Well I finally got into my own server by use the Microsoft loopback adapter.
That's the good news, while I'm in there it seems to have glitches. I was behind my mate when he all of a sudden took off like an aeroplane and went into the sky and back down again.
When I was in front he said I was driving through wall and disappearing and then coming back again.
Sounds like classic ping problems but he said I had a ping of 1, I assume because it's my server and he had a ping of 26.
We were using Skype to talk could this affect the game and would team speak or something simular better.