Quote from Ian.H :

Sometimes, that's the only language people understand.. whether it be right or wrong.. and it's normally quite effective



Regards,

Ian

Very true, also sometimes only doing something wrong or not nice is needed to things work out properly.

For example when you raise kids, you have to be strong and say no to them, no matter what kind of noise and cry there will be. Without doing such things that may seem bad at the moment kids never learn to respect limits and laws for example.

I have seen way too many kids that are given everything and where parents have been weak, uncapable of saying no, those kids are what gives bad reputation to youngs for example in shops etc.

Quote from JTbo :

For example when you raise kids, you have to be strong and say no to them, no matter what kind of noise and cry there will be. Without doing such things that may seem bad at the moment kids never learn to respect limits and laws for example.

Yeah, I think that being firm with your children isn't quite the same as beating seven shades of shite out them... But then I'm not a moralist.

Ahhh you're too quick JT.. I wasn't gonna bother with this thread afterall, heh

Quote from JTbo :

Very true, also sometimes only doing something wrong or not nice is needed to things work out properly.

For example when you raise kids, you have to be strong and say no to them, no matter what kind of noise and cry there will be. Without doing such things that may seem bad at the moment kids never learn to respect limits and laws for example.

I have seen way too many kids that are given everything and where parents have been weak, uncapable of saying no, those kids are what gives bad reputation to youngs for example in shops etc.

True. My kid's not perfect (no one is) and he's a bit more of a handful at home (he lives with his Mum) but I think in 11 years, I've semi-raised my voice once to him to practically say 'no'. Didn't need any more than that.. was probably more of a shock than anything.

That said, I got clouted as a kid when it was deserved. Never beaten (or even close).. but received a few slaps when I wouldn't play ball, so to speak. Never did me any harm.

Since then, I've had my nose broken and 12 stitches in my top lip when I was 18 after someone rammed my head sideways into a radiator (my own fault for committing a cardinal sin.. I took my eyes off the fella I was having a row with :rolleyes: ). Thankfully it's not very noticeable but hey, I was always brought up that there's "always someone bigger and better than you out there". You win some, you lose some

As you say, life isn't always a bed of roses.. and IMO, people brought up to run away / grass people up (these people deserve all they get! there's _no_ excuse for being a grass) rather than dealing with their own issues are the ones who will suffer in the long term. Whether you go looking for trouble or not, at some point in life, it'll find you. I'm just grateful my Mum brought me up to be able to look after myself so win or lose, at least I know what to expect (although I'm _really_ against using tools unless I have to.. but unfortunately, long gone are the days when 2 fellas slogged it out in a park with just their fists ).

Many kids these days have no respect, which is half the problem.. the other, IMO, is this "new trend" that it's "good to be bad; innit blud!".

Nowadays I want an easy life and avoid hassle if I can



Regards,

Ian

Quote from nihil :

Yeah, I think that being firm with your children isn't quite the same as beating seven shades of shite out them... But then I'm not a moralist.

If their parents would done their jobs, there would not be anyone needing beating in first place. But certainly guy giving trouble to op has been raised wrong way OR some of his friend at childhood or more recent life has been raised wrong way and thus led to current situation, however if everything is done properly at home there would not be situation in first place, kid would have understood to choose his company.

One thing that annoys me as hell is that in modern world there is not enough time for kids to raise them well enough, could be on possible doom of modern world rising from there.

Hi. I've been reading this thread and it's really given me a lesson on various cultures and how they would attempt to deal with your situation.

Hmm. My advice would not be suitable for you where you live. But I will say this: You screwed up by asking your cop "friends" about the IM threats. Never NEVER get cops involved until there's a body. See if this loser is messing with you like this - do you think you're the only one? He's probably messing with other people as well and if THEY do something... like trash his house or give him a "blanket party", guess whose name the cops now have.
And if you do decide to go after this idiot, you're now on the cops radar.

Plus, like what was posted earlier, going to the cops can be seen as a sign of weakness or worse - being a snitch. Here if a person goes to the cops, they pretty much made things worse on themselves.

I dunno, you severely limited your options by talking to police. your best bet may be to ride it out. It sounds like the guy is all BS anyways.

Have you thought about setting him up? like maybe getting him to say some sort of crap that's offensive to certain groups of people, with members of that certain group within earshot, but out of his field of view? like manipulating the guy to confront you near some rugby players and direct the ensuing conversation to get him to say some thing like, "f--- your rugby player friends, I'll kick their ass too"
I was in a bar once and did that with some drunk ass hole that was giving me a hard time and some rednecks playing pool... it didn't go well for the guy.

Quote from JTbo :

One thing that annoys me as hell is that in modern world there is not enough time for kids to raise them well enough, could be on possible doom of modern world rising from there.

On that one we might agree! 'Work' is the enemy. I mean that quite seriously.

By work, I don't mean "getting stuff done", but the formalised, repetitive, moralistic nonsense that is more accurately (if colloquially) known as "wage slavery".

Quote from Racer Y :

But I will say this: You screwed up by asking your cop "friends" about the IM threats. Never NEVER ...

....never advertise your intentions on a public forum. Racer Y, I couldn't agree more. But...

Quote :

Have you thought about setting him up? l

Or just growing up? Come on, this is just an adolescent spat. In a few years time, you (bigmanwhatever), like Ian, will just want an easy life. Then you can go to work, be too tired to bitch with your friends, leave your off-spring sucking on the cathode tit, and everything will seem 'normal'.

Quote from JTbo :

Ethic, can it be changed for cash? Otherwise quite useless, imo

Quote from JTbo :

One thing that annoys me as hell is that in modern world there is not enough time for kids to raise them well enough, could be on possible doom of modern world rising from there.

welcome to the world created by your very own views

Quote from Shotglass :

welcome to the world created by your very own views

I work from sunday to late friday night, still I struggle to get enough to buy a house with loan.

To raise child well, at least one parent should be home whole time when kid is young, also other parent should be there more than one day a week, mission impossible by today's world where both parents should work.

Sure if you think it is ok that kid is alone few hours a day and in kindergarten that is possible, but then kid is not raised well by my standards.

Then there are case of rich people, where parents give good boost to world, give lot of financial help while studying so you can get nice easy office job where you get paid lot more than average, sure it is possible, however those people are quite rare.

i dont think you quite got what im on about
you expressed a view that anything you cant put a price tag on is worthless
raising children either properly or at all is one of these things so unless we undergo a paradigm shift away from capitalism theres absolutely no point in doing it

Quote from Shotglass :

i dont think you quite got what im on about
you expressed a view that anything you cant put a price tag on is worthless
raising children either properly or at all is one of these things so unless we undergo a paradigm shift away from capitalism theres absolutely no point in doing it

You do realise sarcasm?

My comment was sarcasm against this silly consuming and how we worship money in every turn and how you have to be greed monster to be able even get by average life (bit exaggeration but that is direction world seems to be moving).

i do but its not exactly the first time that youve expressed some quite materialistic and antisocial views so i cant be completely off

I know the type there was this one little shit who came to my primary school when i was in the last year and started bullying me now at high school he has been slashing the tyres on my parents cars he's done it twice now i want to smash his ****ing brains in.

Quote from Shotglass :

i do but its not exactly the first time that youve expressed some quite materialistic and antisocial views so i cant be completely off

I'm not quite simple life form (who is?), in fact often I express myself very badly because of that.

Thing is that I don't value human life more than let's say life of a cow, but it is only because of there is too many people and even more that there are so much people raised wrong way, wouldn't mind if there would be less people.
Maybe it is view with quite little emphaty, but I try very hard to think with reason, not by feelings, even I don't always succeed.

I think it relates then somewhat to consuming and how people spend and waste stuff, even government here supports views such like people should buy new cars more frequently and that in name of greenbandwagon, simply more consuming.
I don't like from consuming at all.

Also I happen to like sarcastic and ironic view to world and I hardly ever like to be serious when I'm off duty, oh yes and I'm 93% boring and one of most dickhead like person by tests, maybe it affects to something Even I don't think that I'm very much of dickhead, maybe average amount

Quote from JTbo :

Even I don't think that I'm very much of dickhead, maybe average amount

It's probably your avtar that gives the wrong impression

Serriously though how many people post 100% without sarcasim or humour and only fact and cold truth on a forum? I've always got what JTbo is on about and think he does see the world quite clearly if not abit excentric though

I agree with him fully that the world has gone mad with consumerism and that is what will ultimately bring about the next major worldwide recession.

Someone that aims to provide for themselves and family for the long term is far different to those that a consumed with consumerism. Many neglect their responsibilities due to "needing" constant new toys, by buying them with money they don't yet have rather than making sacrifices and going out and making a nest egg for the future.

Older people are often appear antisocial yes. But hey young people get pissed off here when they see the same stupid posts over and over again, well old people have been seeing the same stupid posts for 40 or more years, it wears you down after a while and the end result is a humour that invloves sinicism and sarcasim

Quote from JTbo :

To raise child well, at least one parent should be home whole time when kid is young, also other parent should be there more than one day a week, mission impossible by today's world where both parents should work.

This is NOT an absolute impossiblility. Out of the 200 people I work with, I can count on 3 fingers the ones who are there making $25-40,000 while their spouse is at home with the kids and not working. I can tell you, with a base salary of $40,000 at least here, you can own a house, own a new car, own a 2nd paid off car and give your children the proper attention that they need and deserve. It isn't easy, and I will be suffering for quite some years over it, but it can be done. I have a house, 2 cars of which one is only a year old thus I'm paying on it, I have subscription television, internet service, a nice big yard for the kids to play in (2 acres). The problem arises when the furnace decides to break or the stove or refridgerator breaks. When I purchased the house in 2000, all appliances were original with the house from 1968. After 7 years, the last appliance has been replaced with something new and efficient. What that means is huge credit cards for these things as well as for the simpler things that everyone takes for granted, filling the car up with gas to get to work.

It's all worth it when that little 4 year old blondie gives me the sad eyes on Sunday night because she knows I have to go to work the next day. But, she knows she will wake up and Mom will be there for her each and every day. It saddens me tremendously to think about all the kids nowadays that are woken up at 5 am to get shipped to the babysitter or grandma's house until late in the afternoon. Then dinner time rolls around and the kids are eating in front of the television while the parents are doing something else.

I'm home nearly every day in time to see my older daughter get off the school bus. We sit down at the dinner table together every night and eat a home cooked meal prepared by my wife. We sit at the table with my older daughter while she does her homework so we can help her if she needs it. Or one of us are on the floor playing with the 4 year old or playing hide-and-seek with her. My kids also go to bed at a decent hour.

What does that all net me? A huge unavoidable debt, but knowing that my children are being raise right. Sure I don't race LFS with an uber spec graphics card, or a G25, but it's all worth it in the end. I'm managing and my children are only going to be this small, young, and depended on us for a very short time. There's plenty of time to catch back up later in life to provide my children a proper homelife and not be raised by some complete stranger at the daycare facility.

Who needs the BMWs and huge mansion houses that you are never in when the children are being neglected. It makes me sick thinking of not only those who are in my job equivelancy, but those in management making all the raises and the $100,000+ salaries who think that both parents need to work to make ends meet. If I can do it on my measly haven't seen hardly a raise in 5 years salary, I don't understand how 2 parents making $80-200,000 together need to be neglecting their children.

Here average income is around $30k year - taxes that are ~18%, houses costs in urban area $150k and up, very hard to find any houses around $75k from extraurban areas, usually they need expensive work or they are 40 square meters in size which is too small for family.

Cheap cars are around $30k new, price drops 15k in 10 years. Gas prices have been mentioned.

Our capital city area is where you can get job quite well, there you earn bit more, but apartments alone costs insane amount of money, yet they are rather small. $3600 / square meter is really really cheap, easily double of that in capital city area, $7500 / square meter is seen from apartment that is in house made before WW2, needing repairs still.

It has gone insane in last few years, people are taking loans for 30 years and even longer. Also one must keep in mind that house needs warming 9 month in a year, which adds overall costs compared to some warmer countries, well last year have been merciful, go global warming or something

I guess there is not much difference, but certainly here prices seem to run away from reach of people, same thing everywhere I guess.

Just recently I did read how there was sold 120 square meter house, conversions shows this to be a price 750,000.00 EUR

=

1,096,390.28 USD

Pretty normal house, nothing special, I think it was not even very new one 120 square meter is 1291 square foot.

I'm not going to pay such sums, if all goes well I think I'm paying closer to US prices, that depends of course if house is good when I go to look it

Quote from JTbo :

You do realise sarcasm?

LOL... OK, but I'm quite attuned to sarcasm and I missed it too! I think its the "I like life rough and hard" stuff that blunts the sarcasm in that post...

Anyway, I'm all for sitting back and watching the credit bubble burst. Cars or houses? Just wait a little bit and then pick up some cheap repossession items...

Personally, I don't like to work more than three days a week, and I've managed that for a good number of years now. I don't own a house and I don't have a number of the trappings of a late capitalist lifestyle, but that also means I don't have any significant debt and I do have four or five days out of seven that are mine to use as I wish.

Stop working. The world will be a better place.

But I like my job

I did last year 2-3 weeks in a month, was ok, income was not very bad, not very good either, but now there is more work anyone of us did except, of course income will be better and if it makes possible me to get house, it is ok. Will be part of my early retirement plan

Since you laid it out, JT, here's how it works out on a normal workers income around here.

You get a paycheck of say $15 per hour for average ($31,000). Out of your $1200 paycheck, 30% is taken out for medical insurance, federal taxes, and state taxes, misc. taxes, social security, etc, leaving you $840 for a paycheck or $1680 for the month. From that, you pay $700 for a house payment, $300 if you can find a car cheap (decent new car so you are not paying an arm and a leg for it to be repaired constantly), and $100 for car insurance. Roughly $100 for heating bill (October through March or April), $80 for electric. Since I live out in the country, I'm not including water and sewage, but have to add the phone bill including long distance for calls to the doctor and grandparents, ect. That totals up to around $80 (probably $15 of that is long distance call charges).

You have to feed your kids and I'm not skimping when it comes to the kids. I'll eat garbage, but I want my kids to eat reasonably healthy. You're looking at roughly $500/month on groceries. The wife does the grocery shopping and takes the kids to school occasionally and needs fuel in her car. You're looking at probably $50 in gas. Now driving to work is a bit more. I spend probably at least $200 in gas getting to work. Also, you have to have a phone, and since I'm not in the city and not including my

So, in total, out of your $1680 monthly income, you are spending around $2050 per month. You also have to save up an additional 1% of that for local taxes as that isn't defered from your paycheck. So add on another tax of 16.80 for expenses of $2066 per month to pay with your $1680 paycheck.

That is why children are being raised without the actual parents and growing up alone, in daycare, or with grandparents. I work a lot of overtime to take up some of that $366 extra that the base income doesn't cover. All that is disregarding any enjoyment like going out to eat now and then, buying toys for the kids, taking the kids to see a movie now and then, or buying them a DVD, having any sort of television as our local broadcasting doesn't reach us, so we have an $80 satellite TV bill, etc. It means no yearly vacation to Disney World at a pop of $5000 like so many of the 2 income families do every year. Really no going anywhere in the summer for fun with the kids because even something that doesn't cost anything costs money to drive there and lunch and dinner for the day.

[quote=squidhead;699330]If we were studying in the same college, I would do exactly the same thing with you, it would solve everything since you would be scared shitless even to look at me, because if you would I'd repeat everything I did...plus I guess you would think twice before calling people idiots...

people who are afraid of brutal actions (like you I see) are always bullied, people who bully other people ONLY UNDERSTAND BRUTE FORCE APPLIED TO THEIR FACES, doing anything legal like asking for help from police or anything else makes them even angrier and shows them you can't do anything on your own and makes them come at you harder, whereas having their @$$ handed to them makes them think twice about trying that again...

I broke one guys arm in 11th grade, there was no bullying AT ALL after that... trouble? WOW I even had a "serious talk" with a police lady telling me that fighting is bad....


Lol i'm not out for revenge but advice like that is stupid, and if you think your such a hard knock i'd like to see you say all that to my face, I do boxing and i've learnt to only fight when is needed and not to prove how hard you are....your probably just another wannabe hard kid sat behind his pc screen, case closed, no more post from me, your not worth it,

Quote from mrodgers :

...

That is very close to ours, little differences here and there, but surprisingly similar, overly expensive that is

Lower fuel consumption makes up higher priced fuel a bit here I think, but heating in here is around $1500 / year.

Interesting anyway and great that you are making so much better starting point for kids

The situation is being sorted lads, thanks for the help and advice .

I'll keep you updated, I've been told that we are gonna see each other face to face, with a tutor as witness, and basically discuss the issues and then shake hands.