Ok looking for some inspirational/or funny quotes that are held close to the heart of the LFS community. Of course for one to expect participation, one must participate oneself (I've stumbled across a couple of Stephen Fry book's....I think they are starting to have a slight side affect :shrug

• "Intellects solve problems; Geniuses prevent them." - Albert Einstein.
  
• "Don't judge a man by his umbrella - it might not be his" - Talbot House.
  
• "A wise man washes his hands after he pees. A wiser man doesn't pee on his hands." - Unknown
  
• "Always do Sober what you said you,d do Drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut." - Ernest Hemmingway
  

The following come form the late and great W. C. Fields

• "Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people."
  
• "It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it."
  
• "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it."
  

Does this Count:
“Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless - like water. Now you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup, you put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle, you put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.” Bruce Lee

speaking of horses
It is difficult to be sat on all day, every day, by some other creature, without forming an opinion about them.
On the other hand, it is perfectly possible to sit all day, every day, on top of another creature and not have the slightest thought about them whatsoever.

Quote from Mackie The Staggie :

• "A wise man washes his hands after he pees. A wiser man doesn't pee on his hands." - Unknown

That just made my day...

Don't know if it counts but here it is:

• "It doesn't matter what job you do.It's how you do it."-Unknown
  
  
• "A man travels over the world in search of what he needs and returns home to find it."-Unknown
  
• "A house is made of walls and beams .A home is build of love and dreams."-Unknown
  
• "If you are not in fashion you're nobody."-Lord Chesterfield
  
• "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."-John Lennon
  
• "Imagination is more important than knowledge."-Albert Einstein
  
  
• "Heaven never helps the man who will not act."-Sophocles
  
  
• "Inspiration and genius--one and the same."-Victor Hugo
  
• "As i grow to understand life less and less,I love more and more."-Jules Renard
  
• "One way to get the most out of life is to look upon it as an adventure."-William Feather
  
• "All men hear is blah, blah,blah, SEX, blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah BEAR."-Dennis Leary
  
• "You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither!"-Drew Carey
  
• "Ducking for apples - change one letter and its the story of my life."-Dorothy Parker
  
• "Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour.Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity."-Albert Einstein
  
• "I am an only child. I have one sister."-Woody Allen
  
  
• "I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens."-Woody Allen
  
• "A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on."-Winston Churchill
  
• "I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals."-Winston Churchill
  
• "Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?" Robin Williams
  
• 
  

I'll carry the wench off, he muttered, experimentally dropping his voice half an octave, and lock her in my dungeon. His voice returned to its normal pitch with a regretful sigh. Except I haven't got a dungeon. It would have to be the closet. Grandfather's right, we are a reduced generation.
-- Miles ponders the difficulties of villainy. (Lois McMaster Bujold, The Warrior's Apprentice)

Quote from Bladerunner :

The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't. Douglas Adams

Man that guy could turn a phrase:

• "All it takes to fly is to hurl yourself at the ground... and miss." - Douglas Adams
  
• "In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move." - Douglas Adams
  

And some other good'uns from my archives:

• "With soap, baptism is a good thing." - Robert Ingersoll
  
• "The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with." - Marty Feldman
  
• "The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' but 'That's funny...'" - Isaac Asimov
  
• "Always be wary of the Software Engineer who carries a screwdriver." - Robert Paul
  

Pretty much anything by Groucho Marx; the man was a genius.

Quick Link!

Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.

Terry Pratchett

A few of my favourites...

• "Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself." - Harvey Fierstein
  
• "When the people fear their government, there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is liberty." - Thomas Jefferson
  
• "Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blind-folded fear." - Thomas Jefferson
  

"Physics is like sex: sure, it may give some practical results, but that's not why we do it."
-- Richard P. Feynman

Stephen Hawking

I have noticed even people who claim everything is predestined, and that we can do nothing to change it, look before they cross the road

When one's expectations are reduced to zero, one really appreciates everything one does have

The old paradox: Can God make a stone so heavy that he can´t lift it?
-------
One ancinet Dark Lord

Equality is a lie…A myth to appease the masses. Simply look around and you will see the lie for what it is! There are those with power, those with the strength and will to lead. And there are those meant to follow—those incapable of anything but servitude and a meager, worthless existence.
"Equality is a perversion of the natural order!…It binds the strong to the weak. They [the weak] become anchors that drag the exceptional down to mediocrity. Individuals destined and deserving of greatness have it denied them. They [the strong] suffer for the sake of keeping them even with their inferiors.
"Equality is a chain, like obedience. Like fear or uncertainty or self doubt.


One cannot avoid the darkness unless one knows where it lies and the routes that lead to it

-------

Quote from Inouva :

The old paradox: Can God make a stone so heavy that he can´t lift it?

IMHO, if there is a god, he does not lift things. He just moves them from one place to another. To lift something you need to be a physical body. But if god not made of matter, then he cannot lift anything. Therefore he could just change the location of an object by moving the individual atoms each, but at so quick of a speed that it would appear to the human eye that it is being moved as a whole. If he was able to create something, then he can disassemble it, and re assemble it in another location.

Quote from Inouva :

I have noticed even people who claim everything is predestined, and that we can do nothing to change it, look before they cross the road

I agree completely. Predestination is false. Nothing is "meant to be." If there is a god, I do not believe that he controls every thing that happens. I think that maybe he could have created the planet, and then just sat back and watched what happened.

All the inspiration I need "VTEC just kicked in YO!"

one of the greatest influences on how ai treat people around here is dogbert... one of my favourties of his is
you must have misuderstood your question

"I have never let my schooling interfere with my education."
- Mark Twain

"Although the most acute judges of the witches and even the witches themselves, were convinced of the guilt of witchery, the guilt nevertheless was non-existent. It is thus with all guilt."

The Gay Science

As per my signature. Fair makes me 'think' sometimes.

It's nowt to do with God, the mountains are my religion

Wisdom is one of the few things that look bigger the further away it is. -- Terry Pratchett

Last night I was in my bed, gazing up at the stars, and wondering: where the hell did the ceiling go? -- Unknown

"[...] if you wants to understand an enemy, you gotta walk a mile in his shoes. Den, if he's still your enemy, at least you're a mile a way and he's got no shoes"
- Troll philosopher Plateau (via Terry Pratchett)

Don't try. Trying is the first step to failure.

Homer Simpson

"trying is the first step towards failure" - H. Simpson

edit: Hyperactive, you're scary

'Never trust a man who, when locked in a room on his own with a tea cosy, doesn't try it on."

-Billy Conolly

One that I either heard or made up to excuse my childish behaviour...

Immaturity is the key to eternal youth - Unknown (or me)