Someone asked about a particular banger racing meeting (irl) this was the reply he got, i pasted into the funny posts section of the forum it was posted on.
QUOTE (JACKIN JR 760 With His Hilarious (And Slightly Truthful) Description Of The Firecracker!)Firecracker specification?
If Your racing,make sure You cheat with loads of "Hidden" ironwork.If Your going to watch then theres some very important things to do.
1) Drink at least 10 cans of "Stella" when You arrive and then go around the pits saying the words "I had one of them and I did Kev Wilshire when I use to race?" When in fact Youve never even sat in a banger!
2) Wear all the drivers gear..ie Rigger boots,fluoresent jacket ( with nickname written in biro and a race number on back)
3) Go and chat to the drivers and tell them they should of done this and that to the car,when they have actually been racing since You were in nappies!
4) When You see race fans taking photos of the rare motors,walk up to the car arrogantly and stick Your head inside to look at the floor for 10 minutes..Make sure Youve got that can of beer in your hand to show your hard!
5)Try and get hold of the biggest umbrella you can buy and put it up when theres about to be a monster "Follow in".
6) Do Your best to turn up late pissed and stand in front of the kids whove been there since 8am.
7) Dont forget to hold the races up by getting up on top of the toilets and when everyone is shouting at you to get down,simply sit there as if youve not heard a word?
CLASSIC! If theres a big queue for the burgers and hotdogs,just simply spot someone you know near the front and barge in. Enjoy Your day,and dont forget to do the reinactment of the meeting in the large car park by revving up Your Metro or Renault Clio and shouting abuse.