Getting out is the biggest problem for me, and probably why I'm fairly socially inactive. I basically live in the middle of nowhere, the nearest village is full of pikeys (literally), the nearest shopping centre (which has the shops, cinemas, etc.) is just about within a cycle (45 mins cycle, about a 12 mile round trip), and the city is about twice that, which is a bit beyond a cycle. My parents do give me a lift if I ask, but it's really awkward living so far away, as even to get into town is a 20 minute car journey...Even to get a friend to come over or to go to a friend's house requires the use of a transport-enabled third party.

In about a year (a bit less hopefully) I'll have my own car and a full license though, which should make getting around a lot easier. Even in a few weeks, I'll have acess to a car, which should be a bit easier again. The only downside is that I have to carry a passenger who has a full license, for 6 months until I pass my test

Tonight I'm going to try something a bit different, gonna do my homework and then try and fix the knackered water pump on my bike, and listen to some of mah tunes at the same time. Might be a bit better than staying on the PC for the night, plus it's something that badly needs doing. Currently water shoots out of the expansion tank after a few minutes driving, as it boils inside in the rad

E: I do occasionally go to clubs and discos and the like, but around here they're fairly crap. Last one I went to ( a few months back at this stage, if not more) I got a slap from some random pikey and spent the rest of the night in A&E for stitches

Note to self: don't move to a far far away city in Ireland. I agree that living far far away sucks. I'm quite glad that I live in the suburbs. It's close to everything, and even in bus and subway it takes only like 40 minutes to get to the best spots in Montreal. And you don't necessarily have to go downtown to have schome fun.

Quote :

I agree that the 'get a bottle of wine and invite yourself to you neighbor's place' might work, but I feel there's a prejudice about this in the population. People are scared to death of their neighbors.

Funnily enough, one of my neighbours just popped round for a chat. Sadly she's moving on fairly soon. She's such a nice person and i'll be sorry to see her go*.

I do understand what you meen, but actually I think you've slightly miss-interpreted it. What there is is a general reluctance to knock the door and break the ice, when somebody actually plucks up the courage to do that it's suprising just how 'neighbourly' people can be.

There was a time I didnt even know who my neighbours where, these days if I dont know what colour loo roll they've got I consider that a failure on my part.

*She's on my list of girls i'd do if I could.

w4h - do you have a job?

Quote from Becky Rose :

Funnily enough, one of my neighbours just popped round for a chat. Sadly she's moving on fairly soon. She's such a nice person and i'll be sorry to see her go*.

I do understand what you meen, but actually I think you've slightly miss-interpreted it. What there is is a general reluctance to knock the door and break the ice, when somebody actually plucks up the courage to do that it's suprising just how 'neighbourly' people can be.

There was a time I didnt even know who my neighbours where, these days if I dont know what colour loo roll they've got I consider that a failure on my part.

*She's on my list of girls i'd do if I could.

Maybe it's a thing people do in G-B and not in other parts of the world. I just don't see anything of this kind here. Maybe it also has something to do with the size of the city. People in small towns are closer to each other (I guess in... all ways of the term). We're maybe, 30,000 or so around here and I only know the name of the front neighbor. The others, I have no clue

*thanks for the info.

Quote from boosterfire :

Maybe it's a thing people do in G-B and not in other parts of the world. I just don't see anything of this kind here. Maybe it also has something to do with the size of the city. People in small towns are closer to each other (I guess in... all ways of the term). We're maybe, 30,000 or so around here and I only know the name of the front neighbor. The others, I have no clue

*thanks for the info.

tbh I don't think it's a national thing at all, I think it's a people thing - it's down to the people that live in your micro-community.

Anyway we've digressed massively off the point, the original point was that even when it seems there is nothing to do - you can always take up something new, or do something that might not be the norm or 'what people do' but that enables you to meet people and interact in a relaxed manner.

Quote from Jakg :

Get up, get out, get off your PC, get a girl, get a job - get a life (in the nicest possible way - i've realised that i've wasted my childhood and my teens).

Quote from dougie-lampkin :

I'm also in the incredibly empty category...I seem to be socially inept when talking to real people for some reason. Like, Thursday, when I was on work experience, I was alone, with a cute girl, for an hour, in the canteen. I talked about the freakin weather. There was long protracted silences every 30 seconds, then I'd talk more about the weather. I couldn't change the topic no matter what I tried. And then she just gave me a funny look, and I left the room and ate outside.

Sounds familiar

But the weather??? C'mon!!!

Quote from dougie-lampkin :

I have virtually 0 chance of getting a girlfriend, which would pretty much solve my problems (having someone to confide in, socialise with, someone who understands me, someone who I can relate to, etc.). About 90% of my friends are male (as much as I'm sure it doesn't look like it, I am actually straight. I have had a girlfriend before, but she moved house ), and I go to an all-boys school. There is a girls school next door, but they're a pile of skangers and I seriously wouldn't touch them. It's not just me, I don't think anybody in my school would touch them. Most of the girls I've known from primary school have moved on, gone to different schools (obviously :razz, etc.

Ditto above comment. I also go (/went) to an all-boys school, but for 6th form it's mixed. Which is a hell of alot better! (Trust me, mixed is much better than seperate.)

Yeah sure I know quite a few girls, but not sure I'd actually want to go out with any of them (or maybe, none of them would ever want to go out with me :tilt

And Rob, from my (admittedly limited) experience, I'm sure its complete BS that you have 0 chance - you just need to get out and find her. The best way is to just get out more, do more stuff and socialise.

Quote from dougie-lampkin :

So now I end up coming home from school, doing the bare minimum of homework plus a bit of study, then spending the rest of the night, which could be anything up to 8 hours, on the PC, doing nothing productive at all, a few games, and the rest forum whoring or just browsing /b/. And this is every day. Same on weekends. The last time I actually went out with friends was 5 weeks ago, at my friends birthday party. And I had to be persuaded to come along...

Good grief. Are you describing me or you? I can't actually remember the last time I went out with my mates, although thats probably cos they're not really the 'going out' type. And the fact that they ALL live more than 10 mile away. But I also have quite a few friends out of school, from various things. Maybe doing things like swimming/gymming would get you some new friends if you did it relitavely often?

Quote from dougie-lampkin :

Getting ****ing diabetes earlier this year certainly hasn't helped, now I've a list of things I can't do as a profession, I can't touch alcohol unless I'm having a meal, I can't take in any sugar and I have to stab myself every day. I was feeling pretty bad when I was diagnosed, and looking back it's a wonder it didn't throw me over the edge. Feeling like crap, plus being told that I have a life-long terminal illness is just marvellous...

I have a (sort of) friend who has it too. Seems like a bit of a buggar. But at least saying things like 'I have to stab myself every day' show you have a good sense of humour about it. It's obviously something that you just have to deal with, so I say that just try and get on with your life and try not to think too much about it.

Quote from dougie-lampkin :

Don't even know why I'm posting this...I thought it might make me feel a bit better, knowing that someone will actually read how I am, but it doesn't. So I just don't know what to do I don't think there is any one thing I can do, but I wish I could start over, and not be such a pillock. It's too late now, but a couple of years ago, if I'd decided to socialise a bit rather than stay at home all the time, I wouldn't be in this mess...I now have no-one to talk to, no-one to confide in and no-one to really have fun with. It's such a catch situation, the only way to become socially confident is by talking to others, but I can't as I'm a social retard. Sigh...

A problem shared is a problem halved. (Or, seeing as there are thousands of members here, its a problem a thousandthsed (?!))

Quote from AlienT. :

It could be worse mate, you could be Irish as well

LOL

Quote from dougie-lampkin :

I have no problem talking when I'm not face-to-face, and I have time to think about what to say. So I'm fine on t'interwebs or texting. But when I'm actually talking to someone, I just get a fit of panic that I can't think of anything to say, and then I can't, and I'll either end up smiling and nodding or else yapping about something completely irrelevant. Some people don't seem to mind this, but others find it downright creepy and just avoid me. Doesn't help matters And of course, as you say, "men don't have feelings"...But if I had a lady friend who I could actually trust with these things, it wouldn't be a problem...

Ditto the 'are you doing me or you' comment above. At least I'm getting slightly better. And I am truly hopeless at making conversation. Only talk with chatty people

Quote from dougie-lampkin :

The all boys school isn't anyone's fault, there's two co-ed schools in my city, and one is impossible to get into unless you have right of entry, and the other is just for wasters. I'm not complaining about the school I'm in, it's an OK school. It's just I don't get to talk to the opposite sex on a regular basis As for the career choice, they require two different subject lines, and we were supposed to choose our line last year. I had decided to do veterinary, and picked that line, but then I wanted to do deving, and switched to that line. Now I want to do veterinary again, but I'd doubt I'll be allowed to switch again, especially after such a long time. Not being allowed to choose my own path in life as I see fit is kind of a downer, but there's nothing I can do...

There's always University, which one of my friends (who's almost as socially inept as me :P & a computer geek) is at now, and he's having a ball.

Well GL getting that sorted

I still don't know why it was the weather I picked. I distinctly remember at one stage pointing at a cloud and saying how it looked pretty. Oh lawd

Usually I'm not that bad, but she wasn't helping. She seemed more concerned with her cup'a'soup to be honest. I started 90% of the conversation, and she just left it hanging. Although when we arrived in the morning I did have a great chat with her, she actually works at a stud/riding school just down the road from me at weekends. She was a pure posh type though (think Abi from skins :razz, which wasn't a good starting point. The silences were the worst, I just couldn't stand them, and had to say something. Which for some ungodly reason was the weather I asked her everything about her day before that, but she was really shy and ended up just giving single sentences. Which made me think it was me at fault, so I became almost paranoid, and couldn't think of anything meaningful to say...

Apart from that, I get on OK. I even managed to get invited back to one of the vet's houses, albeit only to help her pack boxes for half an hour while killing time (Still, I did get invited back to her house which is like a first for me!)

I am going to try to be more outgoing, but I'm really not sporty, which is a major downfall. My school only caters for hurling, rugby and gaelic football, none of which I'm remotely interested in. The only things I'm really interested in are PCs and cars/bikes, but I'll have to find something else

The diabetes I'm kind of over, the two careers I want to do I'm still alowed to do, and the whole needles thing doesn't really bother me. One of the major problems is having to carry a kit around with me (lucozade, pure glucose tablets, bloods monitoring kit, etc.), but I have it cut down to fit in my pocket

I don't know why I can't talk face-to-face, it's almost like there's a pressure there to say something meaningful or witty. But in a lot of cases, I got nothing. If a conversation steers towards my interests, I can talk all day, but there's only so long you can talk about printed circuit boards before the other person makes an excuse to go...

Uni should be great craic too, looking forward to that, only two years left now. Problem is deciding which one to go to at the moment

I'm a bit better today, I had some fun with my mates today, and it kind of cheered me up.

Quote :

Early recognition of the symptoms of depression is important. While symptoms will vary from person to person, they may include:

• A depressed mood that is difficult to shake off. Yup
• Having no sense of enjoyment or pleasure. Not necessarily, I get enjoyment from some things
• Low self-esteem. Pretty much, not a lot though
• Loss of libido. No way to tell really with no-one to test on :P
• Feeling agitated. Yup, I feel I don't belong anywhere
• Loss of interest in hobbies or pastimes. Definitely, I no longer find PS3 any fun for instance, and cruising on my bike now seems like a waste of petrol and time (though that may be the recession creeping in :P)
• Weight change (loss or gain). God yes, I weigh just under 9 stone and I'm nearly 6'
• Sleep disturbance (unable to get to sleep or waking early). I can go to sleep at 5am, and wake up at 8am and feel fine, or i can go to sleep at 11pm and wake up at lunchtime, and feel like crap. Also I don't feel tired at all until after 2AM...
• Feeling slowed down. Yea, kind of
• Feeling tired and lacking in energy. Yes, but I'm also pretty unfit. Did a 5KM cycle earlier today in 15 minutes and my legs seized up on me when I finished
• Feeling of worthlessness or guilt. Kind of the low self-esteem thing, yea
• Difficulty in concentrating and decision making. Yes, definitely, also in remembering things
• Frequent thoughts of death or suicide. Well, yes, but I've never actually tried anything, nothing more than thinking about it and saying it's a stupid idea. But I still think about it often...

It's probably just normal teenage stuff though, a lot of other people here have the same feelings as I do right now One big thing about depression is apparently violent mood swings, and I don't have that. I do switch between depressed and not so depressed frequently (heck, yesterday I felt terrible...), but I don't have mood swings per se. I'll still talk to people and go on as normal, but I'll just feel terrible.

Oh, if you don't find PS3 fun... You can always give it to me?!

Quote :

I don't know why I can't talk face-to-face, it's almost like there's a pressure there to say something meaningful or witty.

One thing I still suffer from, I often find it difficult to actually look at people or hold a gaze. The reason for this I am fully aware of, it's guilt over my past. I have a habbit of looking everywhere but at the people i'm talking too and although I do make eye contact it's never for long and i'll frequently be looking elsewhere whilst talking to somebody.

This isn't aided by an intermittent stutter, a sporadic reflex action in my right arm, and an overbearing insecurity which has left me fighting aggrophobia.

To some extent i've managed to adapt to my shortcomings and work around them so I make just enough eye contact and show enough enthusiasm in my person and speach to still appear interested inspite of my habbitual gazing elsewhere.

With regard my aggrophobia I do manage to go out more these days but when I do i'll typically only be out for a few hours unless i'm with friends, after which I have to return to a safe location or the stress and panic gets so overwhelming it is very hard for me to handle.

When I was taken to an open air fair/festival type of thingy earlier this year by a friend I had to excuse myself for around 15 minutes or so to find somewhere private I could go and spend some time in solitude and cry out some stress, sort out my makeup, and return.

It left me so stressed going to the UK LFS Kart meeting this year that i'll confess now I was actually armed, I did confess this to a few people whilst there. It was a crazy thing that i've never felt the need to do before, but I felt so vulnerable that an odd panic set in and rational thinking left me before I set off for a car journey with Nihil who I did not know anything about prior to him arriving on my doorstep. Infact before he arrived I liberally scattered weaponry around downstairs so that wherever I was I would have a weapon of some kind within reach, and I memorised where every weapon was.

I have adapted though, inspite of all these failings the thing is I still went out and did these things. I've never been one to shy away from fear, when I was younger for instance I used to be scared of heights to a point where I couldnt cross a bridge without feeling panic - I conquered this by climbing a mountain.

Whilst i'm still deeling with the actual fear of aggrophobia, i'm not letting it stop me. I have a few [ritual] things I must do to give myself the confidence to go out and face the world, but I do go out and face the world.

And gaming starts agains baah...

Quote from Becky Rose :

Infact before he arrived I liberally scattered weaponry around downstairs so that wherever I was I would have a weapon of some kind within reach, and I memorised where every weapon was.

phew good thing i didnt go and stay at your place after all

Quote from Shotglass :

phew good thing i didnt go and stay at your place after all

We'd spoken in the run up to the event, whereas Nihil I barely knew, meeting him inside my own home and him mentioning a certain neo-fascist group with an office very close to his home when on the phone to him set alarm bells ringing, I entered a panic. I'm not proud of this, it just happened. I felt vulnerable.

Rest assured though had there been a struggle I would likely have lost - my idea of a weapon is only something blunt and heavy, and the nastiest ones where quite visible for Nihil to grab too !

Or if things get really nasty, you could turn to an uber LFS-LAN battle

Quote from Becky Rose :

It left me so stressed going to the UK LFS Kart meeting this year that i'll confess now I was actually armed,

I'm now so glad, I held up the promise of the drink

Quote from Mackie The Staggie :

I'm now so glad, I held up the promise of the drink

It was lovely, thank you. I look forward to seeing you next time

Quote from Becky Rose :

We'd spoken in the run up to the event

still the thought of entering a fortress doesnt appeal to me much... maybe not the best timing to read this in the same week hank opened a thread about someone firing 30 shots though a door
im a bit paranoid about meeting paranoid people

then again according to a freinds mom im an axe murderer so taking precautions when im visting might not be too bad an idea after all

Quote from Becky Rose :

For a long time i've been 'looking' for a club where I could do something i'm into, and there just isn't one - so i've decided to take up something new. This week, depending on if I have to work late on the night it's on, i'm going to take up Tae Kwon Do. It will be an introduction to a whole new social circle, help me keep fit, and with a bit of luck will find me a new drinking buddy !

Thats one good point, finding some new interests, or just a new group of people. Here in my new "home town" (I'm on university now) I meet so many new people every day, and after jst 2 1/2 weeks I already found a group of 8 guys I come along with quite nice, and tomorrow I try out a badminton club.

I went through a sort of mood like w4h too, but I somewhat kept a optimistic point-> "It will get better", "Läuft!"

[quote=Becky Rose;969509It left me so stressed going to the UK LFS Kart meeting this year that i'll confess now I was actually armed, I did confess this to a few people whilst there. It was a crazy thing that i've never felt the need to do before, but I felt so vulnerable that an odd panic set in and rational thinking left me before I set off for a car journey with Nihil who I did not know anything about prior to him arriving on my doorstep. Infact before he arrived I liberally scattered weaponry around downstairs so that wherever I was I would have a weapon of some kind within reach, and I memorised where every weapon was.[/quote]

I think this may be why I wasn't allowed attend last year

I've no problem making eye contact, in fact I think I may make too much eye contact. I find myself staring after a while, and then look away, and look back again. Apparently I can give great interviews (did a few before), as I never actually say much, but invite conversation

So I spent this evening working on my bike, rather than going on the PC (didn't turn it on at all today ), felt great. I don't feel "happy" as such, but just normal. I also managed to get the neighbours phoning my house after I woke up their kids by revving up in the garage. Whoops

Quote :

im a bit paranoid about meeting paranoid people

I am prone to paranoia since all the drugs I did but i've learned to keep it in check. I think a few months back I was having a few issues with it but i'm very self-aware these days and even at the time understood what I was going through and why so it was a very muted experience and didn't last.

But i've mis-represented myself in some ways above as the reality is i'm probably the least likely person to ever hurt anyone because - to be brutally frank - i've done it before and I didnt like it. I've had to, you understand, to stay alive and the result is i'm left haunted by a past I will never be able to truly lay to rest. Even though what I did was the right thing to do, my friends assure me, the fact is i've seen enough bloodshed to last me well into my next lifetime.

So you where safe, and Nihil, if he ever gets out of hospital after his meeting with me, i'm sure will post in support of that :P If not i'll finish him off

Quote from dawesdust_12 :

It just means you have 140 years of suffering. I envy those people who end up dying at like 20 or stuff... becuase then they only had to deal with 20 years of suffering, rather than the normal 80 or so.

Dude you have to be the most pathetic human being I've yet seen.
Seriously if you hate your life that much while bring it down for others? Do your self a favor and stop humiliating yourself on the entire forum and keep your opinions to your self.

Quote from Paul1992 :

Dude you have to be the most pathetic human being I've yet seen.
Seriously if you hate your life that much while bring it down for others? Do your self a favor and stop humiliating yourself on the entire forum and keep your opinions to your self.

You're post is so hypocritical and idiotic, I do not even know where to begin. First, you call someone "pathetic." Who's to say you aren't "pathetic?" Who says that he hates his life? Even if he does, what does that have to do with you? It's one's choice to hate one's life if one wishes too. No-one is humiliating themselves, because this thread, unlike many others on this forum seems to be slightly more mature. Perhaps the one who should keep their opinions to them self is you.

Quote from wheel4hummer :

You're post is so hypocritical and idiotic, I do not even know where to begin. First, you call someone "pathetic." Who's to say you aren't "pathetic?" Who says that he hates his life? Even if he does, what does that have to do with you? It's one's choice to hate one's life if one wishes too. No-one is humiliating themselves, because this thread, unlike many others on this forum seems to be slightly more mature. Perhaps the one who should keep their opinions to them self is you.

I guess it would have something to do with the 1992. (Sorry, Mr.Gu3st )

i can't make eye contact at all with people... anyone even my own dad..