Quote from BlueFlame :

Dude, you gotta tell people how you feel... so say she ditched her current bf for his best friend, better sooner than later. You gotta tell the girl how much you want it, if you love someone that much, you don't care about other people, you only care about the lover and the love'e. That's what real love is.

Precisely, pretty much how i was going to respond to devildares post.

I know its not really the right thing to do, and i never set out to fall for my mates GF and i do feel bad for doing so, because he is a good friend of mine, but if you fall in love with someone, theres nothing you or anyone else can say or do to stop it, it just happens, once you start falling, everything else goes out the window.

I just had to, rightly or wrongly, let her know, and now i have, i do feel like shite because she is all i really wanted and the outcome wasn't really what i was hoping for, but at the same time i strangely feel a little bit better in a way because im not carrying this around on my own anymore thinking does she feel the same or not, because she knows now, we know where we stand with eachother now.

I know people would say well sort of friend are you supposed to be if you were gonna steel his girlfriend, but just throw love in the mix and its not as simple as that, not at all, and would i feel guilty if we had got together, i would have felt bad for him, yes, but guilty, no.

...and besides, what right does a friend have to deny you of love?

Quote from Becky Rose :

...and besides, what right does a friend have to deny you of love?

This is precisely the viewpoint i had taken on it, if we ever had a chance then i would never have known if i hadn't said anything, plus if it had worked out as i was hoping, then losing a friend would have been quite a big thing, but given the extent of my feelings about her, it would have almost been trivial in the same breath.

Quote from Becky Rose :

...and besides, what right does a friend have to deny you of love?

And what right would you have to deny them and prevent from loving each other?

I wasn't trying to deny anybody of anything mr.dare, i was simply being honest with her, and honest with myself, plus if all it had taken was me declaring my feelings to make her jump ship from her current relationship then surely that would have proven (if it had happened) that she wasnt truly happy with him, because if she was (or is) then she wouldnt (didnt) leave?

Uhm... But if she isnt happy with him, then surely she doesnt need your permission to leave him?

They are still together. That screams to me, "we are in love with each other and are happy the way it is".

Maybe its just me then...

I never mentioned permission my friend.

And you are correct, thats precisely what i am saying, looks like she is happy with him, because she didnt leave him for me, thats kinda my whole point.

I'm sorry thats just dumb.

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looks like she is happy with him, because she didnt leave him for me

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then surely she doesnt need your permission to leave him?

Basically, according to this, women/girls cannot leave their current boyfriends if they do not have a immediate replacement.

My point is, if she was unhappy with him she would of left him already and wouldnt have waited for you to come riding on a white horse to rescue her.

Damn it.. you mean I rented this horse for nothing?!

Well... If you want to make a quick buck online.... There are some sick people out there...

Quote from DevilDare :

I'm sorry thats just dumb.





Basically, according to this, women/girls cannot leave their current boyfriends if they do not have a immediate replacement.

My point is, if she was unhappy with him she would of left him already and wouldnt have waited for you to come riding on a white horse to rescue her.

I never suggested that at all, and never for one moment suggested that she needed 'rescuing' at any point in this thread, was merely stating what took place, i never said she would have needed anyone else to step and give 'permission' for her leave him, although i have known that to be the case numerous times in the past with various circles of friends, people stay with other people sometimes simply because its easiest thing to do, and another person can come along which can make them see the light so to speak, although i never suggested that in my previous posts.

Why are reading overly into things and coming up with suggestions that i never even wrote??

OH MY GOD THAT WAS THE WORST ATTEMPT AT PUN EVER DEVIL DARE...HORSE...BUCK...AHAHAH..no? Maybe just me then.

And seriously, sorry to butt in, as it were, but I think you're being a little harsh on Dannyboy here...you'd be surprised how many people are in relationships they aren't happy with...but they may not break up for various reasons...fear of being alone, insecurity - both emotionally and financially perhaps, feeling of guilt, there are many valid reasons...

Even if this woman wasn't entirely happy with her boyfriend, she still may have stayed with him (despite Dan's best efforts!!!) because she didn't want to leave him just because someone else came along. You're looking at this whole situation quite single mindedly.

Anyway, I've been lurking moar on this one and sorry Dan, but to be honest how guilty would you have felt if this girl had of left your mate for you? Plus how dead, perhaps...you never know some people. Plus she's right in thinking that you would be thinking she would do the same again to you.

And I won't bitch at you like I did at Klutch for doing the same, I think you're more mentally mature than Klutch, (let's face it, doesn't take much...I guess LSD can really screw your h34d uP!! m4n!11!11!!!?? :really so can perhaps understand everything a little better - It's still a bit cheeky to do this to a girl in a relationship with your best mate!! Or any friend for that matter.

Ah well, I'm sure you could go pick some chick up easily Mr Lover Lover. Want some chat up lines? I have so many awesome ones..

Quote from Devil Dare :

I'm sorry thats just dumb.





Basically, according to this, women/girls cannot leave their current boyfriends if they do not have a immediate replacement.

My point is, if she was unhappy with him she would of left him already and wouldnt have waited for you to come riding on a white horse to rescue her.

Quote from 91mason91 :

You wouldn't know love even if it came up and raped you. Dan made very valid points, some of which i envy him for.

+1 and many lol's.

Quote from DevilDare :

I'm sorry thats just dumb.





Basically, according to this, women/girls cannot leave their current boyfriends if they do not have a immediate replacement.

My point is, if she was unhappy with him she would of left him already and wouldnt have waited for you to come riding on a white horse to rescue her.

You wouldn't know love even if it came up and raped you. Dan made very valid points, some of which i envy him for.

Quote from 91mason91 :

Dan made very valid points, some of which i envy him for.

Expand?

Because I dont see any valid points. Anywhere.

And Dan, you wouldnt like it if some guy came and stole your girl from you, would you? All the, "but I love her!!" excuses coming from the guy would just bounce off you.

And to be honest your, "Some choose to stay because its easier" reason is complete, utter bullshit. Either that or she is very immature and doesnt give 2 ****s about good quality of life.

Quote from DevilDare :

Expand?

Because I dont see any valid points. Anywhere.

1. Expressing emotions to the girl - Takes balls to do that, i know i certainly couldn't.
2. Making sure he knew where he was with her.
3. Trying to get the dream girl despite her current relationship. - Again i tend to leave them to it and try not interfere with the relationship, more like trying to bestest friend i can be.

Any further points you need simplified for you?

Quote from 91mason91 :

1. Expressing emotions to the girl - Takes balls to do that, i know i certainly couldn't.

So what? Because it takes balls its suddenly ok? Yeah, its not something I can do either, but if I did I dont think I would go after already taken girls who are happy with their other sides.

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2. Making sure he knew where he was with her.

For what?

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3. Trying to get the dream girl despite her current relationship. - Again i tend to leave them to it and try not interfere with the relationship, more like trying to bestest friend i can be.

You envy him for that?

Well for petes sake, I must have over slept the part when it suddenly became all cool to breakup people and try to interfere with their lives. Let alone, when the couple is one of your BEST friends.

The fact that you also said you wouldnt feel guilt makes me think you dont know what a real friend is and I am quite a bit younger...

Quote from DevilDare :

Expand?

Because I dont see any valid points. Anywhere.

And Dan, you wouldnt like it if some guy came and stole your girl from you, would you? All the, "but I love her!!" excuses coming from the guy would just bounce off you.

And to be honest your, "Some choose to stay because its easier" reason is complete, utter bullshit. Either that or she is very immature and doesnt give 2 ****s about good quality of life.

DP..

If a friend did try to take her away from me and succeeded then no i wouldn't like it but if she left that easily then it's obvious she doesn't love as much as she does your friend. It's almost like a test of trust, she leaves then she can't be trusted, she stays then is a very trustworthy person.

Quote from DevilDare :

So what? Because it takes balls its suddenly ok? Yeah, its not something I can do either, but if I did I dont think I would go after already taken girls who are happy with their other sides.

Just because it takes guts doesn't mean it's OK, but in so many occasions you don't know if a girl is with a guy... In this case Dan knew but it was different...he was mature enough to go about it in a nice way.

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For what?

Making sure he knew where he was with her...so they both understand how they feel and where their relationship(?) is going.

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You envy him for that?

Well for petes sake, I must have over slept the part when it suddenly became all cool to breakup people and try to interfere with their lives. Let alone, when the couple is one of your BEST friends.

Who is this pete guy anyway? And yeah, it is not nice to "mess up" and interefere with peoples lives but as Mason said if a girl was to leave you then she couldn't have cared about you much in the first place...in some ways it would be a godsend, at least in the long run.

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I am quite a bit younger...

And it shows. Don't wish to sound "ageist" but you probably don't have enough experience in this sort of area...

Clearly not then.

My 2 year relationship then didnt teach me anything. I dont think I want to get older now either...

time to unsubscribe

Quote from DevilDare :

Clearly not then.

Finally, something we totally agree on!

In all seriousness tho, if you can sit there and say that if you were in this situation, you would say and do exactly as your holier than thou posting style with regard to never ever betraying anyone, don't rock the boat etc, and you honestly believe that you would and could do everything 'by the book' so to speak, if you were presented with a similar situation such as mine, then you my friend, have never, NEVER felt true love, yet.

Fact.

When the time comes that you feel real love, it gets you in your heart, ties your stomach up in knots, and pretty much takes over your mind, any clear headed person would love to behave in the way you have suggested, i know i would have done, but lets not forget, i never asked to fall in love with her, but i did, and when and if a similar situation happens to you at some point, then maybe you will understand it a bit more in depth, it isnt as simple as right and wrong, throw love into the equation and real logic pretty much buggers off!

I'm not trying to be condescending or a know all devildare, because im really not, but it just doesnt seem like you fully understand just what falling in love with the wrong person is actually like, and what it does to you, its easy to say that you'd just say nothing, but in real life, if you really had fallen in love with someone like this then saying nothing isnt an option, it really cant be done, you'd go mad if you tried to keep a lid on it.

I went after my best friend in the same way alittle over a year ago. I addressed her face to face, and once I started saying it all, it actually came out quite easy. When it was all said and done she wanted to stay with her current BF (at the time) because she didn't have the same feelings as I did. I didn't have a problem with it, as that's just how it works.

Did I feel bad about asking her eventhough she had a BF? Absolutely not, as he would have done the same if he felt the same way.

Exactly PMD, and if the truth be told, everyone knows where they stand, nobody got hurt and no harm was done, i cant see that as a bad thing.

Sometimes the girls do feel the same way, or even have felt that way all along and haven't said it thinking you don't feel the same (or waited for you to say it hoping you feel the same). It's all about having the balls to just get it out, and see if the other person feels the same.

And if anyone is in the way, sorry in advance.

Quote from danthebangerboy :

Exactly PMD, and if the truth be told, everyone knows where they stand, nobody got hurt and no harm was done, i cant see that as a bad thing.

Until she gets tipsy, spills the beans, and he comes round to your house in the middle of the night all drunk to have it out with you.