This may well be a huge, HUGE sum of text, but here goes, feel free to skip if you CBA.
I cannot really comment in that much depth about illegal drugs, simply because i havent done em, well, maybe the odd joint as a youngster, but thats about all.
However, what i CAN comment on (and those who know me in real life can and will agree, particularly becky) is alcohol.
Its no secret to some on this board that i have had (and continue to have, to a point) issues with the drink (damn, theres a whole thread i made on it somewhere in offtopic!) and i will totally agree with what S14 said a few pages ago, which was how you feel about your life, things that have happened to you personally, and whats going on etc, affecting you attitude and therefore use of such things.
I have always enjoyed the odd pint or 2 of a weekend with a few mates down the pub, its just the way things are, the pub is the centre piece of the villiage, and its a place for youngsters, middle aged people and OAP's alike to meet, chat and socialise, a bit like the old days, everything was discussed over a beer down the boozer, go back 25 or 30 years and it was the norm everywhere.
I never drank to get drunk, i simply enjoyed a chat with folk over a nice cold pint after a hard week at work and (especially during boiling hot summer weather!) who could blame me, beer garden, sunshine, summertime, lovely.
Then, my life changed, i lost my driving license due to some silly handbrake turn related incident (nothing to do with alcohol) so instead of going out in my car with mates to cruises and stuff, i had nothing to do, and all this spare money (i sold my car as i was banned so no point keeping it) boredom, and sadness at not being able to drive, i climbed into a beer can for about a year...
Weekdays, go to work (hungover usually) home from work, dinner, telly, then id start at about 8 ish, to my room, PS2 (they were new then!) play loads of games, crisps, and a couple of cans,but over the weeks and months, the odd can turned into 2, then 3, and before i knew it, it was 8 cans of caffreys every night, but strangely i always used to go to bed fairly early, 11pm was usually as late as i would stay up, i was probably falling to sleep because of all the beer tho.
Then weekends, mindset to get as trollied as possible, over newmarket for about 8pm, pubs, clubs, kebab and then home at 5am, totally $hitfaced!
Then something else happened quite by chance, her name was mel.
She was only 5 years older than me but knew my parents as they used to go to the same pub over in soham and had become friends, i never used to go with them when they used to go over on a wednesday evening for karaoke (too engrossed in beer and playstation remember!) and on sunday, psshh, no chance, by lunchtime i was still sleeping saturday night off!
By some way or other our paths inevitably crossed (i think mum n dad had maybe told her about how i was getting and got her to have a word) and before i knew where i was me and mel were really good friends and instead of blowing £100 odd and being pissed out of my tree every weekend and vegging in my room every weeknight i was going out with mum and dad over to soham and enjoying a couple (3 max) pints in the pub and socialising, plus i had been introduced (by mel) to karaoke, i have no shame, plus it was really fun.
But then there were still the evenings where there wasnt a karaoke on anywhere and i was still drinking myself silly at home, until mel came upto me on one of the nights i was out and said, i feel that i know you well enough to say this to you now, dont waste your life sitting in your room like a sad act, youre being a ****ing idiot, why are doing it, what is the point of it, really, why drink your life away, are you just bored, or what, is having mates who care not enough for you??
And i couldnt answer it with a valid response, because she was right, and deep down, i knew she was, i simply had nought better to do, time on my hands, yeah lets have a drink after drink in my room like a recluse, it'll pass the time, nothing better to do.
So i simply found another interest, a mate of mine moved back nearer to mine, and used to help someone he knew build bangers of an evening, and so i then became danthebangerboy, building cars in the evening with me mate who used to take me with him, plus i still had my wednesday nights in the pub with parents and mel, and it worked, cant get pissed when working on cars can i?
In time i got my license back (after having to retake my test) and all was good, in hindisight i neglected mel and the pub eventually as my mates mate (now my mate) had got more committed to doing more race meetings and i was needed more there, plus i could drive again now.
Then i met my (now ex) fiancee, and we were really happy, i worshipped her and she did me, so i drifted away from racing, just wanted to be with her, plus i couldnt afford the 15 mile round trip everynight once we moved in together, which is where i went a bit off again, she lost her job, money got real tight, and i started slipping back into that ol' beer bottle in the evenings again, i was happy with her, but unhappy with the circumstances, work all day, bust my balls, but always nearly broke, beer helped block it out.
Then i realised that it was becoming an issue again and thats when i started a thread on here somewhere about it all, and although i knew it myself anyway, seeing other people offering advice helped push me into making a change, so i did.
I then ended up splitting with her and moving home, and although i was probably at my lowest ebb ever around about then, i never slipped into those old ways again, coz i know that it doesnt work!
I have been there and done it, twice, and it really is pointless, so i have kerbed the habit.
Im not going to lie, even now, i have a drink every day, one can of beer in the evening, and i am quite happy with that, because in my heart of hearts, i am most likely addicted to, or at least somewhat dependant on alcohol, but one can of lager while watching telly is much more acceptable and sensible (not to mention better for me) than multiple cans every night.
I have my weekends down the pub, where i do have 4 or 5 pints sometimes, but the difference is that i do not get drink to forget, or to get totally plastered, i just enjoy a beer socially, and thats good enough for me.
You may wonder, whatever happened to mel??
Theres a party on this saturday night, i am meeting her there, i think a good ol catchup is in order,god i have missed her!