And the other is armour-piercing munitions, obviously.
Exactly my thoughts
Today, I discovered a way to send a massive number of text messages to someone simultaneously, so I decided to do it to my friend as a prank. I quickly noticed that I forgot to disable the delivery notification feature.
69
Dear 6,
Please stop spreading rumours about me eating 9. You shouldn't be talking. I hear you guys do some pretty nasty things.
Sincerely, 7
Please stop spreading rumours about me eating 9. You shouldn't be talking. I hear you guys do some pretty nasty things.
Sincerely, 7
Just had a couple of wee trick or treaters around, one was dressed as Gloria Gaynor... first I was afraid, then I was petrified...
Probably the best reddit topic EVER. 
I recommend to read it all. http://www.reddit.com/r/AskRed ... fensive_oneliner_you_can/
some of least offensive
What do you call an Ethiopian with a dog? Vegetarian.
What's the difference between an onion and a hooker? I cry when I cut up an onion.
Also, how do you know your vegetable soup is done? The wheelchair floats up.
Q: What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under each arm? A: A pimp.
What's Al Qaeda's favorite football team? The New York Jets.
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Trick question! Feminists can't change anything!
I recommend to read it all. http://www.reddit.com/r/AskRed ... fensive_oneliner_you_can/some of least offensive
What do you call an Ethiopian with a dog? Vegetarian.
What's the difference between an onion and a hooker? I cry when I cut up an onion.
Also, how do you know your vegetable soup is done? The wheelchair floats up.
Q: What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under each arm? A: A pimp.
What's Al Qaeda's favorite football team? The New York Jets.
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Trick question! Feminists can't change anything!
I just loved "Whats the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Phelps can finish a race."
If you are offended: good, that is the whole point of the jokes. Hence OFFENSIVE one-liners
haha, I have my new favourite 'far too close to the bone' joke now.
Did you hear the joke about the child with AIDS? It never gets old..
Did you hear the joke about the child with AIDS? It never gets old..
HAHAHA... I'm going to hell, but laughing at that was worth it!
Why do North Koreans make the best NASCAR drivers?
Because over there, there's no such thing as rights!
I feel bad for laughing at most of them
and some just make me wonder what kind of mind you need to have to come up with that stuff 
(those at the bottom of the page ...)
Because over there, there's no such thing as rights!
I feel bad for laughing at most of them
and some just make me wonder what kind of mind you need to have to come up with that stuff (those at the bottom of the page ...)lol
wut
Okay here we go.
There is a guy in a wheelchair making the hand sign of wanting to get a lift beside the highway.
A guy in a Ferrari stops and says to the guy I'd love to help you but there is no place to put your wheelchair. The man in the wheelchair replies with well I have a rope that I could tie to my wheelchair and to your car.
The guy in the Ferrari gives the man a horn and says if I go to fast just sound this horn and I will slow down.
Some time later they are driving along the highway when a Porsche comes up behind the Ferrari. The driver of the Porsche thinks to himself I will show him that a Porsche is faster than a Ferrari.
The Porsche blows past the Ferrari. The guy in Ferrari thinks I'll show that Porsche that a Ferrari is faster.
Moments later they fly past a traffic officer on a lunch break at high speed.
The officer calls his supervisor, and says sir I think I need a vacation.
Why is that officer asks the supervisor?
I just saw a guy in a Porsche and a Ferrari racing by at high speed.
And a guy in wheelchair sounding his horn in an attempt to try and get get past.
There is a guy in a wheelchair making the hand sign of wanting to get a lift beside the highway.
A guy in a Ferrari stops and says to the guy I'd love to help you but there is no place to put your wheelchair. The man in the wheelchair replies with well I have a rope that I could tie to my wheelchair and to your car.
The guy in the Ferrari gives the man a horn and says if I go to fast just sound this horn and I will slow down.
Some time later they are driving along the highway when a Porsche comes up behind the Ferrari. The driver of the Porsche thinks to himself I will show him that a Porsche is faster than a Ferrari.
The Porsche blows past the Ferrari. The guy in Ferrari thinks I'll show that Porsche that a Ferrari is faster.
Moments later they fly past a traffic officer on a lunch break at high speed.
The officer calls his supervisor, and says sir I think I need a vacation.
Why is that officer asks the supervisor?
I just saw a guy in a Porsche and a Ferrari racing by at high speed.
And a guy in wheelchair sounding his horn in an attempt to try and get get past.
!showlaser
.
I hope I won't get banned for this... Anyway, here it goes.
Roses are red, violets are glorius, don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius
Roses are red, violets are glorius, don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius
Did you hear he killed his girlfriend because he couldn't understand a joke she told him?
It got him stumped.
sry niki <3
What did the turkey say when he arrived in Ankara
-Damn I feel such at home.
-Damn I feel such at home.
The last time Chuck Norris took a picture the camera said "Cheeeeese"
After Sunday's events in Boston, there is to be a 30 second silence before the London marathon.
To listen for ticking.
After Boston marathon bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev was captured in a boat in a garden, it seems his knowledge of terrorist bombing was obviously much greater than his knowledge of sailing.
So I hear the Boston Marathon was won by a nose..... an ear and a finger.
The lengths Obama will go to just so he doesn't have to attend the funeral of Maggie Thatcher.
I was watching an eye witness on the news talk about the Boston bombing. "I heard a loud explosion, I ran." He said.
Cant believe they're blaming the Iranians already.
When I'd heard that the winners of the Boston Marathon had finished and had left nearly two hours before the bombs went off I couldn't help but think Darwin was right when he talked about survival of the fittest.
There have been two small explosions at the finish line of the Boston Marathon.
Coincidently, North Korea are reportedly out of missiles.
I won the Boston marathon by two feet but got disqualified.
Apparently your whole body has to cross the line.
The terrible events that happened in Boston a few days ago have inspired me to do something I have never done.
I'm watching the London Marathon this year.
The Boston police chief was asked if the bomb terror suspect was Russian.
"Initially, he was pretty fast." he replied.
They have decided not to cut the ribbon at the opening of the London marathon, instead they have opted to cut the blue wire.
To listen for ticking.
After Boston marathon bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev was captured in a boat in a garden, it seems his knowledge of terrorist bombing was obviously much greater than his knowledge of sailing.
So I hear the Boston Marathon was won by a nose..... an ear and a finger.
The lengths Obama will go to just so he doesn't have to attend the funeral of Maggie Thatcher.
I was watching an eye witness on the news talk about the Boston bombing. "I heard a loud explosion, I ran." He said.
Cant believe they're blaming the Iranians already.
When I'd heard that the winners of the Boston Marathon had finished and had left nearly two hours before the bombs went off I couldn't help but think Darwin was right when he talked about survival of the fittest.
There have been two small explosions at the finish line of the Boston Marathon.
Coincidently, North Korea are reportedly out of missiles.
I won the Boston marathon by two feet but got disqualified.
Apparently your whole body has to cross the line.
The terrible events that happened in Boston a few days ago have inspired me to do something I have never done.
I'm watching the London Marathon this year.
The Boston police chief was asked if the bomb terror suspect was Russian.
"Initially, he was pretty fast." he replied.
They have decided not to cut the ribbon at the opening of the London marathon, instead they have opted to cut the blue wire.
My Thai girlfriend said that a small penis should do no harm to our real loving relationship.
Still wish she had none.
Still wish she had none.
What do you call an blonde behind a wheel?
An Airbag
An Airbag
What's the difference between hungry and horny?
Where you put the cucumber
Where you put the cucumber
This avatar.
The bad jokes thread
(1536 posts, started )
FGED GREDG RDFGDR GSFDG