Honestly, I think I'd enjoy that more. Giving me a purpose and a challenge.
For me, I was too scared to ask a girl out in person. I sort of did over facebook, but it obviously didn't work. But the thing is, there aren't any other girls that I have come across that I seem to like. But I do not feel depressed because of that. Because I know that eventually I might come across someone else that I like, or successfully ask out the girl that I've continually liked. And even if I don't, it doesn't matter. I have an elderly family member who lives alone, and never had a girlfriend in his whole life. He isn't depressed though, because I guess he just accepted the fact that he was fine being alone. If I do end up alone for the rest of my life, then oh well. Whatever happens will happen. I'm not going to worry about anything, because it is a waste of time.
... Heres how pathetic I am - I ended up getting asked out by the girl that I dated for 4 months (and likely will be dating her again in a day or so).
Go do something then.
People that die at 20 from natural causes are usually living their life to the full potentional.
I love my life.
I'm only 17, and wasted the first 16 odd years of my life. Only this passed year have i actually began to "live"
Seriously...get out there and have fun.
Don't worry about consequences, don't worry about parents, don't worry about what MAY happen. Just have fun and live your life.
My version of fun may be a bit different, but hey..atleast im enjoying my life.
If shes stuck around for 4 months while you've "dated" her(Which is a seriously long time..) if you like her, and were just to scared to ask her previously, then go for it...
yea but i don't wanna be alone for the rest of my life
Can everyone see the trend in this thread?
4WH we all feel just the way you do ( As well as all the others who have posted here.) on occasion. I find for me volunteering and helping others helps me to feel better.
And I would bet a million bucks (If I had a million
) that 95% of the people on this forum have felt the same as the rest of us from time to time. Trust me when I say if you seek some help or understanding from someone it will help you feel better.
It is much harder when you are a teenager. Your emotions are so strong and I know for myself no adult could understand what I was going through.
Well I can tell you there are some of us that do remember what it is like!! I think there are quite a few older adults that play this game that haven't forgotten how to be a kid
Thats why we still play video games and haven't conformed to the (You need to grow up and be serious and have no fun club)
Well this old dude needs to go to bed I'm friggin tired.
But I will say this, it makes me happy to see people reach out and help and talk to someone when they need it.
Thanks Everyone for making my week!!!
4WH we all feel just the way you do ( As well as all the others who have posted here.) on occasion. I find for me volunteering and helping others helps me to feel better.
And I would bet a million bucks (If I had a million
) that 95% of the people on this forum have felt the same as the rest of us from time to time. Trust me when I say if you seek some help or understanding from someone it will help you feel better. It is much harder when you are a teenager. Your emotions are so strong and I know for myself no adult could understand what I was going through.
Well I can tell you there are some of us that do remember what it is like!! I think there are quite a few older adults that play this game that haven't forgotten how to be a kid
Thats why we still play video games and haven't conformed to the (You need to grow up and be serious and have no fun club)Well this old dude needs to go to bed I'm friggin tired.
But I will say this, it makes me happy to see people reach out and help and talk to someone when they need it.
Thanks Everyone for making my week!!!
Todd you have mistaken this thread for the senile dimentia thread mate 
. Now of to bed with your coco old man, your nurse will be up to tuck you in shortly when she's finished with me 
. Now of to bed with your coco old man, your nurse will be up to tuck you in shortly when she's finished with me Nah, I dunno... basically we dated for 4 months, and then we kinda had a fight, and then within... 48 hours we're back together again... the joys of being a teenager? 
Random relationship breaks all around.
Random relationship breaks all around.I guess that's when dudes give up everything and travel the world on a motorbike?
When you are depressed you are less pre-disposed to talking, and people tell you to "make an effort" and that's what you think you should do - but really it's quite the opposite. If you stop trying so hard things will come naturally.
Dougie mentioned he was unable to talk to a cute girl in the canteen the other day. I think that's because he thought she was cute, half his brain was thinking about how wonderful it would be if they where together, and the other half was watching her eat her sandwich and thinking "I wish that ham and cheese was my look that's a nice cloud pattern up in the sky".
When you look past a persons appearance and start wondering how beautiful their mind is you will find it easier to engage with that person, stop worry about how hot her ass is.
The weather is just a random conversation topic, but there are others - you can just be random "Hey my friend used to have a jacket like that, she was a looker aswell, I remember one time she had that on and we where mucking about wearing our hoodies mugging grannies and..." .... 'oh wow, I mug grannies too' etc etc.
Talk about anything random, there is no need to steer a conversation when it can far easier be dealt with using a steam roller. If something occurs to you then use it, no matter how out of place it might be. Talk about something that interests you, "I'm putting a new gearbox on my tractor this weekend" might be a thought that's in your head, so use it and add, "what about you, anything much?" ... 'no, but you have a tractor?'... queue conversation about hens cows and slurry, followed by talking about her experiences of farms etc etc etc...
It really is that simple. Me, i'd be talking about whats on my mind because i'm scatty and random and if that meens talking about the fact i've got nothing to say then I guess something like this would happen, "Don't you hate it when you see someone you quite fancy and the only thing you can think to say is that you cant think of anything to say because she's so damn hot". If she no replies or makes an empty responce then a joke about her having something in common comes next... or maybe she will provide the topic, in which case there'd be some joke about her not fancying me and being all cut up and over dramatic about it - or something.
Dougie mentioned he was unable to talk to a cute girl in the canteen the other day. I think that's because he thought she was cute, half his brain was thinking about how wonderful it would be if they where together, and the other half was watching her eat her sandwich and thinking "I wish that ham and cheese was my look that's a nice cloud pattern up in the sky".
When you look past a persons appearance and start wondering how beautiful their mind is you will find it easier to engage with that person, stop worry about how hot her ass is.
The weather is just a random conversation topic, but there are others - you can just be random "Hey my friend used to have a jacket like that, she was a looker aswell, I remember one time she had that on and we where mucking about wearing our hoodies mugging grannies and..." .... 'oh wow, I mug grannies too' etc etc.
Talk about anything random, there is no need to steer a conversation when it can far easier be dealt with using a steam roller. If something occurs to you then use it, no matter how out of place it might be. Talk about something that interests you, "I'm putting a new gearbox on my tractor this weekend" might be a thought that's in your head, so use it and add, "what about you, anything much?" ... 'no, but you have a tractor?'... queue conversation about hens cows and slurry, followed by talking about her experiences of farms etc etc etc...
It really is that simple. Me, i'd be talking about whats on my mind because i'm scatty and random and if that meens talking about the fact i've got nothing to say then I guess something like this would happen, "Don't you hate it when you see someone you quite fancy and the only thing you can think to say is that you cant think of anything to say because she's so damn hot". If she no replies or makes an empty responce then a joke about her having something in common comes next... or maybe she will provide the topic, in which case there'd be some joke about her not fancying me and being all cut up and over dramatic about it - or something.
Another thing that pisses me off, is that people tell me that I never smile. Then, people end up randomly telling me to smile. And then at that point I don't even want to. And then I just end up smiling thinking "whatever, if it gets this person to shut up then I will". I don't understand why people seem to think that if you smile it means you're happy and if you don't ever smile it means that you're never happy. That's simply not true, it can be proven by looking at all those people in movies who are really famous, and smiling on the red carpet. When they go home they are drunk, miserable, and depressed.
Smiling is a level 5 biological. It's a contagion, a disease. Catch any hint of someone smiling, it's only a matter of time before you have it for life. Sometimes you can repress it, but it always keeps coming back. Since one of the first things in this world you will experience is someone smiling at you, you realise you never had a chance.
Being told to smile can be annoying, true, I had that. At some point I stopped listening and started smiling when I felt like, not when someone told me I felt like it
People used to keep telling me I look miserable too. To the stage where I considered making a t-shirt that said "I'm Fine" just so that people wouldn't keep asking. Some people have a naturally happy face, some of us don't. I actually trained my face to relax into a different position where it feels like I'm smiling even though I don't actually look like it - I just look neutral (where I used to have a natural frown). It's stopped people asking me if I'm okay, so that's enough for me.
At this time of year I get really down myself. I suffer from SAD quite heavily, to the stage where I get feelings of dread just about getting up in the morning. I'm not actively sad, I'm just devoid of all enthusiasm. It's horrible at the time, but I get used to it and it eventually passes (around March).
You can't force yourself to be someone you're not. It accomplishes nothing. You can give the appearance that people "expect" from you, but in the end it's all hollow and you're not further forward than you were before. And you might end up worse because not only are you not happy, you also have someone asking things of you that you don't want to bother with because you don't actually want them there.
Bottom line here is the same thing that any psychologist is going to say - if there's something about your life you're not happy with, change it. If you want a partner you need to put yourself in a position where you're going to find someone. Sitting at home like a recluse isn't going to (a) find or (b) attract anyone.
Talking to people isn't actually that hard. I wish I'd been as confident talking to people when I was at school as I am now. I can strike up a conversation with anyone anywhere because I'm confident enough in myself to do it. I realised you don't need to think about what you're going to say because that's not how conversation works - you either have something to say or you don't. Girls in bars you have a really easy opening (and one I missed a few years ago because I was stupid) - ask them if you can buy them a drink. Don't plan 10 minutes worth of talking because you don't need it and you won't use it. "Can I buy you a drink?" leads to either "yes" or "no". You've a 50% chance of a "no" so there's no point wasting more time than you need. After you get a "yes" you ask what they want. After that you can comment on what they drink. A light-hearted "oh you don't drink that crap, do you?" is guaranteed conversation fuel.
It's really not that difficult.
But you shouldn't do anything just because you think somebody expects it or you feel you should. Anything you start without having actual passion for will fail for sure.
At this time of year I get really down myself. I suffer from SAD quite heavily, to the stage where I get feelings of dread just about getting up in the morning. I'm not actively sad, I'm just devoid of all enthusiasm. It's horrible at the time, but I get used to it and it eventually passes (around March).
You can't force yourself to be someone you're not. It accomplishes nothing. You can give the appearance that people "expect" from you, but in the end it's all hollow and you're not further forward than you were before. And you might end up worse because not only are you not happy, you also have someone asking things of you that you don't want to bother with because you don't actually want them there.
Bottom line here is the same thing that any psychologist is going to say - if there's something about your life you're not happy with, change it. If you want a partner you need to put yourself in a position where you're going to find someone. Sitting at home like a recluse isn't going to (a) find or (b) attract anyone.
Talking to people isn't actually that hard. I wish I'd been as confident talking to people when I was at school as I am now. I can strike up a conversation with anyone anywhere because I'm confident enough in myself to do it. I realised you don't need to think about what you're going to say because that's not how conversation works - you either have something to say or you don't. Girls in bars you have a really easy opening (and one I missed a few years ago because I was stupid) - ask them if you can buy them a drink. Don't plan 10 minutes worth of talking because you don't need it and you won't use it. "Can I buy you a drink?" leads to either "yes" or "no". You've a 50% chance of a "no" so there's no point wasting more time than you need. After you get a "yes" you ask what they want. After that you can comment on what they drink. A light-hearted "oh you don't drink that crap, do you?" is guaranteed conversation fuel.
It's really not that difficult.
But you shouldn't do anything just because you think somebody expects it or you feel you should. Anything you start without having actual passion for will fail for sure.
ha i will never buy a drink for a girl to strike a conversation, ill save all drinks for me and when im drunk ill talk with any stranger girl about anything, id say 9 out of 10 girls will listen and 1 in 50 will give you your phone number
Becky Rose is absolutely on the money. Stop trying so hard, and let life come to you.
That doesn't mean, however, that you should just sit at your desk and wait for life to appear on your keyboard. Just focus on what makes life better (like having a job, meeting with friends, the EASY things) and life has a way of working out the seemingly difficult things all on it's own.
I used to worry about all these things you are worrying about - I used to be a relative recluse, who used to sit at his desk every night talking to e-friends. The best times of my life, I've had outside of the house with friends, and those are the things that shape your life.
Remember, just do the EASY things, and the hard things will come naturally
That doesn't mean, however, that you should just sit at your desk and wait for life to appear on your keyboard. Just focus on what makes life better (like having a job, meeting with friends, the EASY things) and life has a way of working out the seemingly difficult things all on it's own.
I used to worry about all these things you are worrying about - I used to be a relative recluse, who used to sit at his desk every night talking to e-friends. The best times of my life, I've had outside of the house with friends, and those are the things that shape your life.
Remember, just do the EASY things, and the hard things will come naturally
There's a big difference between "listening", "being too polite to run away" and "completely boggling at exactly WTF you're talking about"
I wonder why it's always the men that have to walk up to the women and start a conversation. Why is it that men are expected to ask out women? 
Because It's a sin if one of those angels talk to us first, "She's a whore".
Damn right I am, and there's a reason too...
Before I became infatuated with myself I was a sad miserable bastard with no life too.
usa is different than spain:
in 10 months in the states 6 girls run into me
in my whole life in spain just 3, damm catholics
in 10 months in the states 6 girls run into me
in my whole life in spain just 3, damm catholics
It's seems to me that you are focussing on the lack of a relationship a bit too much.
If there's one thing I've learnt over the years it's the best relationships happen when you least expect them. If you are desperately trying to get involved in one it never happens.
You have to get out more and just live your life. Things have a funny way of just falling into place completely out of the blue.
I've suffered from depression all my life, it's absolutely crippled me. I know you say you don't think you are depressed, but some of the things you have said are classic symptoms of depression.
It's a still vastly misunderstood illness. People who haven't suffered from it generally don't understand. If it's not something people can see they dismiss it.
I hope you don't have depression, and it's just a bit of the usual, perfectly normal, confusing teenage shit that many young people go through. From the responses to your post you can see that you are far from alone in these feelings.
If a bit further down the line you feel that you really are suffering from depression then do get professional help. For some people pills aren't the answer (anti-depressants never helped me in the slightest) Some form of counselling can be beneficial if you find the right person. Just meeting on a regular basis with someone to talk about your issues can be a great help.
Simple things like exercise are fantastic for getting the 'happy chemicals' flowing to the brain.
You have to get out and get into social situations, even though it can be extremely uncomfortable. I wish i could just implement some of my advice into my own life!
From the ages of 15 to 30 i was usually so full of drugs of one kind or another i felt like the most confident person alive, then i finaly realised i couldnt actually get into any social situation without the aid of drink or drugs. I was covering up my lack of self confidence and social ineptitude with substances that made it easy for me to talk to people and feel ununhibited. I was always quite popular, but people only really knew the drugged up Stuart. I was a clown, i made people laugh, i was never short of an invitation to a party. But no one really saw the 'real' me. (people i meet from those days cant belive i'm the same person they knew)
Without the drugs i was a shy, unconfident, depressed, social retard
. I still am really but i can laugh about it now. I know who i am and am certainly happier now i dont worry about "trying to fit in" and i really dont worry about how other people see me. I struggle daily with my depression, but i no longer get suicidal because i've stopped worrying about unimportant things and people.
Be yourself, care about your family (the only people that will, generally speaking, love you unconditionally. I know thats unfortunately not the case for some people, but it is true in the majority of cases) live your life in the way you want to, without harming anyone else. Try to socialise as much as you can, try and keep yourself active.
Sorry, this turned into a bit of a wandering ramble. I had to get some stuff off my chest, a bit of self therapy if you will.
If even a tiny bit of what i've said helps in the smallest way then it was worth it.
Listen to people like Becky who can express this stuff miles better than i can. I can relate to a hell of a lot of the stuff she has said (except the sexual confusion stuff
I'm not confused in the slightest, im just not getting any at the moment, and never will if i cant drag myself out of being a hermit) BE YOURSELF and dont give a shit about what you percive to be other peoples or 'societys' expectations of you.
Hope you get things sorted out. Dont end up like me still struggling with this shit at 37 years old.
Now, get off your computer and go outside into the real world for a bit
Actually, not really.
When somebody says that I should "get out more", my response is always "go where?" I mean, it's easy for people to say that, but more difficult to actually do it. Especially when I don't know where to go. There's not much to do when you're under 18, anyway.
I've been struggling with this for a while. I'm still not getting out as much as I would like to socialise and having to socialise more with my friends via text messages, email, and MSN than I want. Most of my friends do not live locally and many have children now which makes meeting up a rare thing.
For a long time i've been 'looking' for a club where I could do something i'm into, and there just isn't one - so i've decided to take up something new. This week, depending on if I have to work late on the night it's on, i'm going to take up Tae Kwon Do. It will be an introduction to a whole new social circle, help me keep fit, and with a bit of luck will find me a new drinking buddy !
I also bought a bottle of wine and it's my plan to pop round to my neighbours tomorrow night with it and, assuming I can resist chatting her up, have a good natter and moan about the other neighbours. I might also stop by one of my other neighbours for a cup of tea out of the blue one night, and moan to her about all the other neighbours, or the weather, or whatever.
When I moved in to my house I went round to all my neighbours with wine, they where all quite shocked because "people dont do that anymore, oh thats so nice welcome to the community". The fact is there's barely any community here, people stay indoors and live their lives via screens - like I do - but I find that intollerable, I have to socialise, so I turn up randomly with wine and do so...
Try new things, ignore protocols, be yourself.
I think Mr.Gu3st's problems are caused by the fact that he lives in a place where it rains 350 days a year and is just partially cloudy (mind you, not partially sunny) the rest of the year.
Weather will get all of our lives. I wish I could go out, but I can't get to open the door with all the snow outside (it was installed the wrong way around).
Rather more on the subject now: a club isn't a place to, say, literally 'meet' people. Yes, you'll dance (I guess (hope?)), have a few drinks and then go back home, only to find out that there isn't much talk if you go out to the club. The more you'll have will be a nice spot of shouting and will 99% of the time be "YA, LET'S GO OUTSIDE". Once outside, you'll speak for 5 minutes, cool off, and get back in to dance until 4am (there's also a chance you'll get back in dosed with water if you live on an island lost in the sea where it always rains like Mr.Gu3st)
I agree that the 'get a bottle of wine and invite yourself to you neighbor's place' might work, but I feel there's a prejudice about this in the population. People are scared to death of their neighbors. I am scared. And if they're not scared it's because they're too busy hating them. See your neighbor coming down the lane to knock at your door? Most people will actually turn off all the lights and hid themselves to avoid having to answer!
p.s. I like a good chat with my neighbor, on msn. It just makes us feel closer than we actually are.
Weather will get all of our lives. I wish I could go out, but I can't get to open the door with all the snow outside (it was installed the wrong way around).
Rather more on the subject now: a club isn't a place to, say, literally 'meet' people. Yes, you'll dance (I guess (hope?)), have a few drinks and then go back home, only to find out that there isn't much talk if you go out to the club. The more you'll have will be a nice spot of shouting and will 99% of the time be "YA, LET'S GO OUTSIDE". Once outside, you'll speak for 5 minutes, cool off, and get back in to dance until 4am (there's also a chance you'll get back in dosed with water if you live on an island lost in the sea where it always rains like Mr.Gu3st
)I agree that the 'get a bottle of wine and invite yourself to you neighbor's place' might work, but I feel there's a prejudice about this in the population. People are scared to death of their neighbors. I am scared. And if they're not scared it's because they're too busy hating them. See your neighbor coming down the lane to knock at your door? Most people will actually turn off all the lights and hid themselves to avoid having to answer!
p.s. I like a good chat with my neighbor, on msn. It just makes us feel closer than we actually are.
Feeling of emptyness
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