Now's here's a simple explanation for all the simple people out there ( S14
etc )
No conspiracy theory here !
"An Arkansas man with a propensity toward unimaginable flatulence claims he is responsible for the massive die-offs of blackbirds and fish in the state.
Bubba Franklin says he will ignite his farts from now on to prevent more bird and fish deaths.
“I must admit, I let go a whopper of a fart the night those birds all died”, said Bubba Franklin, a local bean and prune dealer. “I was holding that one in all day and finally, late that night, I got outside and just let it loose and whoa! You should have seen the birds falling from the sky!”
Bubba also admitted that he had been fishing in the Arkansas river when the fish die-offs occurred.
“I let one loose when I was fishing too”, Bubba continued. “I was out there looking for catfish and I let one loose in the water. Suddenly there were more dead fish around me than you could shake a stick at! I'm awful sorry I caused this to happen.”
“We can't arrest him for anything”, said Arkansas state police sergeant Rocko Crabtree. “There ain't no law against farting in Arkansas. At least not yet!”
Authorities say that Franklin's flatulence may explain the bird and fish deaths in Arkansas but do not explain the phenomenon throughout the rest of the world. Scientists and other officials from throughout the United States, Italy, France, South America and other countries affected will be checking citizens for signs of excessive flatulence."
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