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#1 - amp88
Why did the chicken cross the road? (Formula 1)
I've just been watching the 2000 Italian GP and at the end of the Australian broadcast they had Alan Jones reading out an F1-themed "Why did the chicken cross the road" article. Made me chuckle.

Why did the chicken cross the road? We asked this traditional question of a whole load of Formula 1 personalities. As you'd expect from grand prix drivers and team managers, the answers were quite varied...
Mika Hakkinen "Why did the chicken cross the road?" (pause) "that's tough question" (pause) "maybe" (pause) "maybe it's a question you have to ask the chicken."
David Coulthard "I was really surprised when the chicken swerved right in front of me and crossed the road. I was expecting it to walk straight along the pavement, but it just cut right across in front of me. I think we'll need a ruling from the FIA if chickens are allowed to do this."
Michael Schumacher "The chicken is allowed to move over, that is clearly within the rules. The chicken can make one move to defend his line. But it can't zig-zag backwards and forwards across the road. What it did was quite fair and within the rules."
Luca di Montezemolo(Ferrari) "The chicken knew that it couldn't get to the other side of the road first, it had to wait for the rooster and let it through."
Ron Dennis (McLaren) "The objective of the poultry individual in this situation is to work towards the goal of a road crossing. We're comfortable that that can be achieved using only bi-ped motional forces. We would refuse to compromise until a safe chicken arrival scenario had been achieved."
Alain Prost "For sure the chicken crossed the road. But for me it was not as interesting as chickens crossing the road ten years ago."
Rubens Barrichello " I'd like to dedicate the chicken crossing the road to my great friend Ayrton Senna"
Max Mosley " We have to find ways of slowing chickens down and making them safer. For that reason the FIA are changing the rules so that chickens crossing roads will be equipped with special chicken bodywork and neck supports."
Jacques Villeneuve " So what the f*** if the chicken gets run over. The chicken wanted to cross the road."
James Allen (ITV pitlane reporter) "Hey guys, you're not going to believe this, but the chicken's on a different strategy to the bantams."
Murray and Martin:
Murray: "And as the lights go out, it's GO GO GO for the duck as it dives towards... "
Martin: "It's a chicken Murray."
Murray: "Yes, yes, it's a chicken, charging into the lead. I think it's got this race sewn up."
Martin: "The chicken's stopped, Murray."
Murray: "DISASTER for the chicken! This will throw the whole badger crossing championship wide open!"
Hahahahahah!
lol, nice! =)
#4 - buedi
You forgot Montoya: "This f*cking Chicken broke my f*ckin´head!!"
If this would be WRC someone (can't remember who) would say: my co-driver got an egg up his ass.
#6 - amp88
Nick Fry would say "This year the chicken is going to be the best chicken and really mature as an animal" only for it to prove to be not capable of making it all the way.
#8 - Davo
i lolled

should make one for forum users
Ok

Tristan: The chicken didn't move realistically due to canned effects
AtomAnt: Hey chicky chicky chicky, why are missiles green?
Jakg: Woot, I'm older than the chicken
Phlos: I haxxored the chicken to make it quicker
Scawen: The chicken is delayed because of babies and kitchens
Al Heeley: The chicken is, in fact, a pie!
Axus: Todd's chicken is way better than any other chicken
Demo Racers: Teh chickenz need teh NOS, teh bodykits and more cars

Any more?
#10 - JTbo
Quote from tristancliffe :Ok

Tristan: The chicken didn't move realistically due to canned effects
AtomAnt: Hey chicky chicky chicky, why are missiles green?
Jakg: Woot, I'm older than the chicken
Phlos: I haxxored the chicken to make it quicker
Scawen: The chicken is delayed because of babies and kitchens
Al Heeley: The chicken is, in fact, a pie!
Axus: Todd's chicken is way better than any other chicken
Demo Racers: Teh chickenz need teh NOS, teh bodykits and more cars

Any more?

felplacerad: The chicken went to get pie. Sweet, sweet pie.
IanH: I dont get chickens; ducks are much better.
Danowat: Squirrel, fishcake, lemon, starfish on the pier.
Shaun463:
#12 - Gunn
tristancliffe: "I'm pretty sure I'm right about the chicken and even if I'm not right, I'm certain that I'll realise that I'm not right long before the chicken actually finishes crossing the road .... but you'll have to wait until I get home before I post the answer. "

:hidesbehi
Bob Smith : According to the Gear Ratio Calculator the chicken crossed the road with a lateral acceleration of 1.78g!
Quote from hrtburnout :Bob Smith : According to the Gear Ratio Calculator the chicken crossed the road with a lateral acceleration of 1.78g!

according to his chicken analyser!!!!
Quote from tristancliffe :Ok

Demo Racers: Teh chickenz need teh NOS, teh bodykits and more cars


Inspired...had me rolling on the floor, and made me spit my coffee out of my nose!
(dont drink coffee while reading funny threads...you might just find one that is actually funny!!)
#16 - JTbo
Quote from Bladerunner :Inspired...had me rolling on the floor, and made me spit my coffee out of my nose!
(dont drink coffee while reading LFS forum...you might just find one that is actually funny!!)

There, I fixed it for you
"we need a mountain road for chickens to cross!!!......sideways"
Quote from tristancliffe :Axus: Todd's chicken is way better than any other chicken

this one had me in stitches

how bout
niels: chickens are an outdated technology that should have been replaced years ago
Interviewer: "Why did the chicken cross the road, Kimi?"

Kimi Raikkonen: "To take a shit."
"Chickens are rubbish. All these wings are just crap, what you need is a wingless bird!"
Quote from Leifde :"Chickens are rubbish. All these wings are just crap, what you need is a wingless bird!"

yeah... chickens with ugly wings a pure rice and are made for showing off...those are regulary slow chickens
The STCC broadcast team : After the chicken's failed switchback move on the duck, who he was then all over the back of, they are relatively even-stevens on their road crossing attempt.

Why did the pervert cross the road?

Cos he couldn't get his knob out the chicken
Quote from duke_toaster :

Why did the pervert cross the road?

Cos he couldn't get his knob out the chicken

'Cause he was trying forced induction on the chicken...


....and now i see the white text...
Caribbean Cruise player : My chicken hit a restricted area when it crossed the road! I need a refund!
Montoya: Theres too much politics in chickens crossing the road, its boring, I'm going to race Hens in circles over in the US.

L.Hamilton: I don't want to test the chickens next year, I want to cross the road with the other chickens. After thinking about it I would be happy testing chickens next year. I'm happy that I get to cross the road with the other chickens next year, I feel no pressure having a double chicken crossing the road champion in my battery.

FGED GREDG RDFGDR GSFDG