This thread seems to be almost the best thing to a "Depressed Anonymous" as it can get. It's a good way actually (I think) to get feelings across. Psychologists or talking to personal friends can be a lot more.. revealing and provide that feeling of being vulnerable.

However, the internet means that it's more anonymous, making people have that sort of "safety net" to reveal more. On the downside to this anoymitity, there's bound to be a few idiots that go "OMG HOMO" to the thread.

I dunno, if this thread could continue while staying mature, it'd be a good way for the community to help each other.

EDIT: Booscht, no need to worry - I'm born in 1991.

i have a suggestion
you should try God...
Yes... God ... as in He who created the world and knows all about you, us, the world, understands everyting.
Now probably youre thinking "pff he's retarded etc..."
But i tell you this the advices you got here were pretty good (except the one with the drugs) but all they do (having a girlfriend, job, doing somethin, playin lfs :P) is keep you distracted, and not letting you gettin bored.
And hey I totally agree... you should do that and live your life, be happy, be yourself, don't have regrets, cause the past is gone , nor look at the future cause every thing has its own time and place.
So this should leave out of the question others people opinion of course, and your prejudice too.
If you don't believe there's a God... (then probably you believe what most scientists say about big bang etc... and evolution) it's ok... try and sort it out... find it on your own... do they really know those things or they're just having some theoryes. But don't do the mistake and believe the things they say on national geographic/discovery etc.... k?
Now if you don't know what to believe... it is good that you ask yourself that question "what is the meaning of all this" because you will probably find the answer.
All you have to do is ask God to help you (even if you don't believe He exists, you have nothing to loose): "God, if you are up there, please help me understand these things" or whatever you want to ask Him.
Now you probably won't hear His voice (or maybe you will, who knows :P) but i am sure He will hear your question, and help you out.
If you have a feeling you should do that, just do it, so you won't regret it (like not inviting that girl). Stop thinkin and overthinkin... do what you feel (not what you feel when you think of others)
An one more thing: don't just say that question (or whatever question)to God... and then think "well i did my job, now the ball is in God's courd", just try to insist today, tommorrow, the day after... and you will see as He will slowly come into your life (at least that what happened to me).
If not... keep asking the question: what's this all about
PS: a bible would help ALOT

so in conclusion: when you have a question bothering you, try to find that answer, or you will feel pretty bad, for not doing what you should, and avoiding it.
that's why i feel bad sometimes, for not doing what i really should :P

Quote from dvd_the_one :

i have a suggestion
you should try God...

I have a suggestion, keep God out of this thread. What we are dealing with here are REAL issues.

Quote from mutt107 :

i can't make eye contact at all with people... anyone even my own dad..

I can't make eye contact, because making eye contact with people around here usually results in a broken bottle getting lodged in your face.

Just smile at people if they look at you /approach you, something I need to learn, I bet it makes you 10 times more friendly looking/ approachable, I've alienated a few people I secretly really like because I look like I dont want to talk to them when they approach.

Got involved with girls once, made me sad, so now I get involved with all things containing sugar, not suggesting you do the same.

Don't take things seriously, I've now taken on the role of an cynical evil clown,laughing at my friends when their so called 'romantic' relationships end in nothing but tears.

The thing is, I used to wonder why the hell these bad things happened to me, why I could never make any more than a few close friends, and then now I've realised its because of my own failings, and I'm making moves to change these, and now I have a lot more friends and people approach me and have a friendly chat more often, because I'm not so icy and almost arrogant looking.

Quote from boosterfire :

I guess it would have something to do with the 1992.

Oi!

Quote from 5haz :

Don't take things seriously, I've now taken on the role of an cynical evil clown,laughing at my friends when their so called 'romantic' relationships end in nothing but tears.

Oloollol, that makes me laugh. When I was at school, 'most' people had bf/gf, and none of them were serious. Maybe a couple were, buy it's sad to say that 7/10 school relationships boil down to looking cool with a hot girl/guy.

I stayed out of it during school, for that reasons. Besides, I'm neither hip nor cool.

Quote from S14 DRIFT :

Oloollol, that makes me laugh. When I was at school, 'most' people had bf/gf, and none of them were serious. Maybe a couple were, buy it's sad to say that 7/10 school relationships boil down to looking cool with a hot girl/guy.

um actually it's something worth trying before engaging in a serious and meaningful relationship.

why? first it's an exercise in understanding about sexual attraction, superficial maybe but it matters a lot, I am always fancinated why some people can be players while some can't, I also like to "experiment".

second it is just something cool to remind yourself about when you are 40, fat and bald, has two kids and is chained to your responsibility, plus your son will respect you a lot more if you had a very hot girl when you were young.

serious relationship doesn't come very often, I am all into commitment and true love but it only happens to me every 6 to 7 years, and for a lot of circumstances these relationships no matter how sincere and noble might not work out.

So in the gap time, what's bad with knowing a few hotties? you got to touch up your inter-personal skills and keep yourself connected with the world, and there's a wide range of relationships from being home alone nerdy gamer to village bike stupid whore, if casual relationships is not for you, you can still just hang out with some delightful girls, just be friends, have fun, listen to what woman wants and occasionally worship their rocking tits.

being more active doesn't hamper your ability to have a serious relationship, actually it helps a lot, many people know they love each other but they don't know the "vocabularies" in doing so - besides putting your partner's need before yours, learning how to share and understand - flirting, kissing, and making love are all important means for flourishing a good relationship.

Quote from dvd_the_one :

i have a suggestion
you should try God...
Yes... God ... as in He who created the world and knows all about you, us, the world, understands everyting.
Now probably youre thinking "pff he's retarded etc..."
But i tell you this the advices you got here were pretty good (except the one with the drugs) but all they do (having a girlfriend, job, doing somethin, playin lfs :P) is keep you distracted, and not letting you gettin bored.
And hey I totally agree... you should do that and live your life, be happy, be yourself, don't have regrets, cause the past is gone , nor look at the future cause every thing has its own time and place.
So this should leave out of the question others people opinion of course, and your prejudice too.
If you don't believe there's a God... (then probably you believe what most scientists say about big bang etc... and evolution) it's ok... try and sort it out... find it on your own... do they really know those things or they're just having some theoryes. But don't do the mistake and believe the things they say on national geographic/discovery etc.... k?
Now if you don't know what to believe... it is good that you ask yourself that question "what is the meaning of all this" because you will probably find the answer.
All you have to do is ask God to help you (even if you don't believe He exists, you have nothing to loose): "God, if you are up there, please help me understand these things" or whatever you want to ask Him.
Now you probably won't hear His voice (or maybe you will, who knows :P) but i am sure He will hear your question, and help you out.
If you have a feeling you should do that, just do it, so you won't regret it (like not inviting that girl). Stop thinkin and overthinkin... do what you feel (not what you feel when you think of others)
An one more thing: don't just say that question (or whatever question)to God... and then think "well i did my job, now the ball is in God's courd", just try to insist today, tommorrow, the day after... and you will see as He will slowly come into your life (at least that what happened to me).
If not... keep asking the question: what's this all about
PS: a bible would help ALOT

so in conclusion: when you have a question bothering you, try to find that answer, or you will feel pretty bad, for not doing what you should, and avoiding it.
that's why i feel bad sometimes, for not doing what i really should :P

No thanks, I tend not to follow works of fiction. And before the Bible, I'd follow Harry Potter or something else equally or less farfetched.

Quote from dvd_the_one :

i have a suggestion
you should try God...

Me: God, why does stuff suck so much?
God: Oh I sent all that stuff to challenge you.
Me: Thanks a lot, ****head.
God: In your face, poindexter.

"Oh hi, I will trow you with rocks to see if you can handle it, then if you do I will send you a loved one and then if you survive that I will send you divorce or some problems and then if you survive I will give you some money and work and then if you survive I will send you some cancer and if you start to cheer up because you are living I will take you into heaven, Do we have a deal?"

This is a fantastically useful thread to the community. Very good (minus the Jesus rubbish from some spammer).

In response to the many posts regarding eye contact. For me, I learnt a trick at university where I had to present infront of 50 odd people about something I knew very little about. (plus to make it worse i was the first one up, so everyone was giving 100% attention!)
I used my nervousness as a tool, a power source, so instead of getting quieter and quieter, avoiding their interrogating eyes by looking down. I did the exact opposite, gave good eye contact and got louder and seemingly more confident. This worked a treat when a uni friend said after my presentation "oh yeah thanks, now we've got to follow that up"

And since that day i've used that, shield of confidence to get me through some very tough situations. aggressive people, interviews, etc.

It's a useful tool, and it works for me.

(sorry for the rambling)

btw if you are afraid of eye contact, try looking at the bit between the eye brows. the other people won't know you ain't looking at him and it's much less odd.

Quote from JJ72 :

btw if you are afraid of eye contact, try looking at the bit between the eye brows. the other people won't know you ain't looking at him and it's much less odd.

Actually my fear is them looking at me.

It's funny, if I go back some years I had no issues at all with public speaking and self confidence. I've even acted and I have performed live infront of very big crowds. Public speaking used to be one of my strongest skills.

It's funny how life shapes and changes us.

Quote from Becky Rose :

It's funny how life shapes and changes us.

It's very odd too. I remember I used to be a really loud and very aggressive kid back in preschool all the way to 4th grade. I mean, I swore like it was second nature, I hit people, ran over them with tricycles, poked people, threw stuff at them, flipped them off, and much more. From 5th grade and onward, I grew more secluded and rarely even talked. I didn't talk to my family either. In 6th grade I went to silent torture because I felt like the world was unfair but never told anyone about it so people thought I was mad for no reason. I thought no one knew how I felt and progressively felt more and more like I didn't have any substance in the world, like I was a waste of energy and effort to get me here on Earth.

In 7th grade, I got over it and tried to be more outgoing and have been getting better ever since. I'm guessing 8th grade and 10th grade (so far) are my high peaks. However, I don't socialize often because I'm more interested in my own interests than anyone elses (like vehicle dynamics, marksmanship and Live for Speed). Life is like some airplane. You have some control of what you do but if you just let go, it fluctuates up and down in the air and can cause some serious damage or maybe pull through.

My personal theory is that anyone can change anything about their personality at any given moment that they wish. Therefore, I don't think that it's possible to tell people to "be [themselves]." Because, who is everyone? They are whomever they choose to be, you cannot logically tell someone that they aren't being themselves, because no matter what someone does the are still the same human being. Everyone is always themselves. That's my philosophy, at least.

Of course, by that philosophy one could argue that criminals can be changed. This is sort of true, but I don't deny the possibility that certain crimes are committed due to mental illness. But, what is mental illness, anyway? If everyone was depressed, then happiness would be an illness.

The phrase 'be yourself' generally implies that you should express yourself how you would in a comfortable situation whilst otherwise you are fixated on some distraction.

Like Dougie's hot hottie in the canteen, he was distracted by ass, when he should have 'been himself' and talked about the pitfalls of riding a moped on Irish country lanes where cattle are known for tail gating.

Quote from mutt107 :

i can't make eye contact at all with people... anyone even my own dad..

you and me both lol
You can toy with it and TRY to look at someone for a while, but you can't help just ignoring everything they say because you think it's strange that your staring into their eyes lol!

Quote from Becky Rose :

It's funny, if I go back some years I had no issues at all with public speaking and self confidence. I've even acted and I have performed live infront of very big crowds. Public speaking used to be one of my strongest skills.

It's funny how life shapes and changes us.

Public performance is something totally different. I'm happy to get up and sing and play - even my own music - infront of any crowd you'd care to put infront of me, but I go to pieces doing best man's speeches, and people keep making me do them.

Also I think it's easier to do that stuff when you're younger. My girlfriend said last weekend how hard it must be for Hamilton in the F1 season finale and I thought well, maybe not, because he's young and has that supreme confidence that you get with the ignorance of youth.