Quote from S14 DRIFT :

Seriously though, alot of girls don't actually know what they want until they're at an age when they've matured enough to understand that what you want in a partner is someone who is reliable and dependable, not some baseball cap wearing knobend who goes clubbing and flirts outrageously with every girl possible. Generally between the ages of 16 and 21 most girls are into the above, after which point they mature enough and realise that their boyfriend is never going to move out of his mother's council house and so they find someone else.

Or, alternatively you could look further afield than your local Maccy D's for a girl.

Seriously, where the **** do you get this shit?

Quote from Jakg :

Seriously, where the **** do you get this shit?

Probably from the internet, it's serious business!

Well i may be one of the few, but i can see where s14 is coming from with that post TBH, he makes some valid points with what he has said in my opinion, but as i also said earlier, the same can be said for guys too, but yeah, i agree with what he said anyway.

Well its completely irrelevant to me since shes 22 :P

He makes blatant generalizations. What he wrote may apply to the folks you meet at some parties, but otherwise... way off.

And to say things like it takes a certain age to be mature, know what you want etc. Let me tell you, age has nothing to do with it. A lot of people i know who are well over 30 still don't know what they want in their lives. 21, yeah right...

To be honest, these posts sound a lot like some of his posts in the "just do mushrooms" thread. Uninformed, misinformed and a bit "green behind the ears".

Quote from jibber :

To be honest, these posts sound a lot like some of his posts in the "just do mushrooms" thread. Uninformed, misinformed and a bit "green behind the ears".

Klutch likes this.

so...i have a pretty good feeling about this, so does she.

Never been able to talk to someone so openly and freely, we're both comfortable with each other and weve been discussing "Dos and Donts" and such.
And i believe communication is key.

Feels good man.

Quote from brandons48 :

I agree with all of this, you can't just generalize all young people as baseball hat wearing knobheads.

I don't generalize all young people as being knobheads... I generalize all people to be knobheads until they prove themselves otherwise.

I know the comment wasn't directed at me, but I felt the need to comment

Quote from Klutch :

Never been able to talk to someone so openly and freely, we're both comfortable with each other and weve been discussing "Dos and Donts" and such.
And i believe communication is key.

Dude, sorry to be harsh, but you act more like her girlfriend than like a Real Man. Girls need to share feelings and feel connected, but she has girlfriends to share feelings with, and if you start acting like one, you lose masculine traits of character. You too may need to share feelings sometimes, but don't do this with a potential gf. This way there's no mystery about you for her.

Then, talking of what's right and wrong and doing, maintaining the order, are completely different matters. Just an example: a girl said I have a point on ethics and that she supported me in that, but the very next day she invited me to do sports so that inconveniencies and efforts were 100% to me, 0% to her, and the pleasure would be shared 50/50. I hated but had to say "No way."

Be a man, dude, value yourself.

Quote from detail :

Dude, sorry to be harsh, but you act more like her girlfriend than like a Real Man. Girls need to share feelings and feel connected, but she has girlfriends to share feelings with, and if you start acting like one, you lose masculine traits of character. You too may need to share feelings sometimes, but don't do this with a potential gf. This way there's no mystery about you for her.

Then, talking of what's right and wrong and doing, maintaining the order, are completely different matters. Just an example: a girl said I have a point on ethics and that she supported me in that, but the very next day she invited me to do sports so that inconveniencies and efforts were 100% to me, 0% to her, and the pleasure would be shared 50/50. I hated but had to say "No way."

Be a man, dude, value yourself.

So...communication in a relationship means im not being a man?

I'll keep that in mind...

I'm not saying you're not a man, but if you "communicate" so openly with her not when having sex, you get more feminine traits to your image.

Let me put it this way: for her to feel attraction and be happy to reach a relationship with you, to value you, she needs to do some work before you approve of her. It's still your job to lead and do the first kiss, etc, but she has to feel she conquers you.

Quote from detail :

I'm not saying you're not a man, but if you "communicate" so openly with her not when having sex, you get more feminine traits to your image.

So...no communication outside of sex? How will one know when the line is drawn on what one can and can't be doing?

Shes much different to other girls.

I think you're completely wrong. But meh.

Quote from brandons48 :

There's more to a relationship than just sex...

+1

Not to mention there's nothing wrong with having "feminine" traits. Sure you can't be an outright chick as a guy.. but having some respect isn't a bad thing.

+1 again.

I've seen so many relationships fail because theres no communication, each side is afraid to speak up when they're jealous, they don't know whats not and whats acceptable in the relationship, it all builds up then eventually goes to shit.

I'd like to avoid this, and i believe communicaiton is the easiest way to do it. If we both know whats acceptable and whats not, then we're less likely to accidently step on, or over the line at some point accidently.
If talking to someone about your thoughts and feelings is feminine, then i guess i have a vagina.

Quote from brandons48 :

There's more to a relationship than just sex...

Sure. Did I say the opposite?

Quote from Klutch :

+1 again.

I've seen so many relationships fail because theres no communication, each side is afraid to speak up when they're jealous, they don't know whats not and whats acceptable in the relationship, it all builds up then eventually goes to shit.

Ok, if you were just discussing what's acceptable and what's not, it's ok, but there's no guarantee that anyone of you will follow the agreements. You still need to set boundaries and speak up if she does unacceptable things. Relationships fail because one or both persons don't do it. But you don't need to sit down and discuss this beforehand. It's not a contract.

Quote from detail :

but there's no guarantee that anyone of you will follow the agreements.

Theres an awesome thing called trust. Relationships are based around it.

Quote from detail :

You still need to set boundaries and speak up if she does unacceptable things.

Thats what the whole conversation was about...setting our boundaries and finding out whats acceptable between us.

Quote from detail :

But you don't need to sit down and discuss this beforehand. It's not a contract.

Well look at it this way.

If i walk into her making out with another girl, and we had not discussed wether it was acceptable or not, what do you think would happen?

Quote from Klutch :

Theres an awesome thing called trust. Relationships are based around it.

Sure. Let me outline that trust is based on actions, not talks. And why are you so angry at me?

Quote from Klutch :

If i walk into her making out with another girl, and we had not discussed wether it was acceptable or not, what do you think would happen?

It depends on how you both trust each other and how self-confident you are. If she's attracted to you and you control the situation, then no problem if she goes and guys buy her drinks, pay taxi for her, etc. If you're not sure, or if she controls it, that's a bad sign. And see, it doesn't matter whether you agreed to something or not.

Argh. You're an idiot.

Quote from detail :

I'm not saying you're not a man, but if you "communicate" so openly with her not when having sex, you get more feminine traits to your image.

Let me put it this way: for her to feel attraction and be happy to reach a relationship with you, to value you, she needs to do some work before you approve of her. It's still your job to lead and do the first kiss, etc, but she has to feel she conquers you.

Behold! Detail, the Barbarian. Manliest of men. Tremble before the conquering might of his biceps and dominated wenches.

Quote from Klutch :

Argh. You're an idiot.

Oh, nice of you both.

I ask because you seem anxious. Otherwise you'd have taken this easily and with humour.

Quote from MAGGOT :

Behold! Detail, the Barbarian. Manliest of men. Tremble before the conquering might of his biceps and dominated wenches.

Oh, stop flattering me.

Quote from MAGGOT :

Behold! Detail, the Barbarian. Manliest of men. Tremble before the conquering might of his biceps and dominated wenches.

this is clearly a case of cultural boundaries being struck and creating confusion right now.
never underestimate the pride & upholding of traditions of russian men.

Quote from detail :

I ask because I see you're a bit anxious about the relationship. If you were in control of the situation and emotions, you'd have taken this easily and with humour.

I think anyone would be anxious when they've finally gotten there best friend, of whom they've been chasing for almost...3...years?

WE are in control of the situation. I'm not a controlling douchebag, shes her own person.