Your mother.
Your mother.
I'll agree with you to some extent, but I guess you didn't read the white text dumbshit.
How do you confuse an Irishman:
Put two shovels against a wall and tell him to take his pick!
How many Man Utd supporters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
125,002 -> 1 to hold the ladder, one to fit the bulb, 25,000 to watch, and another 100,000 to buy the commemorative T-shirt!
Actually, better make that 125,003...if Ronaldo is doing the fitting, it's guaranteed he will fall off the ladder and scream for a penalty!
Put two shovels against a wall and tell him to take his pick!
How many Man Utd supporters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
125,002 -> 1 to hold the ladder, one to fit the bulb, 25,000 to watch, and another 100,000 to buy the commemorative T-shirt!
Actually, better make that 125,003...if Ronaldo is doing the fitting, it's guaranteed he will fall off the ladder and scream for a penalty!
What is the "white text dumbshit"?
It's the white text below his post, dumbshit.
Especially for Niall 
How do you make an Irishman burn his face ?
Phone him when he's ironing
How do you keep an Irishman occupied for an afternoon?
Give him a piece of paper with PTO on both sides.
What's the difference between an Irishman and a trampoline?
You take your boots off to jump on a trampoline
How do you make an Irishman burn his face ?
Phone him when he's ironing
How do you keep an Irishman occupied for an afternoon?
Give him a piece of paper with PTO on both sides.
What's the difference between an Irishman and a trampoline?
You take your boots off to jump on a trampoline
Why did the baker have smelly hands?
Because he kneaded a poo.
Because he kneaded a poo.
little something for sweds.
How many sweden man do u need to change lamp?
20, one is holding the lamp and others roll the ladders
How many sweden man do u need to change lamp?
20, one is holding the lamp and others roll the ladders
What do you call a chav in an iron box?
Safe
A chav is in a car... and there's no music playing. Who's driving?
The policeman
What's the difference between a chav and a coconut?
One's thick and hairy... the other's a coconut.
What do you call a chav in a filing cabinet?
Sorted
What's the fastest thing on Earth?
A chav with a TV set...
What's the second fastest thing on Earth?
His brother with the hi-fi...
What do chavs use as protection during sex?
A bus shelter
There are so many more... but meh.
This guy come back home after day work and find his girlfriend sitting on the couch so angry.
- What's the matter? Ask him
- Look, I've bought this puzzle of a cock and I'm not even able to fit one single piece.
The guy stands looking at her girlfriend and the table and finally says:
- Ok dear, let's do this: Now I'm gonna put back the cornflakes in the box and we'll never talk of this again.
- What's the matter? Ask him
- Look, I've bought this puzzle of a cock and I'm not even able to fit one single piece.
The guy stands looking at her girlfriend and the table and finally says:
- Ok dear, let's do this: Now I'm gonna put back the cornflakes in the box and we'll never talk of this again.
haha, even in broken english that joke always makes me laugh 
What do you do if an Irishman throws a pin at you?
Run like hell - he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.
What do you do if an Irishman throws a pin at you?
Run like hell - he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.
If you don't mind to correct my text I'll be very thankfull to learn some proper english
There you go
I also replaced 'cock' with 'cockerel' as I found a got the wrong mental image of the puzzle.. 
Hello, I am a Norwegian virus. We are not technical. Please forward me to all people in your address book, then remove all files from your hard drive.
Edit: Speed Kills, Drive a Honda
FLAMESUIT READY!
Oi!
How do you confuse a Geordie
42
If an englishman and an irishman jumped off a cliff, who would hit the ground first?
The Irishman, the englishman would have to ask for directions!
==
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Police digging at the Haut de la Gaurenne site have found Micheal Jackson's other glove.
------------------------------------
What do you call a shop full of nuns?
Virgin Megastore.
------------------------------------
Ferrari F1 team fires entire pit crew!
This announcement followed Ferrari's decision to take advantage of the British government's 'Work for the Dole' scheme and employ some UK Liverpudlian youngsters.
The decision to hire them was brought about by a recent documentary on how unemployed youths from Toxteth were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Ferrari's existing crew could only do it in 8 seconds with millions of pounds worth of high tech equipment.
It was thought to be an excellent, bold move by the Ferrari management team as most races are won and lost in the pits, giving Ferrari an advantage over every other team.
However, Ferrari got more than they bargained for! At the crew's first practice session, not only was the scouse pit crew able to change all four wheels in under 6 seconds, but within 12 seconds they had re-sprayed, re-badged and sold the car to the Mclaren team for 8 cases of Stella, a bag of weed and some photos of Kovalainen's bird in the shower.
A few days ago I was having some work done at my local garage. A blonde came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten.
We all looked at each other and another customer asked, "What is a seven-hundred-ten?"
She replied, "You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and need a new one." She replied that she did not know exactly what it was, but this piece had always been there.
The mechanic gave her a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710.
He then took her over to another car which had its hood up and asked "Is there a 710 on this car?"
She pointed and said, "Of course, its right there."
This is what she pointed to...
http://www.pagetutor.com/jokebreak/images/710.jpg
Sorry it's copy and pasted, I couldn't remember it properly.
We all looked at each other and another customer asked, "What is a seven-hundred-ten?"
She replied, "You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and need a new one." She replied that she did not know exactly what it was, but this piece had always been there.
The mechanic gave her a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710.
He then took her over to another car which had its hood up and asked "Is there a 710 on this car?"
She pointed and said, "Of course, its right there."
This is what she pointed to...
http://www.pagetutor.com/jokebreak/images/710.jpg
Sorry it's copy and pasted, I couldn't remember it properly.
:iagree:
Sorry Duke, MEGA EPIC FAIL...this is a BAD jokes thread, and that one about the scousers was classic!!!!
:ices_rofl
Sorry Duke, MEGA EPIC FAIL...this is a BAD jokes thread, and that one about the scousers was classic!!!!
:ices_rofl
Why did the boy fall off his bike?
because someone threw a fridge at him.
Why are seagulls called seagulls?
Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be called bagels!
There was this construction worker on the 3rd floor of this unfinished building. He needed a hand saw, but was too lazy to go down and get it himself, so he tried to call his fellow worker on the ground to get it for him, but this guy could not hear a word he said. So he started to give a sign so the guy on the ground could understand him.So first he pointed at his eyes (meaning "I") then pointed at his knees (meaning "need"), and moved his hand back and forth describing the movement of a hand saw.Finally the guy on the ground started nodding his head like he understood and dropped his pants and started to jack off. The guy on the 3rd floor got pissed and ran down to the ground and started yelling at this guy: "You idiot, I was trying to say, I need a hand saw". The other guy replied: "I know, I was trying to tell you that "I'm coming...".
because someone threw a fridge at him.
Why are seagulls called seagulls?
Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be called bagels!
There was this construction worker on the 3rd floor of this unfinished building. He needed a hand saw, but was too lazy to go down and get it himself, so he tried to call his fellow worker on the ground to get it for him, but this guy could not hear a word he said. So he started to give a sign so the guy on the ground could understand him.So first he pointed at his eyes (meaning "I") then pointed at his knees (meaning "need"), and moved his hand back and forth describing the movement of a hand saw.Finally the guy on the ground started nodding his head like he understood and dropped his pants and started to jack off. The guy on the 3rd floor got pissed and ran down to the ground and started yelling at this guy: "You idiot, I was trying to say, I need a hand saw". The other guy replied: "I know, I was trying to tell you that "I'm coming...".
Mickey Mouse at the divorce lawyers office.
Lawyer: "I'm sorry Mickey, but it isn't a reason for divorce that your wife is insane."
Mickey: "I never said she was insane, I said she was ****ING GOOFY!"
Lawyer: "I'm sorry Mickey, but it isn't a reason for divorce that your wife is insane."
Mickey: "I never said she was insane, I said she was ****ING GOOFY!"
How does a drunk person get out of tree?
He hangs onto a leaf and wait's til it's autunm
Why does belgium cal the army everytime they demolish a building?
There afraid of armed concrete
He hangs onto a leaf and wait's til it's autunm
Why does belgium cal the army everytime they demolish a building?
There afraid of armed concrete
How do u know u can get rich?
U buy a dutchman for whats its worth and sell it for what it thinks its worth it
U buy a dutchman for whats its worth and sell it for what it thinks its worth it
Lol again the Belgium VS Hollandd war
the only difrence i seem to have stated it
For peiople who dont get it the same as brits and irish people
The flamware that began century's ago
U know making jokes about eithoter al the time and pranking jokes one one another when we are given the chance
This ones quite bad.
A small, weedy man called john walks into a pub. As he walks over to the bar, he slips over on some urine on the floor. He picks himself up, and goes to the bar and orders a pint. He then proceeds over to the corner by the fire, and starts to read his local paper.
After about 10 minutes, a HUGE rugby player walks in, and slips on the urine that is on the floor. John sniggles from the corner and says to the rugby player "i just done that!"
The rugby player walks over to john and smacks him in the face....
A small, weedy man called john walks into a pub. As he walks over to the bar, he slips over on some urine on the floor. He picks himself up, and goes to the bar and orders a pint. He then proceeds over to the corner by the fire, and starts to read his local paper.
After about 10 minutes, a HUGE rugby player walks in, and slips on the urine that is on the floor. John sniggles from the corner and says to the rugby player "i just done that!"
The rugby player walks over to john and smacks him in the face....
The bad jokes thread
(1536 posts, started )
FGED GREDG RDFGDR GSFDG