If this one doesn't win I'm going to petition to have the thread closed. Great stuff!
OMFG I just remembered - I had a dream with your name in it last night! I was checking the inbox on my phone and there were only two texts in it, the first one I can't remember but the second was from "Origamiboy"!!! Then I woke up and thought "WTF was all that about?"
Officer - "Your vehicle is not street legal"
Driver - "AH COME ON! It's the only car able to turn around here"
Officer - "Very unpatriotic of you, young man"