"Hi, I'm David Coulthard"
"Apart from being off line, too fast, braking too late and turning in too soon, I can't see what I did wrong"
"I didn't realise that I had set my shift light to come on at 3500rpm"
"It's FWD, so had to fight understeer around the corners"
"It's RWD, so had to fight oversteer around the corners"
"It's 4WD, lots of traction but lost loads of power because of transmission losses"
"I forgot my red gloves"
"The throttle pedal fell off"
"The seats are so high, and the steering wheel so strangely positioned that I cannot fit in"
"That wasn't me you passed, I let my mate have a drive of the car, he's much slower than me"
All stolen from the brilliantly funny Justgofaster.com