Certainly a very good effort
Unfortunately I don't dig it quite as much as my fellow forumgoers, that's not to say I don't like it at all.
Overall, accurate description of the track. Your English is easy to understand. Speech wasn't too rushed. The one minus point, and sadly, a rather big one for me, would be the 'explosive' emphasis on certain words. I listened to it more closely a second time, and I'm unsure if it's you or the mic. It could be worth testing a few settings. I've listed two of occurrances from the beginning of the lap, to better explain what I mean: "As you
HIT the 100m sign", "back to
SECOND gear". They
really stand out, enough to make listening a bit uncomfortable for me.
One other thing. 'Extra' comments like the Fern Bay complex and a general overview would be good to put at the very beginning of the clip, maybe with a track map. I realise this wasn't an exercise in editing, but following my point, adding a map view and highlighting sections could be helpful aid. It's easier for me as a viewer to get a general idea of what's ahead if I can quickly glance at the map, and then hear you explaining how it should be driven.
Hope that didn't sound like it sucked, because it was well done!
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