Yup, Will just posted what I said. I have your cheque sitting on my desk at work.
TKM's - where to start...
Firstly - my car isn't big enough for all the stuff (like a kart trolley).
Secondly - the chassis is, to quote Will "f*****g badly f****d up"
So we arrive at Whilton at about 9am. We then, using my tools and the jack from my car, proceed to build the kart up - wheels, sprokets, engine, chain etc. Getting is right took a bit of time, as I've not played with a kart before and Will's rib weren't doing him an favours.
Missed the first session as we weren't ready. Got out for the second 10 minute session. Bump started it with Will's friend, and off I went. It's so fecking quick. I've driven some fast cars in my time, but this was, relatively, the fastest thing yet. F1 drivers talk of thinking about the following corner rather than the one they are in, but I was still thinking about the last corner. I was reacting to the kart rather than predicting it. And it was oversteer city for me, although we later diagnosed it as aggressive steering inputs from me overloading the chassis and bucking the rear wheel in the air suddenly. I spun once after about 4 laps and stalled. Will was about to come and get me when I hopped out, lifted the back of the kart and started it by myself. A few laps later, maybe 3, I spun again but this time on an uphill bit. I tried to start it, but it didn't catch, tried again and my legs collapsed. I was so tired, not just physically but mentally too, but I hadn't realised until the adrenaline started to wear off...
So endeth the first session.
We then missed the next session as Will and Mickey left to pick up a trolley, leaving me to struggle with the chain tension with the kart balanced on a car sissor jack. I succeeded, sort of (it was a bit tight), but considering the kart fell off the jack twice trapping my arms underneath the chassis/engine (yes, both arms, and lifting is really hard with your hands palm down underneath something like that whilst on your knees) I felt I did okay. I then had a quick snooze whilst I waited.
By the time they got back it was lunch, so we had a drink, chatted about what I was doing wrong (steering and braking mainly
). Then we kicked the tyres and set off to the dummy grid for Mickey to have a session. He was okay once the tyres warmed up, and was keeping pace with some of them, but a wire came off the coil and he stopped in front of us. At least the kart was driveable, meaning the problems were caused by me.
Another 'break' then back to the grid for my second go. Only this time the head marshall decided he knew my face, and that I was an experienced karter, so he sent me to the front. Before my first go, without knowing what to expect, I was only a bit nervous. Now, at the front, with 25 karters 5 seconds a lap quicker than me behind me I was crapping myself. At the start I let as many through as I could, got barged off my someone who thought I was being slow on purpose, and spent the whole lap on the marbles. At the last turn of the out lap I got a big oversteer moment, overcorrected and went head first into a pile of woodchippings. Again Will thought it was over. But I leapt out, restarted (took two goes becase I missed the throttle pedal the first time
) and carried on
Three corners later I spun again, this time terminally as there was too much traffic for me to restart
At this stage I was pretty convinced that instead of me being slow because of 90% me and 10% kart, the kart had got worse and was now the main factor. It was SO oversteery. Not even slightly like the first session.
Tail between my legs (although I didn't get heckled by spectators this time) I skulded off to the pits.
Third and final go - in the pits, this time back at the back where the pressure was off me. Started the kart, went off taking it easy to warm the tyres and get used to it again, and I spun by the third corner. Grrr, so I restarted AGAIN (getting good at this now), and carried on. Kart was still very very oversteery, even though I was being much less aggressive with the controls, but I was just about hanging on to it now (I'm still convinced something happened to the chassis between my first and second go, probably lifting it onto the trolley). Then the black/orange flag was waved at me, and I saw the airbox trumpet lying in the track - it had been knocked off as I jumped in whilst leaving the pits. So, tail even further between my legs, I headed slowly to the pits (but not so slow to oil up Will's engine).
So, it was overwhelming, tiring, embarrasing, fun and boring all in the same day. Did I learn anything from it - only to be more commanding of the brake pedal and smoother on the steering. Will it turn me from mid-grid karter to winner next weekend - no way, I'll be 0.2 seconds quicker than I was AT BEST, probably less than 0.1. Was it worth it (the day cost me about £130 once I paid Will £60 for engine expenses, travelled there, eaten and drunk, and got back) - probably not, but that's my fault. Would I go again - hell yes!
I just need time to get used to it. Prokarts are much much slower and are positively tame in comparison - it's actually a pretty poor example of what proper karts are about. I now have a bit more respect for karters than I did, although I'm convinced a lot of the engineering is done 'the way it's always done' rather than anyone daring to be different, and I'm sure I could think of one or two improvements given time and experience.
See you next week for the concluding episode of "What will Tristan hit this time when he spins".
Edit: Did I mention that the seat was about 10 sizes too small for me, and I had to sit diagonally in it to fit (which is why I look odd in Will's photos).