Think twice before getting your wife a gift
(20 posts, started )
Think twice before getting your wife a gift
..and back to the store
LOL and ow.
I'm getting Mrs Hank an iPod. I don't think that'd hurt too much if she, um, inserted it
I'm getting Mrs Hank an iPod. I don't think that'd hurt too much if she, um, inserted it
Do they still sell the iPod Shuffle? That would be ideal with regards to your concern
Ah, yes they do! And, thank heaven, it's even smaller than the Bic-sized one now :up:
linkage - look at that! I'd barely even feel the wee bugger. It'd be like throwing a postage stamp down a hallway
linkage - look at that! I'd barely even feel the wee bugger. It'd be like throwing a postage stamp down a hallway
Just don't buy stuff like washing machines and you're pretty safe 
#7
- spankmeyer
To boldly go where no Spanky has gone before!
I have managed to get through 25+ years of human existance without never having to get a Christmas present for a girlfriend. Unless I somehow manage to train wreck my ongoing dating parody in approx. one month, it's danger zone for me too.
You think she'd appreciate Slayer's back catalogue over a pink Ipod?
You think she'd appreciate Slayer's back catalogue over a pink Ipod?
That's a creative way of saying you never had a girlfriend!
Vain
#9
- spankmeyer
I'm getting hot and steamy three-way action every Christmas with Santa, Rudolf and Jesus. There's only so much Spanky to go around so ladies are not needed during the special holiday. 
EDIT: Ooookay... no more Google for me:
EDIT: Ooookay... no more Google for me:
lol spank 
Shopping Advice For Men
Here is my guide for guys shopping for their partner.
You must go shopping with her at least once before Xmas.
Shopping Tip: Ignore the things you want - you know them already, and she does too. She's probably known since about July. Walk close to her and watch what she's looking at when she stops in shops.
Clothes
Under no circumstances buy clothes. You are a man and know nothing. Accept this.
Buy a size too big and you get: "How fat do you think I am?" and sleep on the sofa. Forever.
Buy a size too small and you get either: "You think I need to lose weight!" or (even worse) she just thinks she's too fat and refuses to eat. Much safer just to ignore the clothes stores. And shoes. Stay away from anything marked "edible". Point her at something shiny. Speaking of which...
Jewelery
If she doesn't wear gold, don't buy her gold. Likewise with silver. That's a guaranteed fight starter ("You pay no attention to me!").
Look at her earrings (subtle, guys). Are they studs or hanging? Don't get one if she doesn't wear it. If she wears both you're fine, as long as it's not totally out of her style.
Necklaces. If she isn't religious, don't get her a crucifix, a pentacle, a star of David or any other religious symbol. If she wears choker style necklaces, go with that style. If she wears elaborate loose ones, that's your thing.
Bracelets. See necklaces. Under no circumstances buy her a pair of handcuffs as her main present. Save this for a secondary present.
Do not buy her a watch - this must be picked by her so that it matches every single outfit she owns. You do not have the experience required to co-ordinate this massive operation.
Rings are a grey area. If you happen to know the size of her fingers, this is fine. If not, it's normally safer to avoid rings altogether. Also, you may not want to risk the whole "ring/commitment" thing.
Chocolates/Flowers
You might think this is a safe bet, but you are (as usual) wrong.
If she's on a diet and you get chocolates, you will get sulked at. Or she'll eat them then blame you when she puts on 3 ounces. If you get candy she doesn't like and you do (coincidence or not) you will be accused of being selfish.
Flowers are a strange one. They have good initial impact, but since they die so quickly you will be expected to replace them regularly. If you have been together for a while, buying flowers will make her think you have done something wrong.
With both of these - watch for allergies. Nuts and pollen. You do not want to be responsible for sending her to hospital. You may both laugh about it some time in the future, but it will ruin her day and that will be remembered for all time.
Books/Videos/DVDs
You might be happy with the newest car chase, explosions, nekkid chick film, but that's not a great idea. Her favourite book/movie is acceptible but will not get you many points as a main gift. It's not very personal. This changes if you can get it signed by the author/director/actor. These are best reserved as secondary gifts.
Note: If you buy her favourite film or album you will have to watch it/listen to it with her. This is not negotiable. If you hate it, don't be the one to buy it. You can escape if someone else buys it for her, but if you do you will get "Why did you get me it if you hate it so much?".
Follow these simple instructions and you will (probably) avoid a fatal argument.
Additional Advice: If you still can't think of anything to get her, take her somewhere a couple of days before and get her to actually choose something.
If it's early in the relationship, you can get away with "I'm not sure what you like yet so didn't want to risk getting something you didn't like."
You must follow up the non-surprise present with dinner. This will soften the blow. The present surprise is gone, but you replace that with a surprise meal and a gift she will actually like. Sorted.
Hope this helps some of you survive the festive period
You must go shopping with her at least once before Xmas.
Shopping Tip: Ignore the things you want - you know them already, and she does too. She's probably known since about July. Walk close to her and watch what she's looking at when she stops in shops.
Clothes
Under no circumstances buy clothes. You are a man and know nothing. Accept this.
Buy a size too big and you get: "How fat do you think I am?" and sleep on the sofa. Forever.
Buy a size too small and you get either: "You think I need to lose weight!" or (even worse) she just thinks she's too fat and refuses to eat. Much safer just to ignore the clothes stores. And shoes. Stay away from anything marked "edible". Point her at something shiny. Speaking of which...
Jewelery
If she doesn't wear gold, don't buy her gold. Likewise with silver. That's a guaranteed fight starter ("You pay no attention to me!").
Look at her earrings (subtle, guys). Are they studs or hanging? Don't get one if she doesn't wear it. If she wears both you're fine, as long as it's not totally out of her style.
Necklaces. If she isn't religious, don't get her a crucifix, a pentacle, a star of David or any other religious symbol. If she wears choker style necklaces, go with that style. If she wears elaborate loose ones, that's your thing.
Bracelets. See necklaces. Under no circumstances buy her a pair of handcuffs as her main present. Save this for a secondary present.
Do not buy her a watch - this must be picked by her so that it matches every single outfit she owns. You do not have the experience required to co-ordinate this massive operation.
Rings are a grey area. If you happen to know the size of her fingers, this is fine. If not, it's normally safer to avoid rings altogether. Also, you may not want to risk the whole "ring/commitment" thing.
Chocolates/Flowers
You might think this is a safe bet, but you are (as usual) wrong.
If she's on a diet and you get chocolates, you will get sulked at. Or she'll eat them then blame you when she puts on 3 ounces. If you get candy she doesn't like and you do (coincidence or not) you will be accused of being selfish.
Flowers are a strange one. They have good initial impact, but since they die so quickly you will be expected to replace them regularly. If you have been together for a while, buying flowers will make her think you have done something wrong.
With both of these - watch for allergies. Nuts and pollen. You do not want to be responsible for sending her to hospital. You may both laugh about it some time in the future, but it will ruin her day and that will be remembered for all time.
Books/Videos/DVDs
You might be happy with the newest car chase, explosions, nekkid chick film, but that's not a great idea. Her favourite book/movie is acceptible but will not get you many points as a main gift. It's not very personal. This changes if you can get it signed by the author/director/actor. These are best reserved as secondary gifts.
Note: If you buy her favourite film or album you will have to watch it/listen to it with her. This is not negotiable. If you hate it, don't be the one to buy it. You can escape if someone else buys it for her, but if you do you will get "Why did you get me it if you hate it so much?".
Follow these simple instructions and you will (probably) avoid a fatal argument.
Additional Advice: If you still can't think of anything to get her, take her somewhere a couple of days before and get her to actually choose something.
If it's early in the relationship, you can get away with "I'm not sure what you like yet so didn't want to risk getting something you didn't like."
You must follow up the non-surprise present with dinner. This will soften the blow. The present surprise is gone, but you replace that with a surprise meal and a gift she will actually like. Sorted.
Hope this helps some of you survive the festive period
Great, seems awesome advice, I'll copy that for safe keeping and later reading. 
Heh good advice but have to meet some one first before i worry about that stuff...
I am sure Bob is in the same boat, unless hes met someone and isn't telling
mad
I am sure Bob is in the same boat, unless hes met someone and isn't telling
mad
why didnt their wives throw bananas at them?
ehm....I wonder if I still can return that ski set to the store....
kinda worries me....it has too many objects in one set....including ski boots
edit: anbiddulph - LOL, great bananas vid
kinda worries me....it has too many objects in one set....including ski boots
edit: anbiddulph - LOL, great bananas vid
Last advice: if you ask her what she'd like, and she says: you should know... it's a PS3.
My solution for the flowers that die really quick, get the ones that are living that will live for as long as she keeps watering it.
My problem is that I have to choose between a girl and racing. I always choose the racing.
My problem is that I have to choose between a girl and racing. I always choose the racing.
Ever heard of plastic flowers? That'll surely be welcomed!
So, basically, you're saying the only safe gifts are neclaces and earings; as long as you get the right ones. (and presumably at least ones that look expensive!) Right?
We all should know that by now!
Nice guide. I'm sure some of the guys here will find it useful. I'm in the 'singles' boat right now. Fortunately, this is a co-ed singles boat and there's an open bar.
OK, weird video. Funny though.
Think twice before getting your wife a gift
(20 posts, started )
FGED GREDG RDFGDR GSFDG