I don't understand how using a lot of FFB is realistic. Most cars have power steering these days, and once you get going, they are really quite easy to turn. For eg, in my car I have -6 degrees of camber, pretty soft tyres and a locked diff, but I don't get sore arms at all (it's really easy to steer around the track). I use between 5-10% in game in rwd cars, and 15% in fwd cars, with 100% on profiler. The only reason I use FFB is to feel kerbs and bumps, otherwise I'd probably turn it off.
Anyhow, Millie Sabords says that you have to use TC and ABS to be competitive. ABS - maybe, but AFAIK there's really not a whole lot of time in ABS. Maybe 3 tenths at the most on a hotlap, with corners that you can really take advantage of it (also depends on the car, and your previous brake settings etc). TC in most cases (except bf1, obviously) is slower. If you want less wheelspin, you can have a manual TC that cuts in whenever you want, and turns itself off whenever you want. It's a fantastic mod, and what's better - everybody uses it! It's called your right foot.
Try instead of fully backing off, or trailing off the throttle when you start to slide, just quickly back off then get straight back on it - like within a split second. If you trail the throttle the car becomes unbalanced. This method (sorta like a quite throttle cut, I guess) is great because your car stays on edge, and you get rid of some unnecesary wheel spin (you always gotta have some).
To top that off, use a low degree of rotation in your wheel setting so you can quickly correct too much oversteer, and voila! You're fast! It's easy.
