This = this thread lately...
alt-text on the xkcd page: "Friends with detriments."
alt-text on the xkcd page: "Friends with detriments."
Post Your Girlfriend / Love Life Advice 101
(5206 posts, started )
Haha, I knew the ending when I saw the guy doing the dishes. Ain't nobody got time for that!
OK, I'll try to explain what happened without writing an entire book.
This girl and I met about a year ago. She was on the same swim team as me, which meant that we were always at the same swim meets and spent a ton of time just hanging out waiting to swim. At the time, she was maybe the third person I have ever willing exchanged more than 30 words with, so I was fine with the whole situation as it was. Also, we started swapping lanes at practice (trust me, this is for some reason a big deal.). Then, by one of the few virtues of the high school grapevine, I got word that she was sorta into me. I was fine with the friend thing, but sort of just said, '**** it lets see what happens if I go along with it.' We were supposed to do some things at a party a few weeks later, but I went about my usual routine and got shitfaced drunk before she even got there, then passed out. I assume she was pissed because I didn't hear from her for a few weeks after that and didn't see her again until I hosted the next big party. Once again I got too drunk to do anything with. At the same time, under some unknown circumstances, I lost a bet and she won a handle of vodka off me. Needless to say I was a little pissed (only about the vodka, tat thing was f'in $45!) and I voiced my disgust to a mutual friend with a big mouth.
Three days later, while taking a shit, I got four phone calls from her in the period of about 10 minutes. When I finally got back to my phone and took the fifth call, there was a lot of crying and apologizing and really just emotions being thrown all over the ****ing place. I managed to calm her down and explained that it was just a stupid comment I made because she really one upped me with the bet, but there was a point in the conversation that I made it pretty clear her that I thought I might like her. Our big mouthed friend got hold of this conversation and said I made it pretty clear, so I assume the message got through.
Next time we saw each other was on a school field trip to Six Flags Great Adventure. Spent the whole day together, managed to get her over her fear of roller coasters (with the help of some xanax). It was a pretty good time, but nothing special.
After that, we pretty much lost touch because I had work and she was still swimming. One of us was always busy. The only time we talked was when she drunk called (probably happened 5-6 times), typically sobbing over something. I found this odd because, despite everything that had happened, I am the last person who will ever sympathize with someone elses feelings.
After that, I got shipped off to the uni and I did not exchange one word with anyone in the entire first semester. When I returned home from winter break I got word (from the big mouth again) that she wanted to see me again. Spent the duration of break going to her swim meets and hanging out, just like we were last year. We tried to organize something outside of the meets, but the first time she got the flu, then I got the flu, then I got some pretty severe alcohol poisoning. Ended up going back to school without saying goodbye, which I though was no big deal. Apparently it was, because the day after I left I got a phone call and she was furious. Insisted we actually spend time together when I get back and specifically mentioned going to Six Flags again. I sort of blew this off as a 'yea that'd be nice but we'll never actually bother doing it'. Few days later she texts me that she needs help on an essay on transcendentalism, so I gave her some basic ideas and edited her final paper. This is when the friendzoning happened. After that, we talked every night except one last week, pretty much about everything. Really wide variety topics of discussion from the Rolex 24h (should I really give up on a girl that loves auto racing?
) to her feeling like she's getting separated from her school friends because shes so busy and one odd excursion where we went online shopping. The whole thing with the 'cool stationary' and me shagging people at school was in the middle of this too, Saturday night.
I feel like its a lot of mixed signals or something.
This girl and I met about a year ago. She was on the same swim team as me, which meant that we were always at the same swim meets and spent a ton of time just hanging out waiting to swim. At the time, she was maybe the third person I have ever willing exchanged more than 30 words with, so I was fine with the whole situation as it was. Also, we started swapping lanes at practice (trust me, this is for some reason a big deal.). Then, by one of the few virtues of the high school grapevine, I got word that she was sorta into me. I was fine with the friend thing, but sort of just said, '**** it lets see what happens if I go along with it.' We were supposed to do some things at a party a few weeks later, but I went about my usual routine and got shitfaced drunk before she even got there, then passed out. I assume she was pissed because I didn't hear from her for a few weeks after that and didn't see her again until I hosted the next big party. Once again I got too drunk to do anything with. At the same time, under some unknown circumstances, I lost a bet and she won a handle of vodka off me. Needless to say I was a little pissed (only about the vodka, tat thing was f'in $45!) and I voiced my disgust to a mutual friend with a big mouth.
Three days later, while taking a shit, I got four phone calls from her in the period of about 10 minutes. When I finally got back to my phone and took the fifth call, there was a lot of crying and apologizing and really just emotions being thrown all over the ****ing place. I managed to calm her down and explained that it was just a stupid comment I made because she really one upped me with the bet, but there was a point in the conversation that I made it pretty clear her that I thought I might like her. Our big mouthed friend got hold of this conversation and said I made it pretty clear, so I assume the message got through.
Next time we saw each other was on a school field trip to Six Flags Great Adventure. Spent the whole day together, managed to get her over her fear of roller coasters (with the help of some xanax). It was a pretty good time, but nothing special.
After that, we pretty much lost touch because I had work and she was still swimming. One of us was always busy. The only time we talked was when she drunk called (probably happened 5-6 times), typically sobbing over something. I found this odd because, despite everything that had happened, I am the last person who will ever sympathize with someone elses feelings.
After that, I got shipped off to the uni and I did not exchange one word with anyone in the entire first semester. When I returned home from winter break I got word (from the big mouth again) that she wanted to see me again. Spent the duration of break going to her swim meets and hanging out, just like we were last year. We tried to organize something outside of the meets, but the first time she got the flu, then I got the flu, then I got some pretty severe alcohol poisoning. Ended up going back to school without saying goodbye, which I though was no big deal. Apparently it was, because the day after I left I got a phone call and she was furious. Insisted we actually spend time together when I get back and specifically mentioned going to Six Flags again. I sort of blew this off as a 'yea that'd be nice but we'll never actually bother doing it'. Few days later she texts me that she needs help on an essay on transcendentalism, so I gave her some basic ideas and edited her final paper. This is when the friendzoning happened. After that, we talked every night except one last week, pretty much about everything. Really wide variety topics of discussion from the Rolex 24h (should I really give up on a girl that loves auto racing?
) to her feeling like she's getting separated from her school friends because shes so busy and one odd excursion where we went online shopping. The whole thing with the 'cool stationary' and me shagging people at school was in the middle of this too, Saturday night.I feel like its a lot of mixed signals or something.
my luck lately:
girl who is 30ish miles away: she is sub-par, but not terrible. if its a lonely night, i end up staying there/she ends up staying here. always leave with the slight feeling of "meh." in too deep to go back to friends now.
girl who is slightly closer, around 20 miles: she is average, has wanted me since before my ex, about 2 years ago actually... things are finally linking together, but every time im with her, something always prevents anything from happening. always leave with my tank significantly lower, and my wallet pissed.
girl who is a 2 minute walk from above: petite, but hot. would bang. just hung out with her, cant decide if wants it or not. we talked about our sex lives while we were there, i wake up the next morning with a text saying "chris, would you have sex with me."
we will see where this goes.
only local girl i have had any physical contact with is showing the most mixed signals possible. may update. she is bangin.
so the verdict is, im only getting anything from the furthest away, least desirable. the closer, the less likely, also the most desirable.
notsureifok
girl who is 30ish miles away: she is sub-par, but not terrible. if its a lonely night, i end up staying there/she ends up staying here. always leave with the slight feeling of "meh." in too deep to go back to friends now.
girl who is slightly closer, around 20 miles: she is average, has wanted me since before my ex, about 2 years ago actually... things are finally linking together, but every time im with her, something always prevents anything from happening. always leave with my tank significantly lower, and my wallet pissed.
girl who is a 2 minute walk from above: petite, but hot. would bang. just hung out with her, cant decide if wants it or not. we talked about our sex lives while we were there, i wake up the next morning with a text saying "chris, would you have sex with me."
we will see where this goes.
only local girl i have had any physical contact with is showing the most mixed signals possible. may update. she is bangin.
so the verdict is, im only getting anything from the furthest away, least desirable. the closer, the less likely, also the most desirable.
notsureifok
Lost it at this.
Lad.
Yea, it's bad, but trust me I wouldn't deal with this shit unless I thought it could be worth it.
Your hand is the only thing that is a sure thing. Remember that.
ffs, 30 miles.... The one that likes me is 3 hours away and I don't give a sh*t.
Well, I for one couldn't get past the swapping lanes at practice thing.
From my relatively limited experience, I'm pretty sure this isn't a frienzone issue, Rappa. More likely, she seems to be afraid of getting a no from you and ending whatever friendship you have - and from all the drunk calls you mention, you probably mean something to her, and you seem afraid of taking the initiative and getting stuck in friendzone hell. Just remove your emotional barriers and go for it. You're already used to seeing eachother half-naked anyway, there's only a short way to go now.
Me and my most previous ex got back together, then we split up again last night, mutually agreed to bring it to an end as it wasnt going anywhere, probably the most amicable breakup in history, oh well, such is life eh.
I am so glad I don't live in your world or around your world.
it doesn't sound too much like friendzone, especially with the drunken calls, which generally means you're obviously on her mind at these points.
Man up and take her out somewhere, just you and her, NOT to get drunk or at a party
Don't ask her, just go "Lets go out tomorrow night, just you and me, no excuses"
Do not cancel something like that though, easiest way to have her disinterested and get yourself cockblocked.
Man up and take her out somewhere, just you and her, NOT to get drunk or at a party
Don't ask her, just go "Lets go out tomorrow night, just you and me, no excuses"
Do not cancel something like that though, easiest way to have her disinterested and get yourself cockblocked.
Close to Tampa, about 90-120 minutes from where you'll be.
^Yep.
I support this advice.
It's kind of oxymoronic that avid internet users and somewhat reclusive people are asking for and giving relationship advice. 
Some of us have actual lives too.
Well I'd say I was speaking for myself, I fit everything in that comment except the fact I have a wife.
Huh? You actually agree with Klutch?! What happen to you??
Ah ok
I'll also be going to Orlando twice to do some shopping, Universal Studio's. And probably Miami too for a day.
What signals have you given her? It reads like nonchalance from what you typed.
I also endorse klutch's advice
the world will fall, klutch has given a good advice!
btw, im gonna see her tonight. no high hopes, but hell.. anything can happen.
btw, im gonna see her tonight. no high hopes, but hell.. anything can happen.
You've got a BJ before so in the worst scenario you might get another one lol.
Pretty much that ^.
Just man up. Worst that can happen is she'll say no and be weird and not want to talk to you anymore. And then you can go back to not talking to anyone again.
... Wait. That's not encouraging, is it?
I'm definitely not a recluse. My girlfriend won't let me.
It hurt, it did. But I can't knock someone for giving good information. Not only would that confuse the advisor, but also the person who wants the information.
If just agreeing with him isn't allowed, then Klutch, your brain is like PMS, its on point only 5 days a month.
Happy now?
If it wasn't Daytona weekend I'd meet you at Universal (got a year long pass I gotta use!)
Not enough.
Post Your Girlfriend / Love Life Advice 101
(5206 posts, started )
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