ok my bro just asked my mom what she says when a Telemarketer phones so for example if the Telemarketer says "hello i'm with (what ever phone company) and we have a new plan and were wondering if you are intrested" and well it sparked my mind that lets see what everyone else says, so i'm wondering what do you say to them? my mom says "sorry i'm not intrested" i know someone that says "can i get your number so i can call you back?" (he is always funny so he says that as a joke) so again what do you say?

"f*ck off" usually does the trick.

just put the horn next to the phone and walk away for a minute. Come back, put the horn back on the phone. Not knowing what's going on is more annoying for them. Certainly if that makes them hang up and phone back.
You can mix it up with "hello? I hear noone - please phone me back, I'll hang up now." Wasting time is the worst thing for them. To that extend, you could also let them try to explain their great benefits to you, only to say NO in the end.
Heck yes, those guys are annoying.

My phone company has started to call me and ask if I would start to use their internet connection.

Usually it goes:
"Would you like to purchase elisa-internet conn..."
"No"
*tuut-tuut*

But one time she asked bravely that "Would I like to have faster internet-connection to my home".
I started to play with her little game and said "Sure, whatever if it is faster than mine".
"Yes, we have really fast 10Mbps conn..."
"Wait, you promissed me a faster internet-connection that I now have. I want what you promissed. I want 1Gbps internet-connection"
"Err..."
"Well, can you provide it or did you lied to me?"
"Err..."
*tuut-tuut*

(I have 100 Mbps connection)

Loser: "Hello there i'm calling on behalf of *useless company*, and I was wondering if you ever considered installing a conservatory?"

The Kringle: "Actually yes I have, what do you offer?"

Loser: *10 minute sales pitch*

The Kringle: "Well I live in a flat..."

Loser: "ah........ well in that case we do provide windows and doors, have you considered installing double glazing in your property?"

The Kringle: "I have indeed, tell me more."

Loser: *cue further 10minutes of A-grade BS.* *The Kringle enjoys a warm cup of tea*

The Kringle: "Actually it's rented..." *smug*

Loser: "Oh, sorry to waste your time."

*conversation ends*

*cue smug thought: "oh the irony"*

*sips tea*

I feel like rick rolling them down the phone. Or failing that - given that there are some silent calls - remove the phone from the hook and just not respond.

We've got a nifty device that tells us who's calling, so I can see if it's a telemarketer who's calling or not. If that's the case, I usually pick up the phone and say "Al onze medewerkers zijn in gesprek, probeert u het later nog eens." which means something like "All our employees are in a conversation atm, try again later please"

Another one that works very well is 'Dit informatienummer kost €0,90 per minuut'. If the telemarketer is stupid enough to believe me, he'd think he dialed an expensive phone number

My dad's even better at it. When a telemarketer wants to sell us an insurance, my dad wants to sell him or her one instead, because my mum works for a bank . And if they ask what we thought of the brochures they sent us, he'd tell them he put them in the 'archive'

I always say:

Fred's Fire Dept. You Light Em' We Fight Em'

And they never call back..

Or I say its someone else's house and they dont call back/

Say "That sounds interesting, and ... Oh, hold on, something is going wrong in the kitchen / with the kids / with my cat". Then put the phone down and have coffee.

Another trick is to always let your phone ring 4 times. Automatic dialers employed by call centers always stop there, because they don't want any answering machine kicking in. (Because that would waste their precious time. :really

Quote from wsinda :

(Because that would waste their precious time. :really

And precious money, because the phone connection is established (The "first minute" price depends on a country, but it is more expensive than the normal minute price).

Quote from hrtburnout :

"Al onze medewerkers zijn in gesprek, probeert u het later nog eens."

Absolute classic. I've been known to just start using foreign languages I know (mainly Afrikaans or Dutch) on telemarketers - just to confuse them.

I use "Luxembourg Navy Recruitment hotline, how can I help you" sometimes. Or "Vatican City Secular Society", "Tel Aviv Pork Butchers" or similar.

I prefer this one: LOL!

Even better.

Telemarket dude: Hello there?
Me: Hi
Telemarket dude: Is this Jose Blas (my dad)?
Me: No
Telemarket dude: Is He at home?
Me: No
Telemarket dude: Who are You? Can I tell You about our new service?
Me: No sorry bye.
Telemarket dude hears: Beep Beep Beep Beep...

They annoy me.

wow i just had a good laugh at reading what you guys do and umm Victor my bro says where he read about what people say (thats what sparked me to start this thread) he says that ex TeleMarketers said that if you keep the Telemarketer on the line they make more money becuase the Telemarketer is getting paid by hour so the longer you stay on the line with them the more money they make sooooooo ya

I ran a telemarketing sales floor when I was 22 or so (and almost lost my soul in the process) so here's how I deal with them now....

The most effective way to stop telemarketing is to request that they put your name/number on their do not call list. Legally, in the states anyway, they have to. Any further calls from the same company would allow you to file a formal complaint with the Attorney General and put said company at risk of getting some pretty serious fines.

Being polite actually yields much better results than trying to annoy them back, as well. These people have heard "**** off and **** you" and been screwed with all day long, so they actually take notice when someone politely declines. They may even try to ensure you don't ever get called back.

With that being said, if you really want to ruin their day, keep them on the line as long as you can and pretend you're interested. Change your mind right before you commit to what they're selling. In the 20 minutes they spent trying to convince you, they could have had 3 other people signed up.

One last thought. Most of the call centers are completely dependent on automatic dialing machines. If a telemarketer calls you and hears your answering machine, they hang up and mark the call as "answering machine." The system will usually call you back again later in the day, and will continue to do so until your phone number is (by the caller) marked as something different. Marking a call as "disconnected number," for example, will tell the auto-dialer not to try that number again. Annoy the crap out of a telemarketer and rest assured, you're getting marked as "answering machine" and someone else in the building will call you right back.

This is one of the best I've heard, I think it was actually posted here some time ago:
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/ ... be_pranks_a_telemarketer/

Easiest way (for UK users) is this...got rid of 95% of shite calls, now get only one or two a month if I'm really unlucky!

Quote from scoobyrbac :

I always say:

Fred's Fire Dept. You Light Em' We Fight Em'

And they never call back..

Or I say its someone else's house and they dont call back/

What works for me ....



" Hello, ***** abortion clinic.

You rape em, we scrape em.

How can I help you.

Hello

Helloo

Hmmm, another hangup ............"

Yes, tasteless, disgusting, etc, however, with caller id, damn effective.......

Just say 'could you hold on just one second, I'll be right back' then go away and leave the phone off the hook for an hour till they give up.

Quote from Crashgate3 :

Just say 'could you hold on just one second, I'll be right back' then go away and leave the phone off the hook for an hour till they give up.

Yes, but why let them have the phone line for an hour. Someone I care about may want me ......

Just say <<insert name>> handles that kind of stuff. Then shout that name and lay down the phone. Because they think <<insert name>> is on it's way to the phone they have to wait.

I'm notorious for pranking normal callers, telemarketters got no chance. I tend to make stuff up on the spot and play by ear but I recall one from where I used to work where we had loads of sequential phone numbers but not actually enough staff to answer them all, so I knew when we where getting telemarked because the phones would go haywire. So over a few weeks I gathered as much tidbits as I could from the calls I could answer...

Then one day they called the SAS and kept giving codewords and I 'traced' the call - prpvenanced by my revealing the information I had collected. *evil grin* they where quite pannicked

Quote from hrtburnout :

I prefer this one: LOL!

That's just the funniest thing I've ever seen