Wrong thread..that was not bad...really, REALLY laughed out loud at that, and got told off by the missus for waking her up!
Wrong thread..that was not bad...really, REALLY laughed out loud at that, and got told off by the missus for waking her up!
Got done by the police the other day. According to the courts, wrapping your cock in the Beano and wanking is not part of Comic Relief.
Walking past a cannibal sitting next to a pile of shit. a man asks him what wrong? cannibal replies I've just dumped my wife!
Naughty boy draws a penis on the black board. lady teacher rubs it off. next he draws a bigger 1 & says "REMEMBER THE MORE YOU RUB THE BIGGER IT GETS!!"
Wonder why hurricanes were named after women? Its cos when they cum its wet an wild but when they go they take your house an car with them!!
...NEW at IKEA! Lesbian beds, no screwing involved...it's all tongue and groove!
Police in Liverpool have arrested 3 of 4 well known scouse Islamic terrorists. Bin Snort-in, Bin Deal-in and Bin Thieving, there is no sign of Bin Work-in
I was walking in a cemetery this morning and seen a bloke hiding behind a gravestone. I said "morning." he replied, "No, just having a shit."
Fat woman getting ready for fancy dress party tells hubby she has nothing to wear. He says "Pull your piss flaps over you head and go as a sugar puff!"
^^ All copied off of status shuffle on Facebook.
Walking past a cannibal sitting next to a pile of shit. a man asks him what wrong? cannibal replies I've just dumped my wife!
Naughty boy draws a penis on the black board. lady teacher rubs it off. next he draws a bigger 1 & says "REMEMBER THE MORE YOU RUB THE BIGGER IT GETS!!"
Wonder why hurricanes were named after women? Its cos when they cum its wet an wild but when they go they take your house an car with them!!
...NEW at IKEA! Lesbian beds, no screwing involved...it's all tongue and groove!
Police in Liverpool have arrested 3 of 4 well known scouse Islamic terrorists. Bin Snort-in, Bin Deal-in and Bin Thieving, there is no sign of Bin Work-in
I was walking in a cemetery this morning and seen a bloke hiding behind a gravestone. I said "morning." he replied, "No, just having a shit."
Fat woman getting ready for fancy dress party tells hubby she has nothing to wear. He says "Pull your piss flaps over you head and go as a sugar puff!"
^^ All copied off of status shuffle on Facebook.
Ye, those guys at driftworks have a joke thread now. It's awsome so much hilarious stuff in there! I'll post more if I see
Where does Sarah Palin come from?
You're supposed to say "Alaska", I reply with "Would you?" and hilarity ensues.
Meh, had to say it 5 times before I got the pun even though I knew which word it was 
What's the best thing about banging twenty three years old girls?
There's twenty of them. :crown:
There's twenty of them. :crown:
Saw that coming before I even scrolled down.
The FBI have a computer in America that's got fingerprints from all criminals in the world on it. It's OK for me, though, because I haven't touched it.
Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day.
Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.
Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.
:jester:
I guess this is bad enough to post here:
It was night, a psychopath was dragging a little girl after him, in a huge dark forest.
Suddenly the little girl started screaming: "I`m scared, i`m scared!!", at which he replied: "Me too, i`m comming back alone.. you kno'?"
It was night, a psychopath was dragging a little girl after him, in a huge dark forest.
Suddenly the little girl started screaming: "I`m scared, i`m scared!!", at which he replied: "Me too, i`m comming back alone.. you kno'?"
There's a park. In the park is a statue of a man and a woman, locked in an embrace, about to kiss. An angel has often seen the statue and finds it very sad as the couple in the statue seem so much in love but never manage to kiss, so he decides to grant them life. The second life is granted, the couple rush together and kiss passionately, before parting and staring, shocked, but lovestruck into each others eyes. The angel tells them, 'I can grant you only one hour of life, be sure to use it well.' They look at each other, look at the bushes then grin before running off into them. Before long giggling sounds emerge and the bushes begin to sway.
Once the hour is up the angel decides he has to go over and tell them to return to their plinth. He pushes aside the bushes and finds the couple and hears 'ok, this time you hold the pigeon down, and I'll shit on it's head.'
Once the hour is up the angel decides he has to go over and tell them to return to their plinth. He pushes aside the bushes and finds the couple and hears 'ok, this time you hold the pigeon down, and I'll shit on it's head.'
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other, 'Does this taste funny to you?'
there's a new operation for women who want a sex change. it's called a strapadicktame
I thought it was "strapondildotomy"
say it may way (out loud). mine sounds better 
not only does it sound better, there also is some similarity to stapedectomy.
therefore funny.
therefore funny.
This morning, as I stood naked looking in the Mirror, I thought to myself:
"Any second now I'm gonna get chucked out of this newsagents."
"Any second now I'm gonna get chucked out of this newsagents."
Michael Jackons ashes are going to be used for etch-a-sketch so little kids an play with him
Off bebo:
I apoligise for the bad language, telling the jokes as they're written.
I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic warden shouted, "Oi, what's your disability?"
I said, "Tourettes! Now f**k off you c**t!"
A man came home from work, sat down in his favourite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, "Quick! Bring me a beer before it starts!"
She looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer.
When he finished it, he said, "Quick! Bring me another beer! It's gonna start!"
This time she looked a little angry, but brought him a beer.
When it was gone, he said, "Quickly! Another beer! It's gonna start any second!"
"That's it!" She blows her top. "You bastard! You waltz in here, flop your fat ass down, don't even say hello to me and then expect me to run around like your slave! Don't you realize that I cook and clean and wash and iron all day long?"
The husband sighed. "Oh shit. It's started."
I went for a job interview as a blacksmith yesterday. He said, "Have you ever shoed a horse?"
I said, "No, but I've told a donkey to fcuk off."
Micheal Jackson jokes may follow in a few days, when all of his beloved, devoted, and committed 'fans' off lfsforum.net stop crying
.... Or maybe not, cos I have principles, and the man's dead. So its not something to make fun of. 
I apoligise for the bad language, telling the jokes as they're written.
I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic warden shouted, "Oi, what's your disability?"
I said, "Tourettes! Now f**k off you c**t!"
A man came home from work, sat down in his favourite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, "Quick! Bring me a beer before it starts!"
She looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer.
When he finished it, he said, "Quick! Bring me another beer! It's gonna start!"
This time she looked a little angry, but brought him a beer.
When it was gone, he said, "Quickly! Another beer! It's gonna start any second!"
"That's it!" She blows her top. "You bastard! You waltz in here, flop your fat ass down, don't even say hello to me and then expect me to run around like your slave! Don't you realize that I cook and clean and wash and iron all day long?"
The husband sighed. "Oh shit. It's started."
I went for a job interview as a blacksmith yesterday. He said, "Have you ever shoed a horse?"
I said, "No, but I've told a donkey to fcuk off."
Micheal Jackson jokes may follow in a few days, when all of his beloved, devoted, and committed 'fans' off lfsforum.net stop crying
.... Or maybe not, cos I have principles, and the man's dead. So its not something to make fun of. apparently michaels funeral is going to be a thriller.
and his ahes can be used to make plastic bags because hes white, plastic and harmful to children.
Also his ashes are going to be sold to a toy factory and used to make toys so that kids can play with him for once.
and his ahes can be used to make plastic bags because hes white, plastic and harmful to children.
Also his ashes are going to be sold to a toy factory and used to make toys so that kids can play with him for once.
The bad jokes thread
(1536 posts, started )
FGED GREDG RDFGDR GSFDG