Okay, may I just break down what you said into bite size chunks and comment.
1. No one forces you to do 5 lap races. There are servers which do longer racing, and there are league racing servers again with longer more tactical racing. But it's nice to just have a quick race after a day in the office to chill out without worrying about pitstop strategies.
2. I always say "Hi" to people who join a server (unless I'm busy not crashing), and most people I see online do the same. Some people do it fanatically!
3. Sarcasm is a fact of life. You'll get in it Counterstrike, LFS, or in the local supermarket with your friends. Learn to cope with it or ignore it.
4. People only say noob for a reason. If you crash lots, or cause crashes, or do something silly then there is a chance you'll be unfairly called a noob. If you race (or drift) like the others in the server then they won't know your a newbie unles you give them evidence.
5. This forum gets a little heated at times. But it's rare that full blown arguments kick off, and generally there is little damage done. You can shout at scream at one persons arguments in one thread, and be best buddies in another. Most forums are just slanging matches. This one isn't (mostly).
6. I applaud you for trying to do things differently - say longer races. But unfortunately majority rules. As much as I love a good long thrilling race against people of similar speed to me, I know that the opportunities to do this are rare, and the preparations required are too much to do that regularly.
7. The second post in this thread seemed fine to me. He did help, and didn't flame. But to answer your question, there are UK clubs yes. CRC is a club where you prove you're okay a driving and can then join passworded CRC servers with other likeminded people. As for teams, there are also plenty. You might need to hang around a team for a while - LFS Worlds buddy list is great for doing this. I'd recommend teams like dSRC, vMax (obviously
), T7R and the like, but there are more friendly teams than I know the names of (so don't kill me if I didn't mention your team).
8. Flag obeyance is a problem. Most people TRY to obey blue flags, but as they haven't done much lapping they aren't sure what a lappee should do. Some people just don't know what a blue flag is. What can you do? Yellow flags are a bit of a problem - the best way is to deal with each one as circumstance sees fit. If you have a 20 second lead, lift off and make sure it's safe. You'll only lose a couple of seconds. If you're trying to catch someone on the last lap, then don't lift if you think you'll be okay. Remember, you cannot hurt yourself in sim racing (yet) so flag rules are a bit odd. If you want to obey them fine, but if someone doesn't that's his/her choice. They might get away with it, they might not.
9. Throwing a wobbly on a public forum is asking for trouble. Humans are like vultures, in so much that if you show a weakness someone is usually along pretty quick to mock it. You're "I don't want to play anymore" posts have just made things appear much worse than they would have been, so in many ways you only have yourself to blame for the attitude you've attracted.
10. Might I suggest that you DON'T leave LFS just yet, but avoid the forum until things die down again. Read the information herein by all means, and get the lay of the land and the people. In LFS itself, say hi to people (but don't expect a reply if people are racing), be nice, and do whatever you can to avoid accidents (I'm not saying you cause them though). If you race someone you like or had a good race with, add them to your LFS Buddy list so you can find them in the future. Keep doing this and you'll find a warmth and friendliness I've not found in any single player game or any other multiplayer game. If you don't want to try again, then I'm sorry but LFS clearly wasn't for you, and the intricacies of the simulation have obviously passed you by.
What games/sims do you play? And what do they offer that LFS can't?