Ricers are a stupid bunch of young idiots who decide they are car experts after watching The Fast and the Furious, Pimp My Ride and playing Need For Speed Underground. They then try "SOUPING UP" or "PIMPING" their "RIDES".
This has no relation to making soup which probably tastes nicer than ricers (and is undeniably infinitely more useful) but there might be a connection between SOUP BOXES and the material they use for making body-kits.
Ricer Philosophy
Ricers have many different tastes but in general they operate by the following philosophy:
NEONS, BODY-KITS, FART CANS AND CHROME MAKE THE CAR FASTER, AND WILL HELP US GET LAID BY PREPS.
Ricers have a tendency to tell REAL car enthusiasts that their cars don't look fast enough to beat theirs (LOOK, being the operative word). They tend to see themselves as able tuners of the motor racing world as they try to modify their cars by themselves and believe professional advice or help is useless since "The Fast And The Furious" taught them everything.
They have a strong desire to spend hundreds upon thousands of dollars on unnecessary body-kits, televisions and wings(spoilers) to their cars. Yet they will try to dismantle and destroy the rear seats, side panels etc and say it's to reduce weight. In there mothers garage.
A Ricer car, with enormous DUAL Fart Pipe and Spoiler. Believed to give incredible amounts of engine power
A Ricer’s car is an automobile that that has been modified to give impression of high performance, but does not necessarily have any high-performance capabilities. They usually do this by buying typically (but not necessarily) cheap Japanese Import cars (hence the term “Rice”), and then installing as many “cool” visual modifications on their cars as they possibly can, without any regard to practicality, cost, style or taste. Often, these “modifications” end up costing so much that they ironically could have used that money to actually buy a better car.
Ricers are also typically people who actually know very little if not anything at all about the mechanics of cars. Hence they will often make poor installations of their said “modifications”, by doing things like putting spoilers on their cars that serve no useful function (especially if the car is front wheel drive) even though that would possibly increase drag and decrease traction, painting it wild, eye burning neon colors with flames up the side of their cars that only serve to make the car look like a children’s toy, installing monstrous tachometers into a car which has automatic transmission, and so on.
Common Peformance Modifications done by Ricers
Spoilers and Bodykits
* A 20' spoiler
* Body-kits that take up two lanes on a freeway
* Having a rear wing(spoiler) on a front wheel drive
* Spoilers that are shaped in such a way that they don't produce any down-force so are just there for "looks"
* Having spoilers in rear of their front wheel drive for the "cool looks" when it just looks like a shopping cart handle.
Gauges
* Dinosauric-in-size tachometers with massive shift lights on the dash of cars with automatic transmissions. The light comes on around redline (a.k.a. max power), indicating the proper powerband into which to dump the transmission into 'D'
* Tachometers that go up to an enormous amount of RPM (e.g. around 11000rpm), even though their cars can only go up to around 4500rpm when opened up all the way.
* Boost gauge attached to the A-pillar with double sided tape, with the vac lines hooked up to nothing because there is no turbo...yet
* Huge bright blinking shift lights, you know, just in case you forgot that you have to shift to drive.
Visual
* Neon lights
* Neon lights under the car
* So much chrome it can blind the blind
* Toyota Altezza-style clear tail-lights
* Disgusting paint jobs...I mean blue and bright orange?
* Stickers and decals depicting brands and devices in no way related to the car (i.e. Nismo stickers on a Mitsubishi, VTEC stickers/badges on clearly non-VTEC car)
* Slapping large Japanese stickers on the side for added HP
Audio/Video
* Faulty wiring on sound systems
* A flat screen TV near subwoofers
* A TV instead of rear reg. plates
* Flat Screen Televisions on the back of the front seats, even though they have removed the back seats
* Spending 5 times the value of the base car on speakers
Other
* Suspension springs cut to have a lowered look (note: lowering the car PROPERLY does help in a way of stability, but by no means should anyone cut springs for it is utter stupidity to do so)
* Putting High Grip and thick rubber tyres on the rear wheels even though the car is a Front Wheel Drive.
* Enormous XZZZOOORRRZZZZZTZZZ (a.k.a. FART PIPE) that are just noise machines and aren't actually connected to the exhaust system
* NAs bottles that aren't connected to the actual engine
* Black painted panels that they say is carbon fibre, though clearly they aren't
* Spending 40-50 bucks on every oil change by buying synthetic oil and quality oil filter for their riced cars, hoping that it'll lubricate their engine parts and car will be twice faster when all it does is just prevents your car parts from corroding, wearing, and just lubricates moving parts to run your car smooth. (Regular oil and filter would do the same job for their car. Synthetic oil and quality filter is for high-class cars, such as BMW, Benz, Lexus, Infiniti, Audi, and any other cars that have higher value than these cars)
* While technically not a modification, every Ricer believes that their car has VTEC. VTEC is a variable valve timing system developed by Honda. Though it merely retains peak efficiency of the engine throughout its rev range, the common ricer believes it gives them an instant power boost, much like a turbo. Even ricers of cars other than Hondas believe that VTEC exists in their engine.
Ricer Talk
Example A
At some car park
Ricer 1 - "Look at those chromes bro."
Ricer 2 - "I bet those are light weight"
Ricer 1 - "Must be, chromes are the lightest thing on the freakin market!"
Example B
Another Car park
Ricer 3 - "Just by looking at that wing, I'm sure he has at least 10 freakin grand under that hood."
Ricer 4 - "He also has a NOS AND an NX sticker, he must have two separate systems!"
Ricer 3 and 4 - "WHOOOAAAA...."
Example C
At yet another location
Ricer 5 - "My civic is the fastest thing around this neighborhood."
Ricer 6 - "2 Gs says I can beat you to the police station."
Ricer 5 - "What makes you say that?"
Ricer 6 - "I converted my B16 engine in my civic to a rota! (rotary or Wankel is the proper term but ricers are too stupid to even tell differences between different types of rotary engines, so I shouldn't even be bothering to explain)
Ricer 5 - "OMG! STFU ARE YOU KIDDING?"
Real Car Enthusiast - "What type of rotary?"
Ricer 6 - "You know, ROTA! Jeez don't you know anything about cars?"
Example D
At A Gas Station
Ricer 7 - Check my new intercooler!
Ricer 8 - Whoa coolz!
Real Car Enthusiast - Where the hell's the turbo?
Ricer 7 - You don't need to have a turbo to have an intercooler! What a freakin dumbass...
Example E
At a race circuit
A ricer just lost against a real car enthusiast:
Ricer 9 - You only beat me cauze yooo have freakin turbo!
Real Car Enthusiast - My car is Naturally Aspirated....
Ricer 9 - That's what they all say. (have no idea what that guy just said.)
Example F
In a living room
Ricer 10 - Oh bro, check out da chromes, Chingy styles!
Ricer 11 - Yea, damn straight, they added a forced induction kit to the 240 SuX
Ricer 10 - Yea...(blanking out confused)
Ricer 11 – That’s when dey chuck induction by force, into the VTEC DOHC twin B13 rota
Ricer 10 - eh? I betta get me some of dat shiet!
Both leave room, putting down Classical Cars magazine
Example G
A Ricer is showing his car to a Real Car Enthusiast
Ricer 12 - Yo man! Check out my ride! It's got every single freakin mod you can think of on it!
Real Car Enthusiast - Oh really...?
Ricer 12 - Yo! If da modz been made it's on my freakin ride foo!
Real Car Enthusiast - Hmmm. Yes... Tell me, does it have a DMX 120 Interloper on it?
Ricer 12 - Errr... No I don't have one of those yet, but I'm thinking 'bout it yo!
Real Car Enthusiast - I just made that up you moron.
Example H
A Ricer is being loud and low brow at a gas station, trying to pick a fight with you because you don't want to race him
Ricer 13 - What up dog, you got one of them F14 motors in your civic?
Me - No, this has a d15b7. About 90HP to the wheels.
Ricer 13 - Oh, snap, dog! You gotz to be sprayin the shit out of it at 30 psi, you can waste a new ZO6(Witch has 510 BHP, 456 pounds of tourqe and does 0-60 in 3.8 seconds.)
Me - No, Its just my daily commute. Its entertaining enough to drive as is, I don't want to break any stock internals
Ricer 13 - (Confused look) Shit, dog, You gotz to slam and spray that bitch put quad turbos on it too, cuz I went to UTI and they taught me all that ill shit!
Me - I went to UTI also, but instead of ****ing around in the halls on my cellphone, I paid attention in class. I'm now master ASE certified and I'm also a silver level Honda technician. And when I save enough money, I'll buy a car that is scalable and easy to modify, instead of dumping 20 grand into my 12 year old rusty old shitbox, so I can sell it for 2 grand in a year or so.
Ricer 13 - Aw, snap. You just gotz to get wit it, I've blown up more rides than you'll ever own.
Me - Are you bragging or complaining? Please go away. You are a leach on society.
Example I
The situation: Ricers often believe that, while their cars are obviously superior to anything on the road, it would be nice to have a more recognizable car (I.E. a Hero Car from the F&F.) Thus, whenever presented with a situation to purchase one, they will attempt to, out of the goodness of thier hearts, trade their "completed masterpiece" to someone in order to "spread the love."
The Ricer approaches APU Supra at informal meet:
Ricer - Yo dawg! That twin turbo supra with the 2JZ is off da hook!
Supra owner - Actually, I converted to a single turbo kit. I'm putting down about 1000 rwhp no spray.
Ricer - Yo dawg...what'd you do that for??? With parts overnighted from Japan and a couplea bottles of Nawz, you should be running 9's in no time. But I'll tell you what. My Integra over there is sitting on 22's with a B18 swap and she's making about 1200 rwhp no nawz, and I'm thinking about throwing a turbo in there. I'll trade you straight up. My teg for your supra. I'll even let you keep the wing, even though it would look great on the supra.
Supra owner - Please go jizz on your poster of Paul Walker. My turbo cost more than your entire car.
Example J
Ricer commenting on the Ferrari-Shell commercial on YouTube
Ricer - all dat money for this unimpressive slow crap. (Obviously has never seen a Formula One car at race speed, and a single bolt on the F1 car is probably worth more than his entire car , before he even got his hands on it)
Real Car Enthusiast - Slow crap? So I bet your Civic with glasspacks and a rear wing can do better?
Thanks Migz
