Hi guys.

Happy 232nd birthday, America.

w00t!

Too bad it's a miserable, rainy, gloomy, muggy day here in NJ...

Lerts, have you been hacking into other peoples accounts again ?

This isn't lerts, I promise.

Just a simple thread celebrating our day of independence from yr horrible British oppression.

lol happy bday.

Why did I not start a thread on Canada day???? O_O

Man, the Duke would be proud.

Quote from xaotik :

Man, the Duke would be proud.

Amazing.

Quote from evilpimp :

lol happy bday.

Why did I not start a thread on Canada day???? O_O

And what about Irelands independance from the brits too?

Happy bday America :o

NSFW

http://www.break.com/index/america-rules-england-sucks.html

Quote :

To The Citizens Of The United States Of America,

In The Light Of Your Failure To Elect A Competent President Of The Usa And Thus To Govern Yourselves, We Hereby Give Notice Of The Revocation Of Your Independence, Effective 9pm British Summer Time Today.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth Ii Will Resume Monarchical Duties Over All States, Commonwealths And Other Territories. Except Utah, Which She Does Not Fancy.

Your New Prime Minister (the Right Honourable Gordon Brown Mp, For The 97.85% Of You Who Have Until Now Been Unaware That There Is A World Outside Your Borders) Will Appoint A Minister For America Without The Need For Further Elections.

The House Of Representatives And The Senate Will Be Disbanded.

A Questionnaire Will Be Circulated Next Year To Determine Whether Any Of You Noticed. To Aid In The Transition To A British Overseas Territory, The Following Rules Are Introduced With Immediate Effect:

1. You Should Look Up "revocation" In The Oxford English Dictionary. Then Look Up "aluminium." Check The Pronunciation Guide. You Will Be Amazed At Just How Wrongly You Have Been Pronouncing It.

The Letter 'u' Will Be Reinstated In Words Such As 'favour' And 'neighbour'; Skipping The Letter 'u' Is Nothing More Than Laziness On Your Part. Likewise, You Will Learn To Spell 'doughnut' Without Skipping Half The Letters.

You Will End Your Love Affair With The Letter 'z' (pronounced 'zed' Not 'zee') And The Suffix "ize" Will Be Replaced By The Suffix "ise."

Generally, You Should Raise Your Vocabulary To Acceptable Levels. Look Up “vocabulary." Using The Same Thirty Seven Words Interspersed With Filler Noises Such As "uhh", "like", And "you Know" Is An Unacceptable And Inefficient Form Of Communication.

Look Up "interspersed."

There Will Be No More 'bleeps' In The Jerry Springer Show. If You're Not Old Enough To Cope With Bad Language Then You Shouldn't Have Chat Shows. When You Learn To Develop Your Vocabulary, Then You Won't Have To Use Bad Language As Often.

2. There Is No Such Thing As "us English." We Will Let Microsoft Know On Your Behalf. The Microsoft Spell-checker Will Be Adjusted To Take Account Of The Reinstated Letter 'u' And The Elimination Of "-ize."

3. You Should Learn To Distinguish The English And Australian Accents. It Really Isn't That Hard. English Accents Are Not Limited To Cockney, Upper-class Twit Or Mancunian (daphne In Frasier).

You Will Also Have To Learn How To Understand Regional Accents; Dramas Such As "taggart" Will No Longer Be Broadcast With Subtitles.

While We're Talking About Regions, You Must Learn That There Is No Such Place As Devonshire In England. The Name Of The County Is "devon." If You Persist In Calling It Devonshire, All American States Will Become "shires" E.g. Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire.

4. Hollywood Will Be Required Occasionally To Cast English Actors As The Good Guys. Hollywood Will Be Required To Cast English Actors To Play English Characters.

British Sitcoms Such As "men Behaving Badly" Or "red Dwarf" Will Not Be Re-cast And Watered Down For A Wishy-washy American Audience Who Can't Cope With The Humour Of Occasional Political Incorrectness. Popular British Films Such As The Italian Job And The Wicker Man Should Never Be Remade.

5. You Should Relearn Your Original National Anthem, "god Save The Queen", But Only After Fully Carrying Out Task 1. We Would Not Want You To Get Confused And Give Up Half Way Through.

6. You Will No Longer Be Allowed To Own Or Carry Guns. You Will No Longer Be Allowed To Own Or Carry Anything More Dangerous In Public Than A Vegetable Peeler. Because We Don't Believe You Are Sensible Enough To Handle Potentially Dangerous Items, You Will Require A Permit If You Wish To Carry A Vegetable Peeler In Public.

7. The 4th Of July Is No Longer A Public Holiday. The 2nd Of November Will Be A New National Holiday, But Only In Britain. It Will Be Called "indecisive Day."

8. All American Cars Are Hereby Banned. They Are Crap, And It Is For Your Own Good. When We Show You German Or Japanese Cars, You Will Understand What We Mean. All Road Intersections Will Be Replaced With Roundabouts. You Will Start Driving On The Left With Immediate Effect. At The Same Time, You Will Go Metric With Immediate Effect And Without The Benefit Of Conversion Tables. Roundabouts And Metrication Will Help You Understand The British Sense Of Humour.

9. You Will Learn To Make Real Chips. Those Things You Call 'french Fries' Are Not Real Chips. Fries Aren't Even French, They Are Belgian Though 97.85% Of You (including The Guy Who Discovered Fries While In Europe) Are Not Aware Of A Country Called Belgium. Those Things You Insist On Calling Potato Chips Are Properly Called "crisps." Real Chips Are Thick Cut And Fried In Animal Fat. The Traditional Accompaniment To Chips Is Beer Which Should Be Served Warm And Flat. Waitresses Will Be Trained To Be More Aggressive With Customers.

10. As A Sign Of Penance 5 Grams Of Sea Salt Per Cup Will Be Added To All Tea Made Within The Commonwealth Of Massachusetts, This Quantity To Be Doubled For Tea Made Within The City Of Boston Itself.

11. The Cold Tasteless Stuff You Insist On Calling "beer" Is Not Actually Beer At All, It Is Lager . From August 1st Only Proper British Real Ales Will Be Referred To As "beer," And European Brews Of Known And Accepted Provenance Will Be Referred To As "lager." The Substances Formerly Known As "american Beer" Will Henceforth Be Referred To As "near-frozen Gnat's Urine," With The Exception Of The Product Of The American Budweiser Company Whose Product Will Be Referred To As "weak Near-frozen Gnat's Urine." This Will Allow True Budweiser (as Manufactured For The Last 1000 Years In The Czech Republic) To Be Sold Without Risk Of Confusion Or Legal Threats.

12. From The 18th Of July The Uk Will Harmonise Petrol (or "gasoline," As You Will Be Permitted To Keep Calling It Until The 6th) Prices With The Former Usa. The Uk Will Harmonise Its Prices To Those Of The Former Usa And The Former Usa Will, In Return, Adopt Uk Petrol Prices (roughly $10/us Gallon -- Get Used To It).

13. You Will Learn To Resolve Personal Issues Without Using Guns, Lawyers Or Therapists. The Fact That You Need So Many Lawyers And Therapists Shows That You're Not Adult Enough To Be Independent. Guns Should Only Be Handled By Adults. If You're Not Adult Enough To Sort Things Out Without Suing Someone Or Speaking To A Therapist, Then You're Not Grown Up Enough To Handle A Gun.

14. Please Tell Us Who Killed Jfk. It's Been Driving Us Crazy.

15. Tax Collectors From Her Majesty's Government Will Be With You Shortly To Ensure The Acquisition Of All Revenues Due (backdated To 1776).

Thank You For Your Co-operation.

:d

Quote from DeadWolfBones :

This isn't lerts, I promise.

Just a simple thread celebrating our day of independence from yr horrible British oppression.

Doh :doh: 4th of July, sorry, never realised.

And we're only horrible to those filthy smelly ex-colonies that jumped ship just coz they wanted a bit of pah inde-bloody-pendence. You fools, you'll see, we shall avenge all those who turned their backs on us. We shall once again rule the waves, we shall once again be called a Great Nation, indeed a GREAT BRITAIN, we shall fight them on the.....oh sod it, who the hell am i trying to kid. We suck, it's official.

Now piss off and go play with your bloody base balls.

Quote from OldBloke :

NSFW

http://www.break.com/index/america-rules-england-sucks.html

GO America!

Quote from Crazyy :

GO America!

racist

We're all living in America,
America is wonderful.
We're all living in America,
Amerika, Amerika.

When I'm dancing, I want to lead,
even if you all are spinning alone,
let's exercise a little control.
I'll show you how it's done right.
We form a nice round (circle),
freedom is playing on all the fiddles,
music is coming out of the White House,
and near Paris stands Mickey Mouse.

We're all living in America...

I know steps that are very useful,
and I'll protect you from missteps,
and anyone who doesn't want to dance in the end,
just doesn't know that he has to dance!
We form a nice round (circle),
I'll show you the right direction,
to Africa goes Santa Claus,
and near Paris stands Mickey Mouse.

We're all living in America,
America is wonderful.
We're all living in America,
Amerika, Amerika.
We're all living in America,
Coca-Cola, Wonderbra,
We're all living in America,
Amerika, Amerika.

This is not a love song,
this is not a love song.
I don't sing my mother tongue,
No, this is not a love song.

We're all living in America,
Amerika is wonderful.
We're all living in America,
Amerika, Amerika.
We're all living in America,
Coca-Cola, sometimes WAR,
We're all living in America,
Amerika, Amerika.

Helpful bolding, there.

I just wanted to point out great lyrics.

Fonneh, today one of our cities have 400 years (Quebec City). So Canada?? F*$K YEAH WITH A BOTTLE OF LUBE AND CONDOMS!

Quote from OldBloke :

http://www.break.com/index/america-rules-england-sucks.html

Wow, who'd have believed it. The yanks really can do humour!

Fantastic clip.

Happy Birthday Americaland.

Quote from duke_toaster :

:d

Awesome.

Happy Birthday Americashire.

mmmmmmmmmmmm America stole the idea of the tail wing off the British so Screw America with a passion plus there fat, dum, and kill friendly soldiers

Quote from rc10racer :

kill friendly soldiers

+1

Bunch of australians got killed from friendly fire by americans...

Quote from Riders Motion :

(Quebec City). So Canada?? F*$K YEAH WITH A BOTTLE OF LUBE AND CONDOMS!

One would of thought that the inclusion of "City" in a city's name would be a hint that any celebration related to it wouldn't be nationwide, but then again "canada" apparently does mean "village".

Quote from duke_toaster :

:d

That made me chuckle for some time. Nice one.

Happy 4th of july! :riceboy: