I'm guessing many of you write stories or have on occasion and was wondering if there isnt already a thread for a collabrative bunch so that ideas and such can be thrown around to improve help ect. Wouldnt mind it being stickied but thats hoping for to much

Anyway im currently writing "Hungarian Blade" strange name i know basic story plot is "Cam" on his way home meets girl "Niki" and then on a train ride home background information of Cam get revealed and the impending danger they may face.

Thats all i have currently on a plot because i havnt actually gotten further cause i suffer from writers block frequently when i know what i want i just cant explain it right. Anyway some help or some words of wisdom ect would be nice to help me along here.

Btw the last sentance in it, dont worry about it yet thats just for later.

Sorry, I don't have a lot of positive things to say about it, but I thought I should at least give you some feedback:

The text contains lots of spelling mistakes, incorrect usages (Eg: plurals substituted for possessive forms; "the cities services"), and it's difficult to read because you use a lot of long, run-on sentences.

You've got commas effectively ending sentences in places, sentences not being terminated at all in other places; you need to learn more about correct punctuation, grammar and spelling because at the moment it seems you're falling into all the classic traps.

The story is weak. Do you read fiction at all? This story would perhaps be acceptable for a computer game or a Hollywood action movie (I'm thinking "Commando"-era) - some medium where nobody even notices the story, really - but as short-form fiction it needs to stand up on its own.

The plus side: Nobody's any good at writing when they first start. It takes a lot of time and effort and planning and reviewing and editing and re-writing to produce a compelling read. If you enjoyed writing it, try writing something else, and work a bit harder to avoid the mistakes you've made so far. You should also read more and read critically if you want to learn how experienced writers build a good story.