From the guy who brought you FML...I bring TFLN

Quote :

(916): Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
(760): You are my hero

Quote :

(865): that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.

Quote :

(972): Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.

Quote :

(650): I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.

Some of those are seriously hilarious.

Quote :

(201): why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall

I'm doing that. Soon. Just 'cause.

Quote :

(781): WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
(339): Oh yeah that.

Muahahaha....

(630): i have no concept of time, i f ... ything in bitty hexagons.

WOW.

I actually sent a few crazy messages during Freshers' week this year. One of those texts I wrote 8 times, and sent all of them. They were all pretty much exactly the same, but somehow I managed to write it 8 times. To the same person. Embarrassing but amusing.

I got a txt/reply the other day that said;

"You just interrupted awesome sex. Are you happy? ps. The game"

Giggled a little.

Quote :

(781): I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed

Quote :

(847): I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
(1-847): How was it?
(847): Fantastic, but that's not the point.

Quote :

(843): happy early fathers day!!!
(829): im not a father
(843): about that...

Quote :

(124): Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.

Quote :

(413): I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.

Quote :

(978): just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors

Quote :

(303): if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous

abc

Quote :

(843): happy early fathers day!!!
(829): im not a father
(843): about that...

Thats seriously cruel

If my GF said that to me for a joke, I wouldnt talk to her anymore

Quote :

(951): now I regret adding my aunt on ... since I have diaherria.

I laughed at that one and alot of other ones, great website