I think part of the problem is actually the current realism of the transmission. When you preselect a gear, it's like the ingame driver is applying a constant force on the gearstick to the gear you want to change to. However, as long as the transmission is under load, it won't let you out of the current gear, which allows you to continue driving in it as if nothing happened (as long as you don't lift the throttle or drive over bumps that could cause the transmission to be temporarily unloaded, it will stay in gear). Then when you finally press the clutch it will let the gear slip out, only to be immediately placed in the next gear.
Ideally, we'd have a shifter that would actually physically prevent us of preselecting, but I don't see that happening anytime soon. If, however, we were to accept a little less realism, as in allowing the gear to slip into neutral no matter what, that would effectively prevent any preselecting. To be honest, I'd rather have a little less realism in the current transmission system in exchange for a lot more realism in the way you have to do gear shifts.