Fortunately I had a decorator over today to paint the dining room or I would've been home alone all day, but it was a bit weird asking (yelling) him for help!
Well I couldn't have broken down the door because it opens inwards and I am extremely scrawny, so yeah that would've been the only way out. Not the softest of things to land on!
The house was built in around 1760, but the bathroom and kitchen are in an extension that was built in the '80s. I don't think either the bathroom or the kitchen have been changed since then.
It's not my house BTW I'm just a tenant. It a beautiful house but it needs quite a lot of modernising - if you want to loan me the £750,000+ I'd need to buy it I promise to replace all the interior doors with nice new ones!
I also was stuck once in the bathroom for 3 hours. Instead of panicking I just took a bath and waited until my roommate came back home, asked her to put a screwdriver though the doorcrack (on the bottom), and then I just pried the whole doorhandle+locking mechanism out of the door. Mission success
Bah! This is nothing! When we moved into our house in 2000, we immediately had water leakage in the bathroom which was getting behind the tile walls and running down through to the basement. Easy fix, I completely gutted the bathroom, new walls, new tub surround, new floor (originally carpet, yuck!).
Here's the kicker..... My wife was 8.5 months pregnant. It's 8:30 at night and I'm reinstalling the toilet, which I had taken the tank off the base. I'm tightening the bolts for the tank when I hear "CRACK!" I split the toilet in half. Now, you don't leave an 8.5 month pregnant wife without a toilet. Nearest store is 40 minutes away, and they close in 15 minutes!
Back then, there was no Live for Speed, but I sure drove like I was racing LFS! I got there with 2 minutes to spare, grabbed a new toilet, and was on my way!
I was about to say it's not even the oldest building on my street, then I remembered my street's got Bootham Bar at the end of it which would've made it rather an understatement...
Call me a drama queen, but my first thoughts were "OK I've got running water! OK I've got a toilet!"
8:30 start installing toilet, installing the tank, cracking toilet in half, running around swearing and cussing, run around hunting for car keys and wallet, out the door at 8:45
I almost had something similar happen to me at home (which, for the record, was built sometime in the 15th century) in the area my landlord and I keep our firewood. It involved a solid hardwood door without a handle on the outside and strong winds. I noticed the door moving as I was splitting woodblocks so I threw a log at it before it slammed shut, it was a lucky split second decision not to throw the axe instead. The only other exit, to an alley, is closed off completely by a thick metal bar gate - the end result would be like a prison cell.
Whenever I get a packet of plain M&M's, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the chocolate treats as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two M&M's between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser", and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.
I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&M's are tougher, while the blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesised that the blue M&M's as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of competition that is the modern chocolate and snack-food world. Occasionally I will get a mutation, an M&M that is misshapen, or pointier than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the treat extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.
When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly into an envelope and send it to the Mars Inc, along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes".
EDIT - FTR, not my story, but i just found it so bloody funny i had to post it somewhere!