you
you
teams in past 2 month.
What is artificial light made from?
Fauxtons.
Fauxtons.
(ACCAkut)
DELETED
by Scawen : some kind of so-called "joke" with apparent racist connection, and insulting responses to it.
(Franky.S)
DELETED
by Scawen : some kind of so-called "joke" with apparent racist connection, and insulting responses to it.
Did you hear about the man who was cooled to absolute zero?
He's 0K now.
He's 0K now.
(Bose321)
DELETED
by Scawen : some kind of so-called "joke" with apparent racist connection, and insulting responses to it.
(CrAZySkyPimp)
DELETED
by Scawen : some kind of so-called "joke" with apparent racist connection, and insulting responses to it.
(ACCAkut)
DELETED
by Scawen : some kind of so-called "joke" with apparent racist connection, and insulting responses to it.
(bmwe30m3)
DELETED
by Scawen : some kind of so-called "joke" with apparent racist connection, and insulting responses to it.
(ACCAkut)
DELETED
by ACCAkut
btw, isnt that "Not impressed" girl?
iRacing
It's a joke, but not a good one.
It's a joke, but not a good one.
This is very borderline, but funny....
If you have sex with a prostitute without her consent, is it classed as Rape or shop lifting
If you have sex with a prostitute without her consent, is it classed as Rape or shop lifting
An Ancient Roman dude and an Ancient Greek dude become friends in heaven.
They discuss politics and have a friendly debate as to which civilization was better.
"We built the Parthenon," says the Greek.
"Well, we built the Colosseum," declares the Roman.
"We were the inventors of democracy," the Greek explains.
"Well, we were the innovators of European trade and commodity," the Roman points out.
"Oh yeah? Well we invented oral sex, anal sex, and group sex," the Greek insists.
The Roman smiles and then proclaims, "True, but we were the ones who introduced that to women."
They discuss politics and have a friendly debate as to which civilization was better.
"We built the Parthenon," says the Greek.
"Well, we built the Colosseum," declares the Roman.
"We were the inventors of democracy," the Greek explains.
"Well, we were the innovators of European trade and commodity," the Roman points out.
"Oh yeah? Well we invented oral sex, anal sex, and group sex," the Greek insists.
The Roman smiles and then proclaims, "True, but we were the ones who introduced that to women."
Yes Mckayla Maroney
related:
A local FM Radio was running a contest, and I phoned up. The RJ said, "Congratulations on being our first caller, all you
have to do is answer the following question correctly, to win our grand prize."
"That's fantastic!" I shouted in delight.
"Feel confident?" she asked. "It's a maths question."
"Well, I've got a Masters in maths and am damn good at it," I proudly replied.
"Ok then, to win our grand prize of 2 front row seats to a "Justin Beiber's" concert and to meet him back stage. What is
2+2?"
I replied, "-2.705"
have to do is answer the following question correctly, to win our grand prize."
"That's fantastic!" I shouted in delight.
"Feel confident?" she asked. "It's a maths question."
"Well, I've got a Masters in maths and am damn good at it," I proudly replied.
"Ok then, to win our grand prize of 2 front row seats to a "Justin Beiber's" concert and to meet him back stage. What is
2+2?"
I replied, "-2.705"
So i took off her shirt. Then she said,"Take off my skirt." I took it off."Take off my bra and knickers."I took them off.Then she looked at me and said,"i don't want to catch you wearing my things ever again."
The N word.
you mean Nudelteigtasche?
You speak noodle?
Where Windows apps hang out?
The toolbar
The toolbar
Dad hurt his wrist and had to go to the hospital where he talked to a doctor.
How do you sell a deaf man a chicken?
Leans in close, takes a deep breath and screams at the top of his lungs:WANNA BUY A CHICKEN?!?!?
Last joke of my grandpa (self.dadjokes)
We were seeing him in the hospital for the last time with our family and at some point my aunt asked who of us want coffee. We counted coffee drinkers among us and my aunt said "Ok, I'll bring a full tray"
My grandpa lifted his head for the last time and said "rather bring that in a cup, it's so hard to drink from the tray"
He was amazing.
http://www.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/top/
How do you sell a deaf man a chicken?
Leans in close, takes a deep breath and screams at the top of his lungs:WANNA BUY A CHICKEN?!?!?
Last joke of my grandpa (self.dadjokes)
We were seeing him in the hospital for the last time with our family and at some point my aunt asked who of us want coffee. We counted coffee drinkers among us and my aunt said "Ok, I'll bring a full tray"
My grandpa lifted his head for the last time and said "rather bring that in a cup, it's so hard to drink from the tray"
He was amazing.
http://www.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/top/
A man received the following text from his neighbour:
I am so sorry Bob. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been tapping your wife, day and night when you're not around.
In fact, more than you. I'm not getting any at home, but that's no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won't happen again.
The man, anguished and betrayed, went into his bedroom, grabbed his gun, and without a word, shot his wife and killed her.
A few moments later, a second text came in:
Damn autocorrect. I meant "wifi", not "wife".
I am so sorry Bob. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been tapping your wife, day and night when you're not around.
In fact, more than you. I'm not getting any at home, but that's no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won't happen again.
The man, anguished and betrayed, went into his bedroom, grabbed his gun, and without a word, shot his wife and killed her.
A few moments later, a second text came in:
Damn autocorrect. I meant "wifi", not "wife".
hehe, I like this.
We use to do a similar one, which you need to be drinking a drink to tell;
Question, to friend/victim: What noise does a dog make? (take a nonchalant sip of drink)
Friend: ..... woof..?
Q: What noise does a cat make? (sip)
F: .. meow?
Q: What noise does a cow make? (sip)
F: Moo!
Q: What noise does a whale make? (sip)
F: ..........?
At which point you blow your mouthful of drink in their face as noisily and messily as you can.
:bump:
How do you make 7 even?
Remove the S!
What did the number 0 say to the number 8?
Nice belt!
They're lame, so it's going here.
How do you make 7 even?
Remove the S!
What did the number 0 say to the number 8?
Nice belt!
They're lame, so it's going here.
The robbers, who expected to find one or two large safes filled with cash and valuables, were surprised to see hundreds of smaller safes scattered throughout the bank. The robbers cracked the first safe's combination, and inside they found only a bowl of vanilla pudding.]
As recorded on the bank's audio tape system, one robber said, "At least we'll have a bit to eat." The robbers opened up a second safe, and it also contained nothing but vanilla pudding. The process continued until all the safes were opened.
They found not one pound sterling, a diamond, or an ounce of gold. Instead, all the safes contained covered bowls of pudding.
Disappointed, the robbers made a quiet exit, each leaving with nothing more than a queasy, uncomfortably full stomach.
The newspaper headline read:
IRELAND'S LARGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED EARLY THIS MORNING.
As recorded on the bank's audio tape system, one robber said, "At least we'll have a bit to eat." The robbers opened up a second safe, and it also contained nothing but vanilla pudding. The process continued until all the safes were opened.
They found not one pound sterling, a diamond, or an ounce of gold. Instead, all the safes contained covered bowls of pudding.
Disappointed, the robbers made a quiet exit, each leaving with nothing more than a queasy, uncomfortably full stomach.
The newspaper headline read:
IRELAND'S LARGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED EARLY THIS MORNING.
What's the difference between a bass player and a large pizza?
The pizza can feed a family of four.
The pizza can feed a family of four.
What do you call people who hang around with the musicians in a band, following them everywhere on their tour?
Drummers.
Drummers.
Martin "FLAME CZE" Kapal just went to team bandit
The bad jokes thread
(1536 posts, started )
FGED GREDG RDFGDR GSFDG