Hi. I'm writing this for a reason. One of my close friends is dying of cancer. How the freaking hell do I cope?
DK
DK
Coping with loss
Basically, you don't.
You scream and cry and complain to the world in general and bury your head in a pillow and scream in rage until the day when you wake up and it doesn't hurt as much. Then you go on about your life the only way you can - one day at a time.
You can't and shouldn't hold back grief, because it will eventually catch up with you and be much worse when it does.
You scream and cry and complain to the world in general and bury your head in a pillow and scream in rage until the day when you wake up and it doesn't hurt as much. Then you go on about your life the only way you can - one day at a time.
You can't and shouldn't hold back grief, because it will eventually catch up with you and be much worse when it does.
Sorry to hear, the main thing to do though is to enjoy the time you still got with him/her. Mainly just think of the positives, have fun, try not to think too hard about the future, "cross that bridge as you come to it". Itll be hard, but its best to also stay strong, cos if you feel bad, god knows what they are going through, they probably just dont want to talk about it and try to enjoy themselves.
Try to put up a 'front' infront of them, as Dajmin rightly said, you cant hold back grief, but try and stay positive when you are around your friend.
Not much help I know, but very sad news, I wish them/you every luck in battling it
Try to put up a 'front' infront of them, as Dajmin rightly said, you cant hold back grief, but try and stay positive when you are around your friend.
Not much help I know, but very sad news, I wish them/you every luck in battling it
Sorry to hear it. Hopefully things turn around and he/she pulls out of it.
Like the others said, the only way to 'cope' is to make the most of the time remaining. Go hop on some rollercoasters, go skydiving, etc.... I know that's what I'd like a friend to do with me if my departure were imminent.
Like the others said, the only way to 'cope' is to make the most of the time remaining. Go hop on some rollercoasters, go skydiving, etc.... I know that's what I'd like a friend to do with me if my departure were imminent.
#5
- anbiddulph
that is exactly what you feel like, my grandfather passed away last week, you dont realise they are gone untill the next day, then it hits you, and you feel like S***
My grandmother died on Tuesday
The worst bit is when they get burried Sorry to hear that
It's very hard to cope with loss, especially if you know it's coming to someone who maybe isn't truly aware of their situation, enjoy spending time with them and keep them company. In the end things will sort themselves out, it's hard but don't try to your feelings away, they need to come out at some point and the sooner that is the easier and less disturbing to the rest of your and others lives that will be.
It's very hard to cope with loss, especially if you know it's coming to someone who maybe isn't truly aware of their situation, enjoy spending time with them and keep them company. In the end things will sort themselves out, it's hard but don't try to your feelings away, they need to come out at some point and the sooner that is the easier and less disturbing to the rest of your and others lives that will be.
#8
- anbiddulph
very true, his funeral was on tuesday
i feel for all of you who has lost or is losing someone dear.
i have someone work related who has cancer and it cuts me up to think what may happen to them........and as silly as it sounds, i recently lost our family pet, who was more like a friend than an animal............in a way, grief can be your friend.
death is part of who we are, but it doesnt make it any easier to cope with. enjoy the time you have together, and when that person is gone, never forget them.. enjoy your memories, talk about them......that way they have not left you totally.
i have someone work related who has cancer and it cuts me up to think what may happen to them........and as silly as it sounds, i recently lost our family pet, who was more like a friend than an animal............in a way, grief can be your friend.
death is part of who we are, but it doesnt make it any easier to cope with. enjoy the time you have together, and when that person is gone, never forget them.. enjoy your memories, talk about them......that way they have not left you totally.
Sorry to hear
i have never had someone dead...or dying, maybe apart from my mothers sister...who also died of cancer a few years back...just try stick with them as much as you can...and not think about...well...later?
i have never had someone dead...or dying, maybe apart from my mothers sister...who also died of cancer a few years back...just try stick with them as much as you can...and not think about...well...later?
Sorry to hear, and as people say above, you need to take it day to day. Some days will be hard, some days you just want to disapear, wish it all away. It needs time, but it isn`t to listen on someone say it, because it`s damn hard and unfair and basically you can`t coop with it.
Time will help, and talking about it also. It`s hard, hard as hell to speak about it, but to know that there is someone that will listen to what you have to say can help.
You saying a very important thing there. Never EVER forget the good times you had togheter. Remember those, and take care of them. Right now you probally can`t think of any other things than sadnes and grief, but with time when the wounds have healed about, then you can start to think back and at least a litte, be happy for the good times and memories you had togheter.
May I ask a question, you don`t need to answer it if you don`t want.
How old is your friend, that got cancer?
Time will help, and talking about it also. It`s hard, hard as hell to speak about it, but to know that there is someone that will listen to what you have to say can help.
You saying a very important thing there. Never EVER forget the good times you had togheter. Remember those, and take care of them. Right now you probally can`t think of any other things than sadnes and grief, but with time when the wounds have healed about, then you can start to think back and at least a litte, be happy for the good times and memories you had togheter.
May I ask a question, you don`t need to answer it if you don`t want.
How old is your friend, that got cancer?
She's 16
DK
DK
my best friend was hit by a speeding biker at 170kph right in front of me on 16.06.07, he died in a matter of a minute after the impact, I cried for a week, had a nervous breakdown, didnt eat for 4 days, and smoked up to 4 packs of cigs daily. Losing someone in an instance is very hard, but you have some time on your side, make sure you spend alot of time with your friend, have a good time while you can, it will help you both take your mind off the situation, and will help you personally in the future. Last days spent with my friend are carved into my memory now...I think it will be the same with you. the better those days will be the better for you, and your friend...
I wish you strenght and courage.
Oh god, thats terrible
I`m kind of speechless, I have only experienced the death of my grandpa, so I can`t tell how it is to lose your best friend.
It hurts just to think about it
I`m kind of speechless, I have only experienced the death of my grandpa, so I can`t tell how it is to lose your best friend.
It hurts just to think about it
My only bit of advice is to stop asking why, thats probably the most important thing. There is no such thing as a good or bad life, life is just life, you have nothing else to compare it to because each and every persons life is individual and unique. Your friend was not chosen to get cancer, you were not made to cope with it either, it just happened.
Life is not pleasent, infact its pretty shit most of the time, but as a wise man once said you learn more from the bad times than you do from the good times. Things like these make you realise how nothing is forever, and you must make the most of every last second.
Oh and try not to treat your friend any differently, she is still the same person you knew before all of this.
EDIT: Losing someone in an instant is a shock, however coping with the fact that someone you know and love is going to die and theres nothing that can be done about it is extremely hard. I myself still cannot sleep properly because I am afraid of what I might wake up to, my biggest fear is going to sleep and waking up to find my life changed completely, its like if you knew your friend was going to get run over a year in advance and you knew nothing could be done about it.
Life is not pleasent, infact its pretty shit most of the time, but as a wise man once said you learn more from the bad times than you do from the good times. Things like these make you realise how nothing is forever, and you must make the most of every last second.
Oh and try not to treat your friend any differently, she is still the same person you knew before all of this.
EDIT: Losing someone in an instant is a shock, however coping with the fact that someone you know and love is going to die and theres nothing that can be done about it is extremely hard. I myself still cannot sleep properly because I am afraid of what I might wake up to, my biggest fear is going to sleep and waking up to find my life changed completely, its like if you knew your friend was going to get run over a year in advance and you knew nothing could be done about it.
sorry to hear about that bud , ive had family members and close friends killed by cancer ( mainly from smoking ) . Im trying to give up smoking myself so i dont get cancer im currently at 20 a day 
Sad, very sad, especcialy if it comes suddenly, my aunt died, I was just having a nap, when my mother woke me telling she crashed fatally :grouphug:
This is going to put me in deep **** i fear but.
Just because someone has Cancer, or any disease for that matter, doesn't mean they will die, even if the Doc's claim that it is Terminal, the last thing you want to do, is let your friend see that you think she is going to die, even if the doctor said that to her face.
Still, i can imagine the shock when shes only 16, i mean, am i the only one who has just said WTF outloud?
But as he say she is going to die of it. And therfor I think it`s better to help him through the hard time he goes through now, than giving him false hope.
Of course, you want to curse, swear and just scream out, because it`s not fair, that a such young person should die, when she has the whole life in front of her
Of course, you want to curse, swear and just scream out, because it`s not fair, that a such young person should die, when she has the whole life in front of her
Hey...I'm back. Woke up this morning to find she'd died
DK
DK
Sorry for your loss.
Its been said before, you won't get the help you need on a public forum dedicated to racing. Seeking professional assistance may be an option if you feel the need.
Its been said before, you won't get the help you need on a public forum dedicated to racing. Seeking professional assistance may be an option if you feel the need.
my deepest condolences fang
Just over a year ago my girlfriend lost her mother. My girlfriend was only 15. She found it very hard coping and I found it hard coping with my girlfriend not coping. I'm quite sensative and sometimes it doesnt take much to set me off crying, not a fact I often admit, but there you go. If I see someone crying it tends to set me off. I normally hold it in, but when depending on the situation I would just go. My girlfriend said she found it easier if she just let it out. She never tryed to hold anything back, she just cryed and cryed till she had nothing left to cry, honestly...at one point she was crying so much there were just no tears.
After spending a good few days crying, she said she just woke up one day and didnt feel like crying, she was having good thoughts etc.
It will be hard to accept at first, but when you finally accept it, everything will be fine. So, just let it out friend. Cry to you cant cry no more. No one think any less of you if you are a man and you are crying. Everyone has felt your pain.
After spending a good few days crying, she said she just woke up one day and didnt feel like crying, she was having good thoughts etc.
It will be hard to accept at first, but when you finally accept it, everything will be fine. So, just let it out friend. Cry to you cant cry no more. No one think any less of you if you are a man and you are crying. Everyone has felt your pain.
Well, i just swallowed a whole lot of adams apple my friend..
Aye to that, we as your virtual pub friends, are here for you.
Hey, i'm really sorry to hear that, Fang. Don't worry, you'll get over it soon.
1
2
Coping with loss
(45 posts, started )
FGED GREDG RDFGDR GSFDG