the man who couln't spell Räikkönen, mainly because he...

...is plainly stupid, so that's why...

..he is also incredibly retarded...

...because he got run over by a garbage truck when he was 7 years old...

...riding his quadricycle (he kept tipping over on three wheels), after the run over he also..

met some aliens who scarily looked like ...

santa with leather clothes, driving a rat on top of a ball which balanced on jesus' head, while he was running around with his flip flops on fire. The holy man..

... Shouted to him ...

shutup deggis u a*shole nd he got up and ran to the his ...

story fanclub where he bought the legendary sword of...

the pinkk telletubbie which later he sold to ....

...Jeremy Clarkson, who wondered what the hell he'd been smoking when he bought a giant sword from some git dressed as...

bad as elton john so he took more ....

cheese flavored laxatives which made him...

so fat he couldnt fit into his silk underpants which his boyfriend gave him for his .....

6th birthday, which was after his 5th.....

which his 5th was after his 4th ...

but that's not the point of the story, the real point being...

that some people in this world have never set foot inside a traditional New York City cab , with the old school yellow and black colours and original yet surprisingly comfy back seats , vintage steering wheel and dials , with just a tinge of history jumping out from that old yet always reliable specification engine.

Speaking of taxi's , the other day I saw ...

... Tom Cruise run out of a gay bar and jump into a taxi driven by Jamie Foxx, who doesn't look like Robert De Niro at all but sort of looks like ...

an epiglottis full of bees. Which you don't really see much of this time of year, but the weather's been kindof chaotic lately and the barometric pressure's been dropping steadily for the past .3 seconds and I really need to take a...

... moment to express my deepest thoughts regarding artificially flavoured banana pudding. There is something about that product that just makes my stomach perform repeated tight Immelman turns to avoid it. Yet, here she comes again, with a bowlful of it and that great big spoon of hers. I can see her shadow on the wall as she walks down the staircase to the basement she's got me locked up in. If only I could...

pull my finger out of my ass and stick it in my...

mouth for a taste of the good..

... life, I mean who wouldn't want the sex appeal to pull a ...