Becky, i've to say i'm quite surprised because i only race on public servers and never happened to me to be treated this way...i do not hide i'm girl, but most people don't even believe me, so i tell them "then think of me as a man...
" maybe it's a "karma thing" if you get "angry" easily etc. morons may choose you as their target just because they think they can hurt you.
back in the demo days only one guy asked me a photo, i think mainly because he didn't believe i am a girl...he insisted for two days, after then he never said "hi" when met me, it just ended...nowadays may happen that someone joke around on the fact that i'm a girl, but i play the joke too, so it's just some fun, if i would have got angry for each joke i think i would have ended in your situation, if i want to race i only reply with smileys, if they are not guys that just want to be kidding, be sure that the majority of people at server will be on your side...but if you are the kind of person that get andry easily and reply with insults, be sure that people will kick you instead of the moron...
another thing: the more you get practise and get faster, the more you get respected by everyone (and not only by clever people who respect regardless of skills...), this will help you as the time goes by, BUT the most helpful hint i can give you is "smile and wave...just smile and wave" <- the best thing i've read on this forum...ever
PS i always wanted to ask you one thing: what's your age/sex/location