So What Will Be His First Crash
(103 posts, started )
So What Will Be His First Crash
I do hope this thread doesnt get taken the wrong way! It'll be 30 days in the sin bin if it does!

As we all know, and have discussed to the tune of ten pages over the last few days. The prodigal son of the forum software, Jack Green - 15,000 posts and counting, has just acquired his first bling monstah...

His mam's old Proton Wira with factory spoiler. Further he's already done his first modification, a pumping new £8 sound system to pick up chicks with.

So why the new thread? Well given that Jack has shared so much with us in his 15,000 posts with highlights such as puberty, his first date, and that old acne laced photograph, I feel like he's part of the family around here...

So I thought it might be fun, as a family exercise, to try and predict when Jack's first accident is going to be. With additional bonus points for detailing how much damage he does and whether he survives.

And grrrrr when did adding a poll become a mystery feature on the forum? I've heard talk of editing a post after posting with polls - so here goes! Anyway if you are still reading, if this dont go down to well I got an excellent interview recording of Jack *winks*... ;p

EDIT: I dont get it where's the damn poll thingies the kiddies use in every post they make?
EDIT2: Grrrr, I've been pwned by Jakg's biological father, the forum software. *gives up*
EDIT3: I declare this thread as self-pwnagedzor.
If you check the Green family crest you'll notice that at the way bottom it has an option that says "Yes, post a poll with this thread".
Hmm, my take on his first accident:

He is parked at a super market where two rows of parking spaces are next to each other. When trying to drive a way, he notices that instead of the reverse, he used the first gear. In reflex, he jumps from the clutch, making his car jump forward in an arch (as he had already turned in to exit), damaging the car in front of him, the one next to that, the one next to him and his own car.

On a sidenote, that really happened to a friend of mine on his first drive out with his mothers car
The spoiler on his Wira will attract some hot chick and he'll get bitchslapped by his gf.
Quote from hyntty :The spoiler on his Wira will attract some hot chick and he'll get bitchslapped by his gf.

I know that beauty lies in the eye of the beholder, but a chick that is attracted by a spoiler cannot possibly be hot.
Lol, does anyone have any pictures of Jak's "Fully sick ride"? sounds like a laugh!
#7 - Jakg
Quote from Becky Rose :And grrrrr when did adding a poll become a mystery feature on the forum? I've heard talk of editing a post after posting with polls - so here goes!

No, when select the poll option and click "New Thread" you enter how many poll options you want, then you click "Submit Thread" and the thread is opened while you are taken to a screen where you put the options in - which means temporarily the thread has no poll - you can't add one later
Quote from Becky Rose :Anyway if you are still reading, if this dont go down to well I got an excellent interview recording of Jack *winks*... ;p

Don't you dare!
Quote from Becky Rose :EDIT2: Grrrr, I've been pwned by Jakg's biological father, the forum software. *gives up*

My biological father probably has a hereditary mental condition that made my uncle live in a caravan with his army of Chipmunks so meh


Overall I think this thread is a little disconcerting, especially as I have my next lesson in 15 minutes...

I've added a little how-to on Polls btw

EDIT - My "sick ride".

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Chris is starting lessons soon .
Quote from Jakg :Overall I think this thread is a little disconcerting, especially as I have my next lesson in 15 minutes...

well get off the computer and get ure scrawny ass down there!! good luck, dont crash
im guessing that in his lesson, he forgets that he is in real life, floors it at the trafic lights (engine screaming), full throttle, gets to about 30mph in 8 seconds (sorry!!!!), then, crashes into a tree, bursts on fire, and is cooked alive.
You could start a thread about me too, since I've been doing lessons for a few weeks now. Although I guess at 28 I'm a good bit less likely to want to show off than some pimply teenager

That said I've not got my car yet, but I am coming up with a reasonable shortlist

My bet goes on a T-junction. Pulling out in front of something without seeing it, or kanagrooing into the car in front.
my bets says he understeers into a tree, practicing for a league race

jus kidding jack
I picture him doing a B Road blast and forgetting that he isn't a WRC World Champion, under steers off the road and up a tree.
He thinks it is CTRA and tries to find the apex on a B road and epically fails then hits a red and white barrier and flies 100 feet into the air and is unhurt.
#15 - Jakg
Quote from P5YcHoM4N :I picture him doing a B Road blast and forgetting that he isn't a WRC World Champion, under steers off the road and up a tree.

Almost - ended up on a deserted B-Road today and started to put my foot down before I realised what exactly I was doing


Also had my first stall at a set of traffic lights - uphill, and they change in about 4 seconds, and I had car parked exactly an inch from my bumper - funfunfun!

That was actually quite tiring
Hang on... how old is he now? I want my prediction to be accurate
Quote from Jakg :Almost - ended up on a deserted B-Road today and started to put my foot down before I realised what exactly I was doing


Also had my first stall at a set of traffic lights - uphill, and they change in about 4 seconds, and I had car parked exactly an inch from my bumper - funfunfun!

That was actually quite tiring

No one can resist the charm of a B Road blast. I once had to brake sharply on a corner because it was tighter than expected and I remembered hugging the apex on a blind bend is frowned upon.
This thread is a bit weird... what if he really crashes, and worst case, something happens to him? Will it still be funny (ok, if he'd be fine, it would, yes)?

What i'm trying to say is... this is something you shouldn't joke about in my opinion... don't play with your luck.
#19 - Jakg
Quote from jo53phs :hang On... How Old Is He Now? I Want My Prediction To Be Accurate

17...?
Quote from jibber :This thread is a bit weird... what if he really crashes, and worst case, something happens to him? Will it still be funny (ok, if he'd be fine, it would, yes)?

What i'm trying to say is... this is something you shouldn't joke about in my opinion... don't play with your luck.

Or maybe this thread will have the opposite effect?

I dont think the hand of fate is too bothered about the mickey taking of a few forum posts.

Me, i'm better that whatever accident he has, it's on the last corner whilst 'leading' his fantasy race in his head.
I'm not saying this thread will have a negative effect... maybe rather a positive one, you're right. But IF something happens, then it won't be funny anymore. That's all I'm saying.
The roads down here aren't safe at night, late-night DJ's are total nutters when there's 20 miles of B road to the next city

Quote from P5YcHoM4N :No one can resist the charm of a B Road blast. I once had to brake sharply on a corner because it was tighter than expected and I remembered hugging the apex on a blind bend is frowned upon.

My prediction, he'll bump a curb trying to parallel park between two cars and sit there saying "ZOMG!11!!" thinking he just hit the lovely SLR behind him. From then on he won't try to use the handbrake to park anymore
#24 - Migz
I think he is going to drive away from the gas pump with the nozzle still in the car, causing him to rip the petrol thing out and then the whole garage falls down onto him causing instant death!!

But then because we - the lfs community - love him so much we shall cry like in the pokemon movie (i cried at that)(the bit where ash gets like mewez and then turns into a rock and all the pokemon cry and he comes back) and then he shall come back to life.

Quote from jibber :I'm not saying this thread will have a negative effect... maybe rather a positive one, you're right. But IF something happens, then it won't be funny anymore. That's all I'm saying.

If something bad happens the thread will be deleted and never spoken of again.

So What Will Be His First Crash
(103 posts, started )
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