Here it is, I present to you the Complete Works of Lerts.

Inspired by Linsen's Compilation of links on the forum

Spelling, Punctuation and Grammar errors have been corrected as best I can, however some spelling mistakes were so bad I didn't know what the word was supposed to be.

We have all been fascinated by his stories so here are all of his articles compiled together.

Enjoy reading it, fans of Lerts

The official Lerts fan club will soon be open

EDIT: By the way, this is not a Lerts/demo user bashing thread. It is for those who support Lerts' opinion, and respect his wisdom and knowledge.

EDIT: Should Lerts be president/prime minister? You decide!

Quote from JO53PHS :

Here it is, I present to you the Complete Works of Lerts.

Spelling, Punctuation and Grammar errors have been corrected as best I can, however some spelling mistakes were so bad I didn't know what the word was supposed to be.

We have all been fascinated by his stories so here is all of his articles compiled together.

Enjoy reading it, fans of Lerts

The official Lerts fan club will soon be open

Thread of the year.

Next year's booker prize winner?

Like one of Jezza's books.
But Jezza was on cocaine, heroin and LSD's all at the same time (or after spending a month in a box with James May!)

Quote from J@tko :

Thread of the year.

Next year's booker prize winner?

Do be sure to read his complete works, he has some very interesting stories to tell.

Personally I think you should have left all spelling errors uncorrected.

Good work nevertheless. ;]

Okay, we get it. The guy's kwaizy. I still find this kind of public ridicule a bit tasteless though. Don't you have better things to do with your time?

Yeah. There's a difference between a friendly ribbing and a full-blown ROFLing and pointing session. It would be nice if more people understood that.

actually im enjoying this people in the forum a lot

im trying to laugh at myself and i achieve it, seems that im fun

i identify myself a lot with inspectior closeau

Quote from wien :

Okay, we get it. The guy's kwaizy. I still find this kind of public ridicule a bit tasteless though. Don't you have better things to do with your time?

I am now an official member of the Lerts fan club. No, Lerts isn't crazy... he speaks words of wisdom that inspire me. This is not a Lerts bashing thread.

No I'm not crazy

Yes I was joking

Quote from DeadWolfBones :

Personally I think you should have left all spelling errors uncorrected.

Good work nevertheless. ;]

Well I was trying to make it so people could read it

Quote from JO53PHS :

I am now an official member of the Lerts fan club. No, Lerts isn't crazy... he speaks words of wisdom that inspire me. This is not a Lerts bashing thread.

No I'm not crazy

Yes I was joking



Well I was trying to make it so people could read it

/me downloads and reads

>.< Now I'll get yelled at for not doing these requests :S

DK

Lerts for president!

Quote from Hankstar :

Lerts for president!

+1

Hey, I LIKE lerts. Some of his zany posts are kinda good reads.
I was really impressed by the seven points of perspective. Besides, they sure beat the crap out of the same ol same ol Drifter rant/bash and rFactor debates. Don't they?

I think he needs to get a license though.

Of course lerts should be president! It would be great to have a leader who's interested in Bosnian pyramids and Maya calendars, instead of waging wars in faraway countries. Let him send the world's armies off on time travel!

I've not read it yet, but it does seem a bit mean to make fun of someone like this.

For example, let's see how good your (playing the odds here) Tswana or Kalanga are before you start lecturing

I AM NOT making fun of HIM

Crumbs, Niko's moved in too! That's it, I'm going home to "Other"...

sign me up, i think Lerts is brilliant. Things like this run through my mind often, but not to such a high level of understanding, however i do not bother speaking of such things with others.

I still think Lerts is someones second personality. Whoms? dont know yet.

Hi,
I have been watching this kind of "lert related" topics since them arise.
Is it necessary posting another one I am not sure, but one thing is in my mind I need to express.
Most of Lert's post was funny, but at the end he writes freely, without any boundary.
That is I admire, being honest is important.
At the other hand, when someone begin to talking about let say "dark/shaded issues" it becomes "weirdness" in "normal" world.
And entering that dark zones have a price; labeled as "crazy/insane" etc.. this one not everyone willing to pay.

I did say found funny most of his posts, well, actually, what I found funny is responses.
Some of reply posts are beyond the term funny, I laugh a lot to some of them.
For example this and response post to this: http://www.lfsforum.net/showthread.php?p=664453#post664453

How interesting is that the topic shifts from LFS technical issues to "seeing pigeons aura" than modern day toilets and how to use them,
small buttons and big buttons than shifting to "piano" mode.

Congratulations to Lert, he brings another flavor to forum.
It is not magic to seeing auras, telekinesis, telepathy, clairvoyance, apor etc..
He just caught some of you unprepared imo.
Bye

actually im unintentionally funny, im just my self and people rofl

i dontpresent myself as delusional in the normal world but thats the thing about anonimity

actually like most delusions mine has to be with religion, without counting my grandeur delusion

im agnostic im not sure if god exists

but if it does exist all unjustice in the world must be faked

i am agnostic about what the real world is like, if god doesnt exist then childs are starving in front of helpless mothers but im sure if he exists he wouldnt allow it

so in the end all my doubts and questions of wether people are reading my mind or im in the truman show resumes in one if god exist or not

myself like bastian in the neverending story shape the universe i decide hows its gonna be and i decided that all extreme suffering is inexistent so the only explanation for the news is that its all faked

i mean really its imposible to prove im not in the truman show as is to prove i am, as to prove god

the human mind is amzing. do you think it can make you see things that dont exist?

do you think the movie a marvelous mind is realistic?

myself never ever experienced something that could not be real

yes i remember levitating as a kid

once i saw an ufo, put my head down for a second and not be there when i rised it again, it was not there, later i heard as i walked down the street a zooooooom sound probably an hallucination but then it must have been a mass hallucination since people turned towards the sound

or when this homeless kid selling lighters the guys in the bar would start: give me a blcak one dont you have black ones any more black ones hey more black ones when all lighters were transparent must have been an hallucination but if it was an hallucination why a girl should jump and say hey live the child alone

actually seems most experience hallucinations along their lives, one of the most common is when someone close passes away to see their spirit, come on when it happens so often do you think everybody hallucinates, that movie a marvelous mind is crab

Quote from lerts :

........






or when this homeless kid selling lighters the guys in the bar would start: give me a blcak one dont you have black ones any more black ones hey more black ones when all lighters were transparent must have been an hallucination but if it was an hallucination why a girl should jump and say hey live the child alone

......

Hmmm All the drunks in the bars having a mass hallucination of black lighters?. It could be that the FIRST guy "saw" a black lighter, or thought he did (bad lighting.. effects of alcohol) and the others thought they now wanted a black lighter also. Not so much as something mystical as a hallucination brought on by suggestion, but maybe more along the lines of addictive consumerism. Like when little johnny gets a tickle me elmo doll and the next door neighbor's kid wants one cause johnny's got one, then the kids at school want one and so on.
Only the first drunk guy at the bar was mistaken about there being any black lighters. and the other drunks at the bar were just too drunk to notice. Then maybe when they do notice, they decide to razz the kid about it for fun and that's when the girl speaks up about leaving the kid alone. She's probably not having a good reaction to her appletini and the prescription pills she got from some one earlier and the noise made by the drunks at the bar messing with the kid isn't helping her headache. She really doesn't notice the damn lighters, she just wants them all to shut up.

I dunno, just a thought.

Oh. I read an interesting article in TIME magazine yesterday.
It's about research being done that shows that the part of the brain that's affected by smell senses ALSO reacts the same way when a person hears something to be untrue. It's really fascinating.
That old saying "something smells fishy" isn't too far off the mark it seems.

Quote from lerts :

the human mind is amzing. do you think it can make you see things that dont exist?

Yes. I call it imagination.

I call it peyote.

Oh, you meant unassisted. Yeah, imagination

If the human mind couldn't conceptualise or visualise things that aren't in existence yet (or aren't sitting right in front of you) I don't think we would have evolved to this point in our existence. For example:

Quote from lerts :

the human mind is amzing. do you think it can make you see things that dont exist?

I can see a letter "a" in "amzing" which allows me to make sense of that quote

Quote from LFSn00b :

I shall now officially declare that lerts is the president of our LFS land(not the king, scavier are teh kingz :P)

Can I be the prime minister? I shall provide free pie or cake, your choice

That's it, I'm outa Botswana, too much political turmoil...