I bet there are quite a few rfactor mods where laptimes are sort of realistic. But tires loosing 20% grip purely from going 300km/h, having peak slip angles 3x greater than realistic and grip curves that are from a different planet... THe actual driving experience is not realistic at all.
If I may brag a bit about my Z06. I have real tire data which is detailed enough for not only peak slip angle and stiffness, but also load sensitivity. We also know the weight, weight distribution and have a good guess on how height the center of gravity is. Then we have suspension geometry from a c5 corvette; which is roughly the same, giving us usable roll center locations and migrations, anti dive and squat etc. We have a detailed torque curve and know drivetrain losses because the Yanks love to dyno their cars. Coupled to gear ratios and a known diff lock, we know quite a few things. Aero lift is known as well, as is drag.
We don't know exact springrates (or rather wheelrates) though again we have some C5 numbers which might be somewhat close. We also don't know the anti roll rates, but again with plenty of videos available you can visually decide on something that is 'close' in body roll.
The chassis balance, TLLTD (total lateral load transfer distribution) is basically the front vs rear chassis roll stiffness, so each ends combination of roll center height, wheelrate and anti roll. Typical figures are in the 60% range for sporty behaviour, but in case of the corvette, the extra grippy rear tires could shave a few % off without making the ride all too hairy or dangerous.
Less known is tire traction; but you could say that modern ABS systems get pretty much all of the available grip out of the tire. With a reasonable brake bias of ~75% (thats only a few % in front of 'critical!!) you can decide on the longitudinal tire grip. Of course, this should also be enough for the car to do its 0..60 times.
Now, if the physics engine is good, first it should allow me to put in all this real data. Secondly the results of this data should match published real car data.
In case of the Corvette, just creating a car like I mentioned above, will pull about 1.04G on the skidpan. No tweaking of grip, just using the tire data, suspension data and a believable 58% TLLTD. Thats just impressive because the real car measured at 1.04 by Chevy themselves, and a few reviews got 1.02 / 1.03. Brake performance is within a yard, and 0..150mph is within a few tenths.
I think such an approach not only proves that the physics engine is pretty good, it also shows that this realistic aproach is the only way to go. Sadly the tire data I have for the Z06 isn't available for many tires at all, so sooner or later you're going to have to rely on common sense and clever interpretation of 'other data' to get a car going.. And of course the physics engine isn't perfect and things like combined tire forces are mainly down to the physics engine. So even in this case, while the numbers are truly realistic and the engine is good, the actual driving experience might still be somewhat off due to imperfections in force combining and perhaps other areas...