not a bad first vid. you got rid of all ther text from ingame. try to sync the video to the music next time. more practice and you'll be sorted. try to add some onboard (custom cam).
all in all, good effort.
Too much time without any car on cam, the drifting wasn't very good (pick better replays/scenes next time) and try to add some more editing and music sync. Just... go take a look at the movie making tutorial in this same subforum, because you're lacking the very basics, which are covered there
I can't help about Sony Vegas, but basic things like custom cameras and such are covered on the "how to make movies" post. That's why I tell you to have a look there because some of the basic things that your movie lacks are there, it's a very good starting point. Keep it up
My first video was worse than yours so it's ok to be the first you do. Sony Vegas is easy to use once you edit various vids.
I made this one with Sony Vegas some months ago, it's not of LFS because the LFS videos that I have, aren't made with Vegas, so it's an example to show you what you can do with videos, whatever you want .