For me - start was not good, it was kitsch.... dork unnecessary spins, pretty lame font and colors... too blue.... Again, you doing too fast and rush thing up... I know it's made for test, but Jesus Christ, can't you test on your video editing software? It's really unneccesary to upload each step which You take... Also, it's not intresting to watch bad attempts for other people and these million attempts which every is uploaded starts annoying lfs community...
Camera work is still poor, dont over do that blue color around that text, dont use swirls like that, color correction/gradient map is way too blue.
EDIT: I recommend to watch lfs videos from makers like Lynce, unokevaFB, firemike, squidhead, me (lol self promotion) etc. I mean I have learned A LOT from watching lfs videos from experienced makers.