating him, so just let it go.

Quote :

I do mean something to her, but she just feels trapped in her current relationship.

Your words or hers? Women will say alot of things to make you think that they want to be with you but it's just their motherly nature trying to not hurt your itty bitty feelings.

Quote from S14 DRIFT :

That's why you have awkward conversations on MSN where she has to log off mid way through.

She didn't log off mid way through, we had finished our conversation? She went to sleep at 12am because she had to be up at work at 5:30am
Please don't instantly presume shit when you have no idea what the **** you're talking about.

Quote from S14 DRIFT :

Your words or hers? Women will say alot of things to make you think that they want to be with you but it's just their motherly nature trying to not hurt your itty bitty feelings.

Her words.


Well i kind of put her on the spot today anyway, told her that the balls in her court and its her decision, and that i'll respect that decison no matter what it is.

Shes just told him that she'd been sleeping with someone else
so...we'll see what happens.

Seeing all this worrying and work you are going through makes me wonder... Either she is worth it to you, or you are really stupid.

The best friend > relationship thing can be very tricky. Not every situation is the same, but most of the time it doesn't end that well. I've went through two, one relationship went for 2 years, one went no where and we stayed best friends (and still currently are).

If she knew she wanted to be in a relationship with you, she'd drop the other dude for you. That's if she is for sure. Right now something is holding her back from that. It could be either her not wanting to lose you as a best friend, or it could be her thinking of a flaw you might have and how it could affect your relationship.

Only thing you can do (which I think you just did) is to just tell her straight, and see her response. Whatever her response is, is the answer to your question. There is no middle, and if there is, just drop the whole situation. There is no need to just confuse yourself over it all.


omgklutchhazfeelinz

I usually have a strict "Don't tolerate peoples shit" policy, but i think shes worth it.

But thats the thing, whenever we're together, we don't act like best friends, we act more like boyfriend/girlfriend and are very.. intimate? for the lack of a better word, its a weird friendship, but its something we're BOTH okay with.

I can understand why she doesn't want to just drop a 1 year relationship for me, and i completely understand that, which is why im not pressuring her or trying to influence her to make a decision. Im letting her decide what she wishes to do, i dont want her to be with me if shes uncomfortable in any way, because its not going to work. I want to make sure that she feels shes made the right decision, by HERSELF.

Its a weird situation that i've never been in before, so im not quite sure how to react and what to do...so im hoping im doing the right things..>_<

Quote from Klutch :

...so im hoping im doing the right things..>_<

You'll do some right, some wrong. 'Tis the way of the world.

Good luck with it, mate.

She just broke up with him, and we're going to take it slow.


WIN FOR KLUTCHY!

Quote from Klutch :

She just broke up with him, and we're going to take it slow.


WIN FOR KLUTCHY!

I followed everything in the last posts and to be honest, I don't think it is going to work out. I had the same with my ex. Yes EX, so you can see it went wrong . She also said 'take it slow', well.. I became fed up with 'slow' because 'SLOW' meant 'watch out, you are driving on ice with your car on summer tires with no profile and so you don't make any progress.. but! I still love you'. So that did it.. I sense the same at your .. thingie klutch. I don't mean to discourage you or anything but please think about it and be honest with yourself. I thought I had her too, but I didn't (well, not yours obviously but mine ).

I do wish you the best of luck of course, but I don't like to see women "play" men (and the other way around naturally).

Quote from mamoru :

She also said 'take it slow', well.. I became fed up with 'slow' because 'SLOW' meant 'watch out, you are driving on ice with your car on summer tires with no profile and so you don't make any progress.. but! I still love you'.

Its kind of stupid saying to "take it slow" when we were ****ing before we even got together though

tbh i think itll work out, theres only one way to find out =)

Quote from Klutch :

Its kind of stupid saying to "take it slow" when we were ****ing before we even got together though

tbh i think itll work out, theres only one way to find out =)

Indeed. I agree with both statements. Good luck

wait... so klutch is a women or men ? i read somewhere a while ago that klutch is a girl.now they had sex.. wtf is going on here?

-_-

im a guy

Good luck Klutch.

@e2mustang: LOL

Good luck, mate. Hopefully things work out for ya Klutch.

Good luck to my fellow raver from the other side of the globe!

The whole situation you describe with this girl is scarily similar to the one i am in at the moment, even down to the she left him part, which happened yesterday morning, but by the afternoon they had talked things out and agreed to give it another go, hopefully my luck will swing round soon and i will be where you are now.

Quote from Klutch :

She just broke up with him, and we're going to take it slow.


WIN FOR KLUTCHY!

Cool, so in 6 months (or less) she will do exactly the same to you.

LOOSE FOR KLUTCHY!

How very cynical mr drift!

All joking aside tho, i fully believe that if you find that 'right' person then once you end up together for whatever reasons you both will know its right and it can be the best relationship ever that can stand the test of time, and i know that if me and my girl can get together then thats how it will be with us, it could be so good, i know her so well already, as klutch said about his girl earlier, i know every little deepest and darkest secret, i and i would dare say that nobody else really knows her as well as i do.

im just praying that we end up together one day, hopefully sooner rather than later too, as unlike in the films, i never get the girl in the end, this could be the exception maybe, i hope!!