Most of what's described in this thread is diversionary activity... All of it great advice if what you're facing is just a single bucket of shit, dumped in your path. Wade through it and hold your nose, whilst keeping an eye on the meadow of wild flowers ahead... Gotta say though, that once emotions start manifesting themselves, physically and uncontrollably, its time to get properly aquainted with the problem.
If its something that won't go away, you have to first find the source, go directly to it, confront it, and deal with it. List its effects, prioritise your responses, change your behaviour. Because even if there are others involved, its only you who can make the choices that will minimise or even erradicate that black cloud.
Honestly, writing it all down in this way, is the first and most efficient way of making big problems smaller. You don't have to do it on your own either... Since you're on a college campus there will certainly be some form of professional support. Use it. Having friends is great, essential, but having someone objective, who won't get upset when you rant at them, who won't be judgemental when you spew all that dark shit on their carpet (ok, I realise from your post that might not even be metaphorical... ), and who'll be able to direct you elsewhere if they can't handle it, might be a lifesaver.
I'm sure my roommate will have it on his hard drive soon
Well, actually, there is a variety of things that have gone on; the death of a friend, or a breakup, or messing up my degree are all things I can deal with alone. Having them, along with several other things is where I run into problems dealing. Thankfully my degree is still in tact at this point, the marks haven't nose-dived. Unfortunately, though, you are wrong about departed friend.
One of the issues with residence is that I do not have my bike here (nor am I willing to bring it here, based on the poor location of campus and high crime in the area) so I can't do my 50km bike rides. Jogging, though, that I can do, and I most likely will. Don't know why I didn't think of that. Sometimes I forget I have feet...
Unfortunately, this is not an option at the moment. We're in the same class, both in residence, and in the same groups for several projects. (Lesson learned, don't get into groups with your significant other in school... actually, don't get into a relationship with someone in your class. That's like rule #1 of college...) This is one of those things I'll just have to ignore. As for dating others, my problem in that regard is that I am extremely picky when it comes to woman. I'm not some macho 'most of them aren't good enough for me' guy, but I don't see the point in dating someone who you don't really have feelings for. When another one comes around, though, all will be well.
Hop on a plane, mate. Once you're here, you'll have to endure an hour and a half of shitty public transit until we get to an area with a half-decent pub, but we can always go to them. haha
I think I was talking to you about this a couple months ago; Airsoft has always been an interesting prospect for me, but I don't want to get shot by our trigger-happy police force because my airsoft rifle looks sorta-kinda-not-really like a real weapon. Paintball markers don't suffer from that problem, though, so I'll stick with it for now. Just need to get time to go home and get my buddies up for a few rounds in the woods.
I already DO do that, though
I wouldn't mind expanding my trance/drum 'n bass/etc collection passed the one or two songs I have now. Fast-paced and a mood-booster, could be good. Most of what I have now is hardcore/metal/rock and then the depressing acoustic versions of some of those songs.
I suppose that is a very good thing to go and do. It is free for students, after all.
Thanks again guys. I think I'm going to go for a jog right now.
In order to solve any problem you must first be sure that you understand it - doing so may take you to a few places that you don't want to visit but it's necessary.
Then having understood the problem you can begin to tackle it. Work out which parts of the problem you can beat by yourself and think about who are the best people to help with the other bits.
Sometimes it's necessary to let people in and tell them things about yourself that you don't wish to. People can't help you if you don't tell them what's wrong, and long term gain usaully outweighs short term cost. In other words ASK people to help you. In my experience they usually will.
Figure out how you can approach your problem in manageable steps, keeping a checlist of "bits" you've solved sounds a bit anal but it proves you are making progress and beating your demons.
Finally think about the parts of the problem you have already solved. If necessary think out of the box, I pretty much guarantee you that you've already started moving towards a solution.
Do as everyone else says find a distraction - one you enjoy and have some fun, don't use it as a substitute for solving the problem and don't shove your problems to one side but DO take time out to do something - anything else.
If you like Mashup dance mixes try google searching for "budtheweiser" -I'm not going to post any direct links since I'm not entirely sure of copyright implications.
What to do when feeling blue. Hard one, mainly because we are all different and react differently. However few simple things can easily help anyone who is caught in the dark.
Eat more healthily. Eating better and more healthy helps the mood, I'm not suggesting become a heath nut, but just don't gorge yourself on greasy fatty foods. A bad mood puts me in the mood for fast food, unhealthy fast food. Honest my local Indian takeaway loves it when my footy team loose, he knows I'll be putting in for a large order.
Select type's of music very carefully. Morresiy/Smiths a big no no. As is anything by James Blunt. (the first selection is because although I like Morresiry and The Smiths, they can lead to a deep depression quickly, James Blunt's just crap)
Don't cut yourself off from others, and by that I mean family and close friends. It's easy to say you're feeling down on a forum it's a lot harder in real life. You're friends and family will notice and although they may not say anything, it's probably because they don't know what to say. So I know it may be hard, but a phone call to a family member or friend can be beneficial.
One rule that I live my life by is this "There is no problems, only challenges to overcome" If you start to see things as a challenge rather than a problem, then you're outlook on life becomes different and more positive.
I agree with an earlier comment that Hell ain't found after Life, it's here on Earth, more commonly known as Slough (no offense meant if anyone is from Slough) And for some reason in life it's harder for a male to deal with these challenges. All I can offer is my thoughts and support if/when needed.
Agreed. I was an avid fan of all the most fun versions of drugs for years but I think in the longer term they have actually done some damage upstairs. Luckily not enough to put me in the looney bin (like some of the people I knew).
Uhhh... enough about playing guitar and video games and whatever.
TBH, that could actually add to your stress if you're not careful. How many hours are you taking this semester? Can you take a little less?
Most of your posts on this threads state something to do with your schooling. Is that what most of the stress is from? Just remember if you keep your nose to the grindstone and keep burning the midnight oil, you'll have a flat face and a big utility bill.
Someone else posted that you should count your blessings. That's really good advice. Cause no matter how bad things seem, they can ALWAYS get worse.
School itself really is not that much of a stresser this semester; but living in residence makes doing anything about anything difficult, especially being in this area of Toronto.
I can't take any fewer courses, either; since my program is so highly specialised almost all of the courses are pre-requisites for the courses next semester, next year, etc etc. Also, none of the mainstream courses are offered in a second semester or during the summer, so dropping anything will add an extra year/semester to my college.
Yo should search something to do and enjoy, something you pass as time as possible doing it and do not let you rememeber you have a dark clouth over you
In combination with reaching out to friends for company and just general chit-chat or even "deep" discussions:
A bicycle ride with no particular destination in mind just taking in the surroundings as if I haven't seen them before. If that fails then I do a specific bike ride in the mountains around here, going as fast as possible to exhaustion.
If the above fails then the last step is:
Alcohol ... and I start a project that requires manual labour - built, clean, repair or maintain something. Usually though the first step I do is to clean up my house/space real well while going through whatever alcohol is available in the house and humming/whistling fast-paced swing tunes, if anything atleast you'll eventually crack up laughing at how ridiculous you are with a vacuum cleaner in one hand, a bottle of wine in the other and whistling the tune to "mack the knife" (admittedly not a swing tune, although easily turned into one).
Which brings me to the bit that is just about common in all of the above approaches: to remember how insignificant I am and stop taking myself seriously - bad ego, bad, down boy.
I've been doing zen meditation recently - bear with me on this, I'm not about to go hippy on your arse.... A friend introduced me to it after a discussion about pain relief techniques I learnt in hospital.
Zazen is fairly devoid of anything new agey, especially if you can find a dojo where people are more into the martial arts side of things. Just clearing your head for an hour in the company of others doing the same is a buzz all its own.
And... Well, I don't know if this can be taken as a generality, but... the women are just gorgeous...
Physical exercise combined with a healthy diet and regular sleep cycle is a solid base for physical and mental heatlh for me at least. I don't mean pumping iron until your vains pop out or eating only seeds and carrots, but long aerobic training few times a week with functional training, and delicious healthy homely fare.
I sit at the keyboard 8-15 hours per day. If I reduce training, I tend to lose my appetite and stay awake later and later, which result tiredness, which result a downhill in mental health also.
Part of it may be, and most likely is, a placebo effect - but I don't complain as long as I have ways to keep myself happy.
What comes to life's misfortunes - The sun doesn't always shine, that's a fact. Sometimes you might need an umbrella, but even after the world's hardest and longest storm there's always a rainbow!
Like many have said, one shouldn't try to create life content out of intoxicants - that just doesn't work. But I don't deny they weren't really nice spices
I've really realized that LFS, helps take any negative energy you have, and helps you forget it. That's what I've done after recent social events (Yes Kev, now I'm single, you can take a run at me... :hide, and it seems to help me sorta curb the depressed feelings, and helps uplift yourself, even for a short period of time. The hardest thign for me to deal with is the constant feeling of my stomache exploding, just out of nerves, which is the worst thing.
Lucky I have no classes with this person, it's just a matter of avoiding her, or ignoring her when in my group of friends.
Sleep also sucks, mainly becuase you constantly think about everything, then theres the fact that I can't sleep, and have became a sort of insomniac now.
I don't think this will help much but its become my way of living really. Let me take this time to apologise for my spelling in this post though, been at work all day, tired and my keyboard is not working 100% so all in i expet my spelling to suck.
My way of living life, my ethos really, is that life will have its ups and downs and nothing you can do in the grand scheme of things to control them so why get focused on the times your down and try to change it. Yeah your in a rough patch but focusing on it, for me anyway, winds me up in my own self pity so I know things will get better in time and i just let it change.
), and who'll be able to direct you elsewhere if they can't handle it, might be a lifesaver.
