At least he didn't create a new one
He contributed to the thread with his bump, and people like you still crap yourselves because he didnt make another thread but you want an excuse to flame him.
At least he didn't create a new one
He contributed to the thread with his bump, and people like you still crap yourselves because he didnt make another thread but you want an excuse to flame him.
you're starting the fight here 
Sorry, I kind of snapped there. When someone bumps a thread, even with good content, someone flames that person. If you create a new thread, someone will say "Search" and post link(s) to other threads. It's a lose/lose situation.
Well, to contribute to the thread, I present to you something unoriginal but still funny!
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=nTasT5h0LEg
Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to death. They are close to just lying down and waiting for the inevitable, when all of a sudden.......
"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon I is sure of eet."
"Si, Luis eet smells like bacon to meee."
So, with renewed strength, they struggle up the next sand dune, and there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.
There's raw bacon, dripping with moisture, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon... every imaginable kind of cured pig meat.
"Pepe, Pepe, we is saved. "Eees a bacon tree."
"Luis, are you sure ees not a meerage? We ees in the Desert don't forget."
"Pepe when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon... ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree".
And with that... Luis Races towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe following closely behind, when all of a sudden, a machine gun opens up,and Luis is cut down in his tracks. It is clear he is mortally wounded but, a true friend that he is, he manages to warn Pepe with his dying breath.
"Pepe... go back man,you was right ees not a bacon tree."
"Luis Luis mi amigo... what ees it?
"Pepe... ees not a bacon tree...
Ees
Ees
Ees
Ees
Ees
Ees
Ees
Eees a Ham Bush.
"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon I is sure of eet."
"Si, Luis eet smells like bacon to meee."
So, with renewed strength, they struggle up the next sand dune, and there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.
There's raw bacon, dripping with moisture, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon... every imaginable kind of cured pig meat.
"Pepe, Pepe, we is saved. "Eees a bacon tree."
"Luis, are you sure ees not a meerage? We ees in the Desert don't forget."
"Pepe when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon... ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree".
And with that... Luis Races towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe following closely behind, when all of a sudden, a machine gun opens up,and Luis is cut down in his tracks. It is clear he is mortally wounded but, a true friend that he is, he manages to warn Pepe with his dying breath.
"Pepe... go back man,you was right ees not a bacon tree."
"Luis Luis mi amigo... what ees it?
"Pepe... ees not a bacon tree...
Ees
Ees
Ees
Ees
Ees
Ees
Ees
Eees a Ham Bush.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry. 
Hahaha nice one man
ye olde joke, everybody probaply knows this but here it goes:
if you ever get a Nascar fan angry, just run and turn right...
if you ever get a Nascar fan angry, just run and turn right...
Why I fired my Secretary
Last week was my birthday
and I didn't feel very well
waking up on that morning.
I went downstairs for breakfast
hoping my wife would be pleasant
and say, "Happy Birthday!", and
possibly have a small present for me
As it turned out,
she barely said good morning,
let alone "Happy Birthday."
I thought...
Well, that's marriage for you,
but the kids....
They will remember.
My kids came bounding down stairs to
breakfast and didn't say a word.
So when I left for the office,
I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.
As I walked into my office,
my secretary Jane said,
"Good Morning Boss,
and by the way Happy Birthday! "
It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.
I worked until one o'clock,
when Jane
knocked on my door
and said, "You know,
It's such a beautiful day outside,
and it is your Birthday,
what do you say we go out to lunch,
just you and me."
I said, "Thanks, Jane,
that's the greatest thing
I've heard all day.
Let's go!"
We went to lunch.
But we didn't go
where we normally would go.
She chose instead a quiet bistro
with a private table.
We had two martinis each
and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.
On the way back to the office,
Jane said, "You know,
It's such a beautiful day...
We don't need to go straight back to the office, Do We ?"
I responded,
"I guess not. What do you have in mind?"
She said, "Let's drop by my apartment,
it's just around the corner."
After arriving at her apartment,
Jane turned to me and said,
" Boss, if you don't mind,
I'm going to step into the bedroom
for just a moment.
I'll be right back."
"Ok," I
nervously replied.
She went into the bedroom and,
after a couple of minutes,
she came out carrying a huge birthday cake .
Followed by my wife, my kids,
and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing "Happy
Birthday.
And I just sat there...
On the couch...
Naked.
Last week was my birthday
and I didn't feel very well
waking up on that morning.
I went downstairs for breakfast
hoping my wife would be pleasant
and say, "Happy Birthday!", and
possibly have a small present for me
As it turned out,
she barely said good morning,
let alone "Happy Birthday."
I thought...
Well, that's marriage for you,
but the kids....
They will remember.
My kids came bounding down stairs to
breakfast and didn't say a word.
So when I left for the office,
I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.
As I walked into my office,
my secretary Jane said,
"Good Morning Boss,
and by the way Happy Birthday! "
It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.
I worked until one o'clock,
when Jane
knocked on my door
and said, "You know,
It's such a beautiful day outside,
and it is your Birthday,
what do you say we go out to lunch,
just you and me."
I said, "Thanks, Jane,
that's the greatest thing
I've heard all day.
Let's go!"
We went to lunch.
But we didn't go
where we normally would go.
She chose instead a quiet bistro
with a private table.
We had two martinis each
and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.
On the way back to the office,
Jane said, "You know,
It's such a beautiful day...
We don't need to go straight back to the office, Do We ?"
I responded,
"I guess not. What do you have in mind?"
She said, "Let's drop by my apartment,
it's just around the corner."
After arriving at her apartment,
Jane turned to me and said,
" Boss, if you don't mind,
I'm going to step into the bedroom
for just a moment.
I'll be right back."
"Ok," I
nervously replied.
She went into the bedroom and,
after a couple of minutes,
she came out carrying a huge birthday cake .
Followed by my wife, my kids,
and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing "Happy
Birthday.
And I just sat there...
On the couch...
Naked.
Best laugh for ages...quoted!!
Eddie Izzard - Death Star Canteen
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Sv5iEK-IEzw
Star Wars Episode III Alternate Ending
http://youtube.com/watch?v=nw2h95rAmFQ
Darth Vader being a smartass
http://youtube.com/watch?v=5blbv4WFriM
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Sv5iEK-IEzw
Star Wars Episode III Alternate Ending
http://youtube.com/watch?v=nw2h95rAmFQ
Darth Vader being a smartass
http://youtube.com/watch?v=5blbv4WFriM
this made my day http://www.lfsforum.net/showthread.php?t=46084
Roflmao
Would be kinda ok if he said he would use patch x demo.
I got some jokes for you ppl, starting with cumulus
Betrayal: Commiting suicide with a stab in the back.
Luck: Getting ran over by an ambulance
Slowness: Making a one-man race and finishing second.
Strength: Get bent
Vegetarianism: Taking your girlfriend to a bush and f* the bush
Nothing To Do: Entering the internet and reading this crap
_______________________________________________________
Now a "When you realize you're an alcoholic/drunk" text.
You realize you're an alcoholic/drunk when...
...You detect traces of blood in the booze running through your veins
...When you can't even argument back at things that don't even move
...The whole bar salutes you when you enter it
...Your twin sons are called Carlsberg and Budweiser
...You wake up with the booze breath of the dog that passed out after spending the whole night licking you
...Mosquitos get dizzy after stinging you.
Another drunk joke:
Two drunk guys were walking in the night, and one of them went to a Jazz concert, performed by John Coltrane. He says:
W- Blake, I'm telling you, the place where I was last night was a really fancy place! They even had golden toilet seats!
B- It can't be true Walker, there are no golden toilet seats!
W- But I swear, they were golden! See the security guard over there? He knows that I was there to see John play!
Walker goes near the security guard and asks him:
W- Hey, officer, isn't it true, that there are golden toilet seats?
s- Golden toilet seats, huh? John, the guy that took a sh!t on your Saxophone is here!
______________________________________________________________________________
Oh, whatever, let any kind of joke come in this post!
There's this blonde girl driving a car in a neighborhood, and then she sees a guy crossing the road, and she had no chance to brake in time, the guy backed off though, but still got ran over. He was lucky to be uninjured after just getting his legs ran over by a blonde in an old Mini Cooper. Says the blonde:
-Watch it!
Says the guy, lying down:
-Why, are you gonna make reverse, you stupid b*?
Question: Why did the rooster cross the road?
Answers:
KID: Because it wanted to get to the other side.
ELEMENTARY TEACHER: Because it did so.
POLIANE: Because it was happy.
PLATAN: Because it was searching for the Good.
ARISTHOTELS: It's the roosters' nature.
NELSON RODRIGUES: Because he saw his sister-in-law, a beautiful chicken in the other side.
MARX: The current state of the moving forces was looking for a new breed of roosters, that were capable of crossing the road.
MOSES: A voice from heaven said :"Rooster! Cross the road!" He did so and everybody lived in peace.
CAPTAIN KIRK: To go where no other rooster has ever been before.
AMIR KLINK: To masturbate in a different place.
MARTIN LUTHER KING: I had a dream. I saw a world where every rooster would be free to cross the road without suffering any kind of discriminations.
MAQUIAVEL: Who cares? He just crossed it, end of story.
FREUD: The concern with the fact that the rooster has crossed the road is a symptom
of his sexual shyness.
LUKE SKYWALKER: Because the force was on his side.
DARWIN: During large periods of time, roosters have been genetically selected, so now they have a genetic change, allowing them to cross roads.
EINSTEIN: If the rooster crossed the road or the road moved under the rooster, depends on the point of view. Everything is relative.
HEMINGWAY: To die. Alone. In the rain.
GEORGE ORWELL: To escape the pigs' dictatorship.
POT SMOKER (ON DRUGS): It was a trip...
SOCRATES: All I know is that I don't know.
SURFER: He crossed it, man....It was pretty cool, awesome animal...Awesome...YEAH!
__________________________(sorry for posting wrong names)____________________________
Good, Bad and Horrible news:
1st:
GOOD: Your wife is pregnant.
BAD: They're quadruplets.
HORRIBLE: You've done a vasectomy last year and didn't tell her.
2nd:
GOOD: Your wife won't talk to you.
BAD: She wants divorce.
HORRIBLE: She's a lawyer.
3rd:
GOOD: Your son is undergoing puberty and becoming a man.
BAD: He's involved with your neighbor.
HORRIBLE: So are you.
3rd:
GOOD: Your son is locked in his room, studying for a long time.
BAD: You find a pile of porn movies under his bed.
HORRIBLE: All of them include you and your wife.
4th:
GOOD: Your daughter has found her first job.
BAD: She makes massages even in the private areas.
HORRIBLE: Your football mates are her clients.
EVEN WORSE: She makes 10 times more money than you and is planning to renew the whole house, plus buying you a new car that is a piece of crap which isn't even worth being in the 99 cent store.
(correct me for gramatical mistakes)
Betrayal: Commiting suicide with a stab in the back.
Luck: Getting ran over by an ambulance
Slowness: Making a one-man race and finishing second.
Strength: Get bent
Vegetarianism: Taking your girlfriend to a bush and f* the bush
Nothing To Do: Entering the internet and reading this crap
_______________________________________________________
Now a "When you realize you're an alcoholic/drunk" text.
You realize you're an alcoholic/drunk when...
...You detect traces of blood in the booze running through your veins
...When you can't even argument back at things that don't even move
...The whole bar salutes you when you enter it
...Your twin sons are called Carlsberg and Budweiser
...You wake up with the booze breath of the dog that passed out after spending the whole night licking you
...Mosquitos get dizzy after stinging you.
Another drunk joke:
Two drunk guys were walking in the night, and one of them went to a Jazz concert, performed by John Coltrane. He says:
W- Blake, I'm telling you, the place where I was last night was a really fancy place! They even had golden toilet seats!
B- It can't be true Walker, there are no golden toilet seats!
W- But I swear, they were golden! See the security guard over there? He knows that I was there to see John play!
Walker goes near the security guard and asks him:
W- Hey, officer, isn't it true, that there are golden toilet seats?
s- Golden toilet seats, huh? John, the guy that took a sh!t on your Saxophone is here!
______________________________________________________________________________
Oh, whatever, let any kind of joke come in this post!
There's this blonde girl driving a car in a neighborhood, and then she sees a guy crossing the road, and she had no chance to brake in time, the guy backed off though, but still got ran over. He was lucky to be uninjured after just getting his legs ran over by a blonde in an old Mini Cooper. Says the blonde:
-Watch it!
Says the guy, lying down:
-Why, are you gonna make reverse, you stupid b*?
Question: Why did the rooster cross the road?
Answers:
KID: Because it wanted to get to the other side.
ELEMENTARY TEACHER: Because it did so.
POLIANE: Because it was happy.
PLATAN: Because it was searching for the Good.
ARISTHOTELS: It's the roosters' nature.
NELSON RODRIGUES: Because he saw his sister-in-law, a beautiful chicken in the other side.
MARX: The current state of the moving forces was looking for a new breed of roosters, that were capable of crossing the road.
MOSES: A voice from heaven said :"Rooster! Cross the road!" He did so and everybody lived in peace.
CAPTAIN KIRK: To go where no other rooster has ever been before.
AMIR KLINK: To masturbate in a different place.
MARTIN LUTHER KING: I had a dream. I saw a world where every rooster would be free to cross the road without suffering any kind of discriminations.
MAQUIAVEL: Who cares? He just crossed it, end of story.
FREUD: The concern with the fact that the rooster has crossed the road is a symptom
of his sexual shyness.
LUKE SKYWALKER: Because the force was on his side.
DARWIN: During large periods of time, roosters have been genetically selected, so now they have a genetic change, allowing them to cross roads.
EINSTEIN: If the rooster crossed the road or the road moved under the rooster, depends on the point of view. Everything is relative.
HEMINGWAY: To die. Alone. In the rain.
GEORGE ORWELL: To escape the pigs' dictatorship.
POT SMOKER (ON DRUGS): It was a trip...
SOCRATES: All I know is that I don't know.
SURFER: He crossed it, man....It was pretty cool, awesome animal...Awesome...YEAH!
__________________________(sorry for posting wrong names)____________________________
Good, Bad and Horrible news:
1st:
GOOD: Your wife is pregnant.
BAD: They're quadruplets.
HORRIBLE: You've done a vasectomy last year and didn't tell her.
2nd:
GOOD: Your wife won't talk to you.
BAD: She wants divorce.
HORRIBLE: She's a lawyer.
3rd:
GOOD: Your son is undergoing puberty and becoming a man.
BAD: He's involved with your neighbor.
HORRIBLE: So are you.
3rd:
GOOD: Your son is locked in his room, studying for a long time.
BAD: You find a pile of porn movies under his bed.
HORRIBLE: All of them include you and your wife.
4th:
GOOD: Your daughter has found her first job.
BAD: She makes massages even in the private areas.
HORRIBLE: Your football mates are her clients.
EVEN WORSE: She makes 10 times more money than you and is planning to renew the whole house, plus buying you a new car that is a piece of crap which isn't even worth being in the 99 cent store.
(correct me for gramatical mistakes)
heres a crappy one.
---------------
3 friends were stuck on an island 1 was blonde, 1 was a redhead, and hte last was a brunette and find a genee, he says, "i will grant you each 1 wish, but only if u think it." the redhead thinks of home and appears at home, the brunette thinks of her home also and appears home, the blonde thinks and vanishes
---------------
3 friends were stuck on an island 1 was blonde, 1 was a redhead, and hte last was a brunette and find a genee, he says, "i will grant you each 1 wish, but only if u think it." the redhead thinks of home and appears at home, the brunette thinks of her home also and appears home, the blonde thinks and vanishes
i dont get it
Blondes don't think about anything. That's why they vanish. (not that they don't but that's what the joke says)
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”
The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”
The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“
I actually thought it meant the blonde was homeless, which worked well enough for me.
"Dear Deirdre" from The Scum... Eat your heart out!..
(Almost deserves its own thread!)
(Almost deserves its own thread!)
http://www.maniacworld.com/maze_game.htm
play that game at last level....with volume is prefer because its helps a lot!
play that game at last level....with volume is prefer because its helps a lot!
I love that game, so relaxing for when I'm stressed out.
But is it just me, or does the sound only come on late level 3? Is it some bug. Speakers go full volume BTW cause the music is quiet classical, calming
But is it just me, or does the sound only come on late level 3? Is it some bug. Speakers go full volume BTW cause the music is quiet classical, calming
if you press the left mouse button, you could just skip right across the black outline
,or what to call it..
The Jokes & Funny Links Thread
(58 posts, started )
FGED GREDG RDFGDR GSFDG