Oh I see.
Well, stating that you miss Connie more than Juan does not, in my book, count as fancying, and therefore you lose all 'bagsy' rights. If you don't agree with this, then I am happy to meet you in a public place (preferably near a school, so that the 'member of staff breaking it up' rule can be upheld), somewhere between our two places of residence. A good bit of playground fisticuffs should sort it.
However, any party in 'The Fight' should also be deemed a loser if they a) pull hair b) kick in groin or c) resort to tickling. Pretty much anything else, unless defined before the fight, goes.