I'm not entirely sure if this belongs here (feel free to move it mods ), but I'm a successful poet, and LFS racer, and I was thinking that, with my work published, I/we could bring LFS to a wider audience (yeah, I'm looking at this from the marketing angle too. I'm slightly nuts), I've had a few people e-mail me and ask about LFS after reading my site and poems and journal, so I was thinking of doing an add-line LFS poem. For those of you not familiar with add-lines, the way it'd work would be this:

This post is the first line (At the end of the post, that is)

Each new reply is a line added

Every 5 replies, the lines are collated (Could I ask a mod/forum user to help if I'm not around)

It ends at 100 lines

One line per member.

No erotica/swearing (that's standard for my poems)

Thoughts/criticisms/suggestions? (And please, move this if it's not in the right area.)

DK

typical Irish good idea,

Line one:

I was driving on Blackwood, in my FZ50 GTR....

All of a sudden, I lost my control at the chicane going over the curb..

The End.

I was driving on Blackwood, in my FZ50 GTR....

That isn't a very good way to start a poem. If I didn't know what LFS was and I was reading that as the first line I would think WTF and move on.

There once was fan of LFS,
Who liked it too much I guess,
When cornering at speed,
He got excited and peed,
Then his DFP was in a mess.

Thanks for all the replies, There's a 'notes' feature, I was going to explain LFS there, link to the site, maybe put a screenshot or two up as images. If we go with the 'I was driving...' line, give it one more try?

@Those who take the piss: Please don't. I may be putting your names on each line.

I have a line

'I found an AI in my way'

DK

'I found an AI in my way'
'I darted left then right and gripped the wheel tight'

Proper poetry should be a window to thoughts an emotions, not just an account of something you did.

Anything with a line such as "I found an AI in my way" should be torn up and flushed down the toilet; valid prose could be something like

The lines and curves of digital asphalt blur with reality,
My pulse quickens in the heat of battle,
But all is lost in a cloud of smoke,
The course shreek of tyres pulls me back to the digital domain.

Now get that stick out of your backside and try thinking about what you're writing.

Probably best to clarify the rhythm/structure of the poem before moving on. If someone's got a 4 line limerick in mind, and someone else a sonnet writtten in Iambic Pentameter, then it's probably not going to work...

edit : beaten by 3

There is no fixed rythym (sp?) to this, it's an add-line. And prose doesn't work for poems.

DK

Add-line is prose, since it lacks structure

True. But by 'prose' I thought you meant great blocks of text.

Want to help me write a different style? I liked your opening few lines

DK

Not really, I've always thought of computer games and poetry as being mutually exclusive

Amidst the synthesised cacophony of screaming engines...

oops.

Quote from JamesK :

Not really, I've always thought of computer games and poetry as being mutually exclusive

Yeah. It's kinda hard to read without giggling......

I tried a short story a long time ago. A merciful snippet:


Unfortunately, that was as good as it got Please continue

Quote from Goop :

Yeah. It's kinda hard to read without giggling......

Hence my original lymeric

Something I thought up during the day

'The screeching of the tyres
The roaring of the engines
It sucks me in
Keeps me going, there's nothing like it

The adrenaline's running now
I can feel it, my palms are sweating, the wheel's slipping in my hands
I push the pedal to the floor, the engine's screaming'

(How to continue this...?)

DK