Couple ninjas ambushed me on the way to the car, had to fight them off with a garden hose and some toothpaste till they finally were defeated after NINE HOURS of constant fighting...
Me: Hello, sir. Sorry I can't make it to work today I have a terrible chest infection *cough cough splutter*.
Boss: Ok, take is easy and I hope you feel better tomorrow morning.
5 minutes later ...
*ring ring*
Me: Hello? .......
Boss: Hi it's me again I was just calling to ... hey your voice is not as croaky as before.
Me: ..... Sorry I can't come to the phone right now, please leave a message after the tone ..... tone.
ME - "well you see i was walking into work when suddenly a black van screeched to a halt in front of me...nothing strange I grant you considering the area of town I was in, but 5 burley men in black suits jumped out and while speaking about some kind of 'bird in the nest' bundled me into the van. Confused i asked what this was all about but all i was told was to "SHUT UP SPARROW" wish I thought was the codename from the little boy spy in the Simpsons but what do i know. Anyway long story short, after some genital torture which left me in a fair amount of pain (and confusingly a bit of arousal also) they let me out at the same place that they picked me up and that was that"
Technically, I would be fired in March if I used that every month. Can only be late 3 times. Though, I'm a bit more special than the normal production crew and I can make my own hours within reason.
This one indeed almost happened to me. I arrived at work when one of the maintenance guys yelled from down the aisle way, "Hey! What are you doing here, you're dead!"
It was on the morning news, 'Mike Rodgers crashed his car and was killed last night while traveling at a high rate of speed....' Only it was a 19 year old rather than a 35 year old like I was at the time.
Me, I just either show up late or I email my coworker (there's only 2 of us, coincidentally, both with the last name Rodgers) just to let him know if I am not coming into work.
I couldn't call my boss to tell him I was going to be late anyways. He'd probably not appreciate me waking him up, hehe.
I don't think I've ever called off work dishonestly. I have on a couple of occasions called in and been entirely honest and said I've over-done it the night before and will be useless until lunchtime, and they've been fine with it because they knew I wasn't a rubbish slacker.
Quote: My favorite movie line, "ERIC!!!! OH, ERIC!!!! You are a God!!!(bows down and a short pause) A God I say!!!(bows down again). - Kelso (Ashton Kutcher), That 70's Show.
